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10-28-2006, 11:06 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,364
| is anyone else confused about where they belong?
i am an addict...a woman in recovery...a newcomer...the child of an alcoholic...a mother...i suffer from depression and have my whole life...i post all over the place because i can relate to so many topics and problems...just wondering where i belong...can you relate? it seems we all share so many problems...
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10-28-2006, 12:37 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: MAINE USA
Posts: 312
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I am an alcoholic and we all have the same behaviours. New too this site also. I have 17 months and had 13 years onve but stopped going to AA meetings and drank again. You must also go to real live NA and or AA meetings.
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10-28-2006, 01:16 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter  Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,136
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I post mostly in the Naranon forum because my daughter is an addict, but I am also the child of an Alcoholic. Have dealt with addiction in one form or another most of my life and have had periods of depression and anxiety, although I feel my primary problem is codependency. So no you are not alone in your confusion. Am starting therapy this week for my issues. Marle
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10-28-2006, 01:26 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 11,018
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I started off in the Women's forum because I didn't feel comfortable sharing things anywhere else. But, I love the Newcomers forum and also frequent the Mental Health forum.
__________________ Anna  "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou |
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10-29-2006, 03:15 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Community Greeter  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,133
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You know Ayla I've asked myself that same question and I think that the answer is we are all humans and it's life, I do believe we chose our paths before we are born as lessons...if that's so, we sure pick some biggies. Brians welcome I agree with Anna find out where you feel most comfortable and see how that sits with you. indigo
__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté  |
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10-29-2006, 09:06 PM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| goin' to sane land............  Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Some dusty road?????
Posts: 456
| What to do, when you can't do anything else....talk Quote:
__________________ Even PARANOID people have REAL enemies.........from a book I read somewhere in my 3rd yr rotation getting my master's degree....Kahlia | |
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10-29-2006, 09:41 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: El Cerrito
Posts: 38
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I am primarily a codie i guess, with addict tendancies. I also have suffered from depression. So I go all over this site. I think the disease is the same one for all of us, but the way we manifest symptoms differs. I go to alanon/aca face to face meetings because that is where i feel i fit in best (the cause of the problem "Family of Origin"). But I discuss all of my issues with my therapist. I have come to believe that I am powerless over abuse in and of itself. I try to keep my recovery focused on my most at risk behaviors of the moment. I hope to see more of you all over this place, where we all "belong". Peace |
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10-29-2006, 10:14 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: charlotte,nc
Posts: 1
| i like that---brand new here myself  Quote:
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11-08-2006, 07:16 AM
| #9 (permalink) | |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Wyoming
Posts: 280
| Quote:
If i choose my path before i was born i want to know 1 thing.............WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING......LOL
__________________ If I dont accomplish anything else today, I can always remember I woke up sober! | |
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11-08-2006, 09:07 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Trying to do the right thing.  Join Date: May 2006 Location: London
Posts: 4,354
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Yep sure is,....I also find i need to post all over as i come from an alcholic, violent family,...but carnt go into alanon as im an addict ,surviver, woman in recovery, depressed, selfharmer,...and i have 4 uncles who are chronic alcholics' n i grew up with them,...at my Grans so was'nt with my mum from 9......!!! So I really end up wandering into most places,..apart from friends n family, n alanon.....!!! They wont want me,... an Addict there,...! Im still on opiates,...low n detoxing,... but not clean...!!! Anyhooooo Just Totally Agree there Honey,..Well put... 
__________________ Weve come along way and were Changing day by day  We DO Recover. We can Recover...! |
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11-08-2006, 09:31 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,781
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Ayla, I am the adult child of an alcoholic and I am an alkie/addict and I have had chronic depression with periods of mania my whole life. When I got sober there really weren't a lot of 'different groups' available. I went to AA because I felt then and still do that ALCOHOL was my primary problem. True I expanded my recovery from that 12 step program, joining Al-anon and getting into private therapy with a pdoc. It was only years later that there started to be meetings of ACOA and other 12 step programs and I was well on my way down the Recovery Road by then. Only you know what your PRIMARY problem is. Work on that one first and foremost. The rest does fall into place in time. J M H O Love and hugs,
__________________  God Bless You All As You Trudge The Road Of Happy Destiny (especially when you trudgin thru alligators up to your butt) |
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11-08-2006, 10:23 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| HopeInFaith Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 55
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I'm not sure what I am. I'm not the child of an alcoholic....I drink, and sometimes when I drink it's under control...but most of the time when I drink I drink too much and I have black outs, and I make really bad decisions, and I keep thinking that the next time will be different...and I'm just tired of it all.....so tired
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11-08-2006, 11:24 AM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: California
Posts: 977
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I definitely qualify for every forum except the Men's Room! Both my parents were addicts, all my brother's and sister's became addicts. I became the "chosen" one to take care of my addict parents and I did so until they died. I scored for them and shared drugs with them since I was 16. I married an alcoholic (who else?) I didn't know what an alcoholic was and since he was a high functioning alkie, it didn't bother me. He needed a drinking buddy and I became his partner. When I decided to quit drinking he chose the bottle over me and that was that. Some months later he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and guess who came back to nurse him until he died? Yep, it was me. He never understood the power of love and he did not die peacefully. Meanwhile back on the ranch, my parents were waiting for me to come back and take care of them financially and physically. I felt so devastated because I had lost myself in my marriage and although I tried to remain clean and sober I began using again because my parents needed me and they sucked me completely dry physically, financially and emotionally. I became so angry at them that in my insanity I wanted them to "see" how selfish they were so I became even more ****** up than they were. Didn't matter. both died with drugs in their systems in their late 70's and early 80's. It was only then that my surviving sister (other died of liver failure) my brother and I could get clean/sober. We didn't need to go out and score for them anymore, we didn't have to participate in their insanity anymore...we were free. I post all over these forums and am so grateful to be alive to tell the story! Out of my past came the realization that I needed to become clean and sober again just to remember who I really was. That information didn't come to me until I was quite a few months sober, but that one moment of clarity, of pride, of self assurance was worth the months of suffering the detox.. At that moment I knew who I was and who I wanted to be. I felt at the time I was reinventing myself, maybe I was? I truly did fake it til I made it and I practice it hourly.... sometimes by the minute. For all of you sisters still suffering from past wounds.. I wish for you the ability to put your past behind you and begin living fresh again. We can not continue to live in the present while still hanging on to the victimization of our pasts. We can't continue to allow our family, husbands, children to haunt us and distract the ownership of OUR present.. we can't allow them to live rent free in our heads and hearts any longer poisoning our every breath. Whether alive or passed on their memories and the habit of constantly reguritating our past victimization will devour us. We must move on. Happiness is within our grasp... it is a process. Act like you want to be, remember it's none of your business what others think about you and most importantly for yourself, try to do the next right thing... doing this has really helped my self esteem grow again.
__________________ Fake it til you make it!  |
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11-08-2006, 11:45 AM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 512
| I often wonder where I belong as well... Primarily I'm an addict...but I was an alcoholic from the time I took my first drink, drinking to the point of blackouts. I found that I liked speed much better than anything else...in '83 I was introduced to meth and it was love at first sight. I, too am an ACOA...daddy was the raging alcoholic wifebeater...mommy was depressed, manic depressive, suicidal and was in and out of the hospital with "nervous breakdowns". I was trained to be the "nurse" since I was 5 years old...my mom says that I acted like the mom at that age, taking care of her! She divorced him when I was 12. He became my "friend"...instead of my father...I used to go bar-hopping with his 18 y/o girlfriend when I was 14. I married a nicer addict when I was 16, not because I was pregnant but because I needed some emotional stability in my life. We were married for 8 years and spent plenty of time partying before we decided to "settle down" with children. He cheated on me first, and I don't get mad...I get even. Our marriage was doomed. The only thing we had left in common was the kids...and the drug use. Years later... Fast forward>>>>> I'm incredibly unhappy with everything...I'm using meth on a daily basis. I've fallen in love with Prince Charming, a co-worker, who I think is a normie who may rescue me from the miserable situation I'm in...but he's really not that into me. It's one of those "friends with benefits" relationships. Meanwhile, I get busted at work...a dirty UA...I've got to get clean and sober or give up my career. Mr Wonderful has married and had a child...in another state without telling me. I get a divorce because exAH is still using...and it's a threat to my sobriety to live in the same house, as well as the kids right to have a secure and happy home. I'm now a bit over 5 years sober...I do have a better life! Really... My worst day sober is better than my best day messed up, in the end of that vicious cycle of addiction...where every moment was spent thinking about the next high... But the insanity continues... my ex remarried 3 months after our divorce was final...(it was final 13 days after our 25th wedding anniversary) his "new" wife of 3 years almost now, recently convinced him to sell all of their stuff (including his precious Harley) and become a Gypsy, living in a travel trailer to move south, location unknown. He's going to fix campers for a living instead of having a "real job". They both drink every night according to the kids...and probably are still doing meth as well.....but it dosen't bother me except for the fact that he won't be here for his kids...ya know...weddings, graduations, births of babies, ect... Mr Wonderful...he moved back from 2000 miles away...wanted to pick up where we left off 8 years ago, when he was single... I saw him once 3 months ago...and decided that I don't wanna be the "other woman".  Shot that fantasy all to hell! As much as I hated to admit it, especially after mother's psych issues...I went to a pdoc and was started on antidepressants. Which allow me to function most days. My dad is still drinking... My mom is still nuts...a severe hypochondriac...has severe problems medically which are probably the result from all of the psych drugs that she's been given through the years. She wants sympathy & support...she talks about nothing except her poor health. She's been to 10 different Dr's and gotten 10 different diagnosis...now she's currently mad at the Dr who she's been going to for the last 25 years and wants to find a new one!  Toxic families! I could write a book... Thanks for letting me vent today... By the Grace of God and the program of AA and NA...I'm still clean and sober today... and luckily so are my kids...they were 12 & 15 when I got sober...I talk to them about my addiction and anything they want to talk about. I try very hard not to say anything negative about their father, but if they need to talk I do discuss things with them. Mostly, I come here daily to find ES&H...I read all across the board. I don't post very often... I've learned so much from the ANONer's I know that I'm a work in progress... I just keep on trying to do the next right thing. Progress...not perfection!
__________________ There's no gram like the program |
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11-08-2006, 11:37 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: on a journey to nirvana
Posts: 142
| All over the place
Just like Mischki, I can fit in almost everywhere except the mensroom. I like to hit the Cafe. Laughing is one of the healthiest things you can do for your mind, soul and body.
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11-09-2006, 03:15 PM
| #17 (permalink) | |
| goin' to sane land............ Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Some dusty road?????
Posts: 456
| Quote:
__________________ Even PARANOID people have REAL enemies.........from a book I read somewhere in my 3rd yr rotation getting my master's degree....Kahlia | |
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