I was....

[Roxy88]

Lost, heartbroken, terrified, angry, bitter, fed up, controlling, maniputlative, hateful, full of resentments, regrets, and broken dreams and it was NOT MY FAULT!!! LOL

I just had my second misscariage a month before, my husband left me at the hospital to go get high. That was MY bottom!! Once I recovered physically from the misscariage I started researching ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I could find on addiction. I was going to fix him, I was not going to live like this way anymore!!!

I found SR in January of this year, I started posting about how horrible my life was and had been over the years, SR members welcomed me, listened, and suggested I started focusing on what I could control, ME!!! It took me a while but I started doing little things for myself, I read, and read, and read all the books I could get my hands on regarding MY recovery and it worked, I am in recovery!!

Some days are easy, some days are hard and some are REALLY hard but I have learned that tomorrow is another day, a better day if I choose to make it that way. Yup I have choices now, who would've thought?? Instead of feeling hopeless, I have hope!! I love myself again, I dont' throw things anymore! LOL

My heart doesn't hurt all the time anymore, I don't crack at the first sign of trouble. I cry less and laugh more. I am happy with myself.

I will be on recovery for the rest of my life, I will make mistakes, I will have more victories, there will probably be more hard times ahead, it's inevitable but I am ready for it, I will make through, I will be okay.

This site and the members on here have saved my life and I will be forever grateful. Thank you Jon for making this site, you truly have given us a miracle and thank you to all those SR members who have helped me become the person I am today.

Love & Hugs
Roxy (codie in recovery)