unsure

[thiskidknows]

its fathers day on sunday and Its really messing with my head, I keep remembering my old man, the last time I saw him and how he screwed my life up and "primed" me for ab*se. I'm meant to be going out with a friend whose very much into drugs and drink, part of me wants to go so I don't think about it on sunday whilst many ppl are enjoying they time with they old man, or remembering good times (and I do get jealous, bad isn't it) I just want to forget, but another part knows that I won't forget and it will be more intense as the drink takes over.. I don't want to let her down I just not sure its good for me, but i've never put me first and its doesn't feel right.

[indigo]

Maybe it's time to put YOU first LC.

safe hugs indie

[Anna]

LC, you know what is the right thing to do.

Don't worry about other people, take care of yourself.

[thiskidknows]

The right thing is not to go...to stay at home. I've never been any good at putting me first, always others then me. I guess because I don't like me and also because by helping others, by being the people pleaser means I feel like I have a reason to be here..that probably makes little or no sense. but I do need to put me first, just scared and feels wierd cause I've never done it.

[Jolo1]

I understand what you are saying here only too well - never give up on trying to put you first - I know it is hard and I am a fine one to talk but I do keep trying and I struggle with it and I fight myself over it but one day it will get easier - don't give up!