the rollercoaster of life

[wolflet]

well.....about a week & a half ago i lost my job of almost 5 years........the first 2 days i did not drink, have now been drinking again too much
even to the point where the woman i'm in love with invited me out to dinner at the nice local restaurant/bar that i go to........the bartender hadn't seen me in quite awhile & padded my 2 drinks & i'ld already had some......had a nice time untill the end & this wonderful woman had to drop me back home while i was appologizeing for drinking too much!!

going thru up & down days like a carnival ride.....one day i think it's a great kick in the pants from the universe........i had gotten comfortable at my job & wasn't going anywhere

many friends are standing by me, got some under the table work with a guy i know.....we passed each other on the street!!..........got my vendor stuff out of where i was fired from..a friend was moveing & needed help & had a truck!
found housemates to rent after 2 months of paying it all myself.......the good list goes on & on,,,,,,,,,yet somedays i wake up & just feel overwhelmed!

anyway good to be on the site...i need SR right now & hearing other womens stories helps...........thanks everyone..wish me luck!

[Anna]

Hi Wolflet,

I'm glad you are posting again and I truly believe that another door will open for me. And, it does sound like you have some good things going on in your life too. Of course, the best way to move forward is to stop drinking and then, each day, just do what you can.

[wolflet]

yeah, the "bad" days are usually involved with drinking.......basically i need to figure out what i want to do with my life & just do it!.........alot of possitive stuff going on, just felt like i needed to post again (other than in the follies, or the ocasional reply)........check in, be honest, & have some understanding/support......my friends are great, but they aren't SR folk......some have drinking issues, but don't have big ones.most only drink once & awhile........they love me, but few understand

[Anna]

And, that's why we're here Wolflet, because we are all on this journey together and we understand.

[wolflet]

thanks!

talked w/good friend & she started looking up flower essences for me........some folk may think they are new age twaddle, but i've used them before & they really do help, besides they are ancient, not new, & 2 of the 3 she suggested are plants that i have a connection with

just want to stableize this rollercoaster...actually i said to her."stop the rollercoaster, i want to get off & start winning prizes".......she laughed at that, & she is one of my few close friends that does understand the drinking issue. not so much from herself, but from her family & from one person that she was with years ago.......she also happens to be the woman i went to dinner with & told me when she dropped me off that she didn't want to see me end up a "insert name of ex that chose drinking over a real relationship"

life is funny eh?

[wolflet]

just checking in.w'myself as much as here.....spent all day yesterday w/good friends & part of today.haven't drank again yet..looked on line about jobs & classifieds..started working on resume..did the dishes..heck, that's a banner day sometimes..........

[blankethog]

Originally Posted by wolflet

....haven't drank again yet....did the dishes..heck, that's a banner day sometimes..........

Hello wolflet,
I was glad to read your post this afternoon, glad to hear you've not had a drink today. You reminded me that I have dishes to do too! It's funny how focusing on the small stuff right in front of us can help us make it through the tough moments, at least long enough to experience another good moment as well. Sometimes it's not a day at a time, sometimes it's a minute at a time ... and all baby steps. Just hang in there.

It's hard looking for a job while in early sobriety; I did that. After awhile I found that going to at least one meeting every day provided me a respite from my own frustration. Eventually I found work through someone I met at a meeting! You never know when another door will open. Try getting back to meetings if you can; they may not seem to help right away but at least you won't be drinking during that hour, right?

My heart goes out to you, (wolflet)

[wolflet]

got some pickup work with a friend that refinishes furniture, so at least i've got some $ coming in while i look. split a bottle of wine with friends at dinner last night, but a small bottle between 3 people with dinner doesn't scare me the way a whole bottle of saki (my usual) by myself does. alot of people might disagree, but to me it's very different!.....well, should go check my phone messages.........feeling better about things in general, tho.