fooled everyone - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

fooled everyone · 07-19-2007, 11:03 AM

Hi there,
I am a new member today and I call myself fooled everyone, because I have the past 3 years. I got my 4th DWI within 20 years and have been on probation for the past 3. I was mandated to go to an out-patient treatment center and enjoyed the people and the meetings but never stopped drinking. I have a gift to be able to smooze my way through.
I owned a bar and a restuarant for 12 years and I have had a very succesful career in the food service industry for the past 7 years. Alcohol was a contributing factor to leaving that job but was not the only reason. ( I left and was not fired).
There is so much to tell I am not sure where to begin. I was reading a forum about gastric bypass and alcoholism and yes I did have a gastric bypass (it is totally true you go from one addiction to another).
Fot the past 5 years I have been with a codependant and alcoholic that is 20 years younger than I am. Our life has been alcohol and he got a dwi 2 months ago and is now facing 5 years probation. He went on his last bender 2 days ago and today is his second day of sobrety and he is hurting. For me I said I was sober all day yesterday with him but that was not true. For some reason I never wake up w/ a hangover and he suffers greatly. I have decided today to stop fooling everyone and try to get sober with him
I currently work in a bar 3 night a week and that doesn't help but we are attending our first AA meeting with his father on Friday. (we both now do not have a drivers licence so we depend on family and cabs to drive us around)
Thank god I have the most wonderful and supportive family and i want to dedicate my sobriety to myself becoming a whole person and to them)
I could go on for hours but with tears rolling down my face I will stop for now.
God bless anyone who reads this and may have some feedback.

***Anna*** · 07-19-2007, 11:20 AM

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us!

I was convinced I had fooled everyone in my life too, but after I got sober I realized how wrong I was about that. People either knew or they suspected that I was an alcoholic.

This is a great place for support and inspiration. I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life. When I was in early recovery I could not have worked in a bar. Even today, that is not a job I would want - not saying it won't work for you, I hope it does, but I think it would be way too stressful. It's great that you have a supportive family who will be behind you as you go through this.

I hope you keep posting!

splendra · 07-19-2007, 11:22 AM

((((fooled everyone)))))

Welcome to Sober Recovery!

I worked in a bar for several years after I quit drinking eventually I got tired of my role in keeping the misery going....

I used to think I had everyone fooled but the main person that was fooled was me...

I found that to be able to slick talk and bamboozel others was more a detriment than a gift. Cause the main reason I was doing these things was to get someone to do for me what I needed to do for myself.

Once I started taking responsibility for myself I liked the new freedom. I did not have to avoid anyone or remember what lie I told to who. I found it takes a lot less energy to rely on myself than to try and manipulate others. I became a real friend to others and my presences is welcomed instead of loathed and avoided.

fooled everyone · 07-19-2007, 11:33 AM

Thank you so much for your fast responce. I agree I must take full responsibility for myself. I am really excited to be a part of this group. Have a wonderful day!

Dragon Dancer · 07-19-2007, 05:48 PM

Welcome!

Thank you for sharing, I really related to your story. Especially swapping addictions and thinking I had everyone fooled. It takes courage to decide to stop fooling people and be truthful.

Good on you for deciding to take responsibility and to become sober.

God bless you and welcome aboard!

CarolD · 07-19-2007, 10:14 PM

Hi FE....Welcome to SR!

I did try to keep working in the
bar...restaurant...hotel industry when
I first started sobriety.

The ambiance and late hours and
total lifestyle was too stressful for me.

Sooo...I took an office job...less money..
less stress...better hours
and I stayed sober and much happier...

Years later I did do a waitress job to
supplement my SS ..part time days and no
alcohol was served. I'd still be there
except for my poor vision.

Anyway...I'm pleased to see you are starting
sobriety and I strongly suggest you see a
doctor before abruptly stopping.

Let us know how you are doing..k ?

barb dwyer · 07-19-2007, 11:52 PM

welcome !!

Fluttering · 07-20-2007, 12:44 AM

Hi fooled

I know I thought I was fooling everyone...the biggest fool was myuself for thingking I could...
Welcome to SR.
I am glad you are here

This is the place for love , encouragement and loads of support..

indigo · 07-20-2007, 02:00 AM

First of all WELCOME to SR and Women in recovery. My story is the same as yours, I thought I was hiding my tracks, I was to everyone cept me. W're here for you and hope to get to know you better.

Fluttering · 07-20-2007, 07:06 AM

Good Morning

Another day..We can be real!!!

fooled everyone · 07-20-2007, 08:44 AM

Thank you ladies for your responses and support. Today I am attending my first AA meeting...well actually it is the New York State convention at the Queensbury Hotel. I live in Queensbury and I feel graitfull to have this opportunity. I am attending with the support of my partner (it is his first time also) and his father. I will fill you in on it.
Last night I worked at the restaurant and I made it through but at one point in the night I didn't think I would make it. My life and career has been the restaurant and food industry plus i don't have a drivers licence so I am not sure what to do.
It has been suggested to me that I see a doctor in-case of withdrawls but for some reason I have not experience withdrawls the way I have read them to be or have seen my boyfriend experience them. He is going through it as we speak.
I am praying he will find his higher power and be able to tame these demonds as well. They say to take it day by day so that is all we can do.
Again thank you all for your response
God Bless you!

parentrecovers · 07-20-2007, 08:47 AM

nice to meet you, fooled - i'm glad you found us. recovery is possible. honesty is a real big part of part. so good for you for "fessing up".

blessings, k

NEEDTOBESOBER · 07-20-2007, 09:01 AM

welcome aboard and I was the same way some people I fooled, but finally caught up to me- 3 DWI's -problems with relationships and now I am going to go to Detox , i am also addicted to xanax. Good Luck. I also would suggesst finding a different line of work-just being around alcohol is too tempting.

BigSis · 07-20-2007, 09:15 AM

(((Fooled))) Your story interersts me very much, and I am sending prayers for continued commitment and clarity.

Hoping today is a good one for you.

Teazr17458 · 07-20-2007, 10:56 AM

You Can Do It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nae · 07-20-2007, 10:06 PM

Welcome Fooled Everyone. I look forward too reading what you share with us.

07-19-2007, 11:03 AM	#1 (permalink)
fooled everyone Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Queensbury New York Posts: 9	fooled everyone Hi there, I am a new member today and I call myself fooled everyone, because I have the past 3 years. I got my 4th DWI within 20 years and have been on probation for the past 3. I was mandated to go to an out-patient treatment center and enjoyed the people and the meetings but never stopped drinking. I have a gift to be able to smooze my way through. I owned a bar and a restuarant for 12 years and I have had a very succesful career in the food service industry for the past 7 years. Alcohol was a contributing factor to leaving that job but was not the only reason. ( I left and was not fired). There is so much to tell I am not sure where to begin. I was reading a forum about gastric bypass and alcoholism and yes I did have a gastric bypass (it is totally true you go from one addiction to another). Fot the past 5 years I have been with a codependant and alcoholic that is 20 years younger than I am. Our life has been alcohol and he got a dwi 2 months ago and is now facing 5 years probation. He went on his last bender 2 days ago and today is his second day of sobrety and he is hurting. For me I said I was sober all day yesterday with him but that was not true. For some reason I never wake up w/ a hangover and he suffers greatly. I have decided today to stop fooling everyone and try to get sober with him I currently work in a bar 3 night a week and that doesn't help but we are attending our first AA meeting with his father on Friday. (we both now do not have a drivers licence so we depend on family and cabs to drive us around) Thank god I have the most wonderful and supportive family and i want to dedicate my sobriety to myself becoming a whole person and to them) I could go on for hours but with tears rolling down my face I will stop for now. God bless anyone who reads this and may have some feedback.

07-19-2007, 11:20 AM	#2 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 27,847	Hi and Welcome, I'm glad you found us! I was convinced I had fooled everyone in my life too, but after I got sober I realized how wrong I was about that. People either knew or they suspected that I was an alcoholic. This is a great place for support and inspiration. I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life. When I was in early recovery I could not have worked in a bar. Even today, that is not a job I would want - not saying it won't work for you, I hope it does, but I think it would be way too stressful. It's great that you have a supportive family who will be behind you as you go through this. I hope you keep posting! __________________ Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Marianne Willianson

07-19-2007, 11:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
splendra the girl can't help it Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: splendraville Posts: 5,508 Blog Entries: 3	((((fooled everyone))))) Welcome to Sober Recovery! I worked in a bar for several years after I quit drinking eventually I got tired of my role in keeping the misery going.... I used to think I had everyone fooled but the main person that was fooled was me... I found that to be able to slick talk and bamboozel others was more a detriment than a gift. Cause the main reason I was doing these things was to get someone to do for me what I needed to do for myself. Once I started taking responsibility for myself I liked the new freedom. I did not have to avoid anyone or remember what lie I told to who. I found it takes a lot less energy to rely on myself than to try and manipulate others. I became a real friend to others and my presences is welcomed instead of loathed and avoided. __________________ nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

07-19-2007, 05:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
Dragon Dancer Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 8	Welcome! Thank you for sharing, I really related to your story. Especially swapping addictions and thinking I had everyone fooled. It takes courage to decide to stop fooling people and be truthful. Good on you for deciding to take responsibility and to become sober. God bless you and welcome aboard! __________________ --- Look for the miracles in life --- --- Life is for learning and laughter ---

07-19-2007, 10:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	Hi FE....Welcome to SR! I did try to keep working in the bar...restaurant...hotel industry when I first started sobriety. The ambiance and late hours and total lifestyle was too stressful for me. Sooo...I took an office job...less money.. less stress...better hours and I stayed sober and much happier... Years later I did do a waitress job to supplement my SS ..part time days and no alcohol was served. I'd still be there except for my poor vision. Anyway...I'm pleased to see you are starting sobriety and I strongly suggest you see a doctor before abruptly stopping. Let us know how you are doing..k ? __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

07-19-2007, 11:33 AM	#4 (permalink)
fooled everyone Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Queensbury New York Posts: 9	Thank you so much for your fast responce. I agree I must take full responsibility for myself. I am really excited to be a part of this group. Have a wonderful day!

07-19-2007, 11:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 10,942 Blog Entries: 7	welcome !! __________________ Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

07-20-2007, 12:44 AM	#8 (permalink)
Fluttering Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Fluttering About Posts: 3,473	Hi fooled I know I thought I was fooling everyone...the biggest fool was myuself for thingking I could... Welcome to SR. I am glad you are here This is the place for love , encouragement and loads of support.. __________________

07-20-2007, 07:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
Fluttering Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Fluttering About Posts: 3,473	Good Morning Another day..We can be real!!! __________________

07-20-2007, 08:44 AM	#11 (permalink)
fooled everyone Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Queensbury New York Posts: 9	I've just been fooling myself Thank you ladies for your responses and support. Today I am attending my first AA meeting...well actually it is the New York State convention at the Queensbury Hotel. I live in Queensbury and I feel graitfull to have this opportunity. I am attending with the support of my partner (it is his first time also) and his father. I will fill you in on it. Last night I worked at the restaurant and I made it through but at one point in the night I didn't think I would make it. My life and career has been the restaurant and food industry plus i don't have a drivers licence so I am not sure what to do. It has been suggested to me that I see a doctor in-case of withdrawls but for some reason I have not experience withdrawls the way I have read them to be or have seen my boyfriend experience them. He is going through it as we speak. I am praying he will find his higher power and be able to tame these demonds as well. They say to take it day by day so that is all we can do. Again thank you all for your response God Bless you!

07-20-2007, 08:47 AM	#12 (permalink)
parentrecovers let it grow! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: USA Posts: 15,542	nice to meet you, fooled - i'm glad you found us. recovery is possible. honesty is a real big part of part. so good for you for "fessing up". blessings, k

07-20-2007, 09:01 AM	#13 (permalink)
NEEDTOBESOBER Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS Posts: 501	welcome aboard and I was the same way some people I fooled, but finally caught up to me- 3 DWI's -problems with relationships and now I am going to go to Detox , i am also addicted to xanax. Good Luck. I also would suggesst finding a different line of work-just being around alcohol is too tempting.

07-20-2007, 09:15 AM	#14 (permalink)
BigSis On a tear Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Volcano Country! Posts: 3,240	(((Fooled))) Your story interersts me very much, and I am sending prayers for continued commitment and clarity. Hoping today is a good one for you. __________________ No matter how spoiled the past may be, our future is spotless.... BigSis

07-20-2007, 10:56 AM	#15 (permalink)
Teazr17458 Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Orange, Texas Posts: 36	You Can Do It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

07-20-2007, 10:06 PM	#16 (permalink)
Nae Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: USA Posts: 64	Welcome Fooled Everyone. I look forward too reading what you share with us. __________________ The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.

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