Girl Humor! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

MelissaM · 05-27-2003, 03:41 PM

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" the woman says, "I'll miss you."

____________________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" he asked his wife standing there.
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

____________________________
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.

____________________________
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

_______________________
He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror

______________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

______________________
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to her. "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

..And they say blondes are dumb....

_______________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been
such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! ...Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger....... Whoosh!....Immediately he turned ninety!!!

..Gotta love that fairy!

Chy · 05-30-2003, 04:34 PM

You know why they call it PMS dontcha?
Because the term madcow disease was already taken!

Tigeress · 05-31-2003, 06:06 PM

Loved all of them!

JT · 05-31-2003, 08:47 PM

Now I know what I will say when Ward asks why I spend so much on groceries!!

Yeayyyy!
JT

05-27-2003, 03:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
MelissaM Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Anywhere, USA Posts: 27	Girl Humor! A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" the woman says, "I'll miss you." ____________________________ "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" he asked his wife standing there. "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. ____________________________ He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded. ____________________________ He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. _______________________ He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror ______________________ Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ______________________ One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to her. "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." ..And they say blondes are dumb.... _______________________ A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! ...Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger....... Whoosh!....Immediately he turned ninety!!! ..Gotta love that fairy! __________________ Perhaps God had chosen me in my time to detail what I learned from all the madness about. :kisshug:

05-30-2003, 04:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,867	one of my fav's You know why they call it PMS dontcha? Because the term madcow disease was already taken!

05-31-2003, 08:47 PM	#4 (permalink)
JT Supply Manager Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cleaverville Posts: 2,903	Now I know what I will say when Ward asks why I spend so much on groceries!! Yeayyyy! JT __________________ The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind~Wayne Dyer

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05-31-2003, 06:06 PM	#3 (permalink)
Tigeress Paused Join Date: May 2003 Location: North Carolina Posts: 39	Loved all of them!

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