It's been a while.

[namommy]

Hi Ladies.
It's been a while since I've been on.

I came on tonite, because my head won't stop running. I don't know why. Or, maybe I do.

I stopped participating in my recovery. I haven't been to a meeting for over a month. I left my homegroup, I don't have a sponsor. I just stopped. I even stopped coming here.

My life is still as hard as it's been for a long time. But, now I've given back the tools I had to deal with it.

I am still battling with my migraines, and I had an MRI last week. Nothing big, but a 5mm nodule of ischemic white matter. I have an appointment with a headache specialist in 10 days.

I don't even know why I am posting all this. I do know that I need to make a decision. I can't just float through my life this way. I am not happy with anything right now. Not that I have a whole lot to be happy about.

Steve is still down. He's not brining in any money, we are at least 2 to 3 months behind in all of our bills, my employer is giving me a very hard time. They are busting my B*lls about missing time. Christmas is coming. Last night my oldest daughter was in a car accident and totalled her car. She messed up her bad knee (she has rheumatoid arthritis) and burned her arms and hands from the air bag. I couldn't just run to get to her, she lives 2 hours away.

I'm sorry for the whiney, grumbling, moan fest, but I need to get it out. I feel safe getting it out here.

I love you ladies for making me feel that way.

[historyteach]

(((Laurie)))

I'm so glad you've vented it out here. And that you felt safe enough to do so.
Now, what's keeping you away from your meetings and your sponsor?
There's nothing at all more important than your recovery, right? Cuz, without that, you've got nothing.

Laurie, please continue to love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of recovery again. Sounds like a meeting or a call to your sponsor would do you good right about now... no?

Shalom!

[CarolD]

I am so sorry this crap is going on!

Prayers and Mega Hugs

[ayla zaire]

i'm glad you came here and posted...it always helps you know you are not alone...i hope your daughter is alright...and i'm no stranger to being broke...i know how bad it sucks....
maybe a meeting would help...you should do something for yourself...relax if you can...i hope things get better for you...and i wish i had some words of wisdom that would solve all your problems...but you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight and if you need to vent feel free to pm me...

hugs...and welcome back!

ayla

[Hope]

I was just thinking about you today and wondering how you were.

I'm so glad that you reached out and shared here with us. We care.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*

[Fred]

Thinking positive thoughts for you!
xxxxx
Maureen

[indigo]

Good to see you girl, I know it's only words but they come from my heart, please take care of yourself, things never stay the same and it's surely your turn for some good stuff.

hugs annie

[BigSis]

(((Laurie)))

I know you were struggling with your home group - have you considered an Alanon group? Perhaps getting into a different focus for your recovery will bring you a new perspective.

Prayers going up...

((((Steve)))) (((((Laurie)))) (((((daughter))))))

[mendingheart]

Hang in there tomorrow is a new day with new windows to open....just invite the good in. I think it is something in the air, ......today I find myself struggling also.
Peace to your heart and here is a big hug for your troubled thoughts.

[scootinbabe]

this too shall pass. chant that mantra...it does seem to help.

come here anytime and vent away...whatever it takes.

good to see you again!

{{hugs}}

[namommy]

Thank you all for the comments. I am just so tired. I need to start another thread with the rant that is in my head though.

I really appreciate all the thoughts and prayers.