Hello girls, I'm feeling isolated

[GailJ]

Just wondering if anyone is out there tonight. Just started on stress meds and detoxing from beer. Crashed and burned and binged the biggest night of my life last Wednesday. Got really ill for days afterwards and relapsed majorly into post traumatic stress disorder. Called the crisis centres on the weekend got nowhere.
Went to doc yesterday and saw a psychiatrist today. Between the two of them they prescibed some heavy duty meds to help me detoxing. I am doing this with some support online and online communication with my kids(live 5hrs away) and with one sister.
My hubby has not cleared the house of empties and is out now playing pool and drinking beer. It's driving me crazy,

Someone just talk to me please I need female reassurance
Thanks in advance
Gail

[Anna]

Hi Gail,

Welcome!

There is lots of support here. It sounds like you went through a tough time last week and have made a good choice. I do know what you mean about the PTSD. I was so overwhelmed with horrible memories when I stopped drinking, I didn't know if I could make it. They would keep replaying in my mind and were just like being there. But, I got through it and you can too. You can move forward.

I'm glad you found us.

[GailJ]

Thankyou Anna, Those are definately symptoms associated with PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder. It was not being able to cope with the ptsd symptoms that started my binging 5 to 10yrs? on and off. I have had a lot of tragic events over the past 10yrs and got a tripple wammy last month. It caused a relapse as my PTSD is chronic.

The pill is starting to kick in now. Easing the panick attack. I am determined to quit for good and kick this stupid ptsd in the but once and for all. Thanks for the quick reply.

[GailJ]

I'll come back in the morning and post some more. I live on a farm and don't drive so I do get feeling very isolated a lot. I'll be asking for a lot of support. Think I will call it a night early. Thanks so much.

[Rowan]

I hope you keep posting, Gail, and that you have a good night's rest tonight.

Rowan

[indigo]

Yes I hope you keep coming back and welcome to the Women's forum.

indigo

[GailJ]

Good Morning:
Feeling better today. Have a hard task to complete today. One I'm dreading...I need to gather all the beer empties scattered across 16acres of farm. I want them out of here.
Just started on anxiety meds and want to get these out before the side effects kick in. Off work this week and the next two so I better make the most of it.
I check in on the forums regularily throughout the day, it's nice to feel I am not alone. I spent the last year on uncommonforum.com they are a mental health forum too. But alcohol was never in the forfront there. I am glad I found this forum. I am looking forward to making good friends here. I know the next few weeks will be rough for me. Thanks in advance

[GailJ]

Ug Once again I notice my time zone is 2 and a half hours ahead of the forums.
Better then the other forum over there I'm five hours behind. Going to have a tea and do some chores. Check back in a couple hours. Morning to all

[CarolD]

Hi Gail....Morning Hugs

Well hon...you ARE isolated so no
wonder you feel that way.

I do know how I quit drinking...
perhaps it will help you to read
this link full of information

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html (Excerpts "Under The Influence")

I stay quit with God and AA.

I will check back later

[Anna]

Hi Gail,

I'm glad you checked in this morning.

I hope you have a good day. I plan to have a good day too. I work late today, so I get the morning to myself!

[GailJ]

Nice to here you folks having a good morning. I'm really glad I found this forum. I like that it is centred on women. Right now I don't have much faith in men. I love my hubby but he's a goof when it comes to communicating, feeling and supporting.

Just having a tea and finished weeding my flower bed. Overcast here but lovely warm weather. I'd post my story but it's enough to drive anyone back into drinking.

Just will try to focus on keeping it positive. Will post a pic of me for you all on my profile.

[GailJ]

I think I need minimum number of posts before I am allowed a pic or signature. Gonna sign off for a while.

[indigo]

Keep coming back to post hon.

indie

[GailJ]

Hi all, Wednesday I went to see a psychiatrist for the first time. He put me on meds to help me cope whist detoxing and dealing with the PTSD relapse. I'm off work to recover. Not the first time. I had 4 months last year off because of post traumatic stress. New medicine seems to be working really well. I was dozzy the last couple days and slept a lot. A little clearer today and a little more energy. 5 days sober at this point and going to stick with it. I've been reconecting with old friends on a depression forum at uncommon forum, (I post there a lot as joannag) and through my myspace site (profile and blog)at myspace.com/j_i_caseworld. Also hubby strangely is supporting me through this and my sister and two of my sons via email.
Fourth relapse in ten yrs and first time I have support. It's still blowing my mind.

Thanks for the replies, It really helps

[Anna]

Gail, you are allowed to post a picture or signature.

Just go to User CP and click Edit Signature and go from there.

I'm so glad you have lots of support. I know the PTSD is difficult to live with. I am on antidepressants and have been for years, so that helps somewhat. I have learned from this forum that you have a window of about 60 to 90 seconds, once a thought enters your mind, to stop it cold. You have that much time before the physical, visceral part takes over. It's hard to maintain that, but it does help.

[Nae]

Gail: welcome. i remember the feeling of isolation; and at the time having few people support my decision. you wouldnt believe how much i relied on the computer too be able to connect with people who could relate to me. i just wanted to say thanks for sharing and look forward to seeing you around SR.

[GailJ]

Thanks so much Nae, yes I miss my freedom of being able to drive anywhere, a cab to town is twenty dollars. So I am on the farm mainly. My hubby is a workaholic so we really don't get a lot of time together. My kids live 5 hrs away and they havn't been to visit for a year now. Missing them so much even though they are emailing me now. Your right about the computer being a lifeline it has been for me in talk therapy and medical reserch into my disorder.
I am on day 6 alcohol free. Hubby is even drinking in front of me and it's not bothering me at all. He knows when to stop. I think I'll be ready to go back to work after our two week summer shutdown which starts next week. These new medications are working really well, much clearer headed today, not as drowsy or weak, feeling much better. I guess you do what you need to do to recover and no one should be ashamed for chosing health over illness and addiction.
Anyone who wants to see my profile and blog can go to myspace.com/j_i_caseworld. I have quite a few pics on my blog there of my farm and my family. I,m going out to edge the beds in my vegetable garden today. The weeds are taking over. I'll post pics on my blog when it's done. Turned out really well and quite proud of it. If you want to be a myspace friend let my know you know me from here. Can't say I'm not craving a beer right now especially being the weekend but I'll do my best to remind myself that one would only lead to another and to a binge, and that I can not drink with meds period. Once I get outside I can focus on the garden. Have a great day folks

[indigo]

Thanks hope you have a good day too.

[GailJ]

Yes Indigo, it was a good day for me yesterday, My edger broke so that was it for the garden maintenace. We were invited to a party and even though it was awkward being one of two sober people there. I did very well and hubby did to. We stayed through horseshoes and volleyball, watched the fire for a while and came home rather early around 11:30.
It was a great success on the sobriety side. I admitt however today I was really egdey and I allowed myself one beer, switched to gingerale, then the neighbour came over with two beer. One for hubby and one for me. She came over to make peace As I had to call the dog catcher on her Friday. Her dogs, very large dogs have developed a taste for our chickens and turkeys. She is seldom home and I had to call the dog catcher as I caught the dogs, breaking fence and killing one of our turkeys, they had gotten two chickens the day before. Anyway I did have the beer with hubby and her and we came to an amicable understanding. Now I am back to gingerale again, had a roastbeef and cheese sandwich right after the beer and heading back out for work with hubby. I am doing OK the cravings are there but I won't drink another one today. Promise...

[Anna]

Hi Gail,

I'm glad things are going well.

I think, that if you continue to drink, the cravings will continue too.

The only way I found to be rid of the cravings was to stop drinking. At least that's what worked for me.