Legacy

I'm just curious.

What was your lifestyle like at the time?

What body changes did you see?

What are some of the great benefits from your newfound lifestyle?

For me:

I was drinking 15-20 beers a night. Eating process and fast food almost every night. I never actually remembered eating what I ate, as I typically did it blacked out. When I started drinking in 1996 I weighed about 150 LBSs. When I decided to change, I weighed nearly 300 pounds.

For body changes my face got less swollen, I have lost nearly 75 pounds, I'm much more agile, and I feel so much younger. Someone told me I look 10 years younger - they have no idea what changes I've made. Relearning sleep was tricky too. I feel like my brain forgot how to sleep.

The great benefits begin and end with sleep. I can't tell you how much I enjoy the sleep and what comes with it. That includes not waking up to a pounding headache, regret, wondering if I have liver cancer because of how sore I am, and so many others. I love waking up and heading to get a workout in prior to getting my work day started. I love tasting fresh coffee each morning. I just love staying up late at night to watch sports and not be hungover the next morning as a result. There is a lot to like.

But I like most of all reading this forum prior to sleeping each night. It helps me remember where I was, where I am, who I am, and where I'm going. It also reminds me to help provide support for others who are going through the same thing.

kj3880

I was firing a woman who had come to work high and they had given her a urinalysis, which she failed. I was given the task to fire her, and then drive her to her home where I met her children and her ill mother, whom she had to care for also. What an awful day. I was high at the time.

That was my moment of clarity. Now, seven years later, I'm so much happier. No more running around to find it, no more hiding it from everyone, no more being broke when I had a great income, no more feeling like a piece of cr@p. I have a great life, a side business selling my own art, and I've done my stepwork. I've made my amends.

Soberwolf

Glad your here Legacy

MIRecovery

I stopped walking towards death and started walking towards life

DoloresHaze

I'm not sure if you want the likes of me on this thread. I did have a refreshing stretch of sobriety going, and am now struggling to get back on track.

But let's be optimistic here. "Today" is where I was when I knew I can't play this game with alcohol anymore. I am terrified about my health. I'm in a constant state of anxiety. None of my life goals are being met because I'm too wrapped up in this crap to pursue them. My family thinks I'm a nut job, and my son, who is now 6, is starting to piece together that something bad is going on with Mommy. Everytime I look at his sweet face and see his innocence, the guilt is like a punch in the face.

Physical changes I experienced when sober: The tiny little veins on my face cleared up and I got my color back. I woke up early and ate breakfast. My tongue was pink with no gunk on it. GROSS i know. My teeth got whiter for some reason. I just felt "better" after about 2 weeks. And the best thing was...I had a sense of peace and accomplishment that radiated throughout myself physically and mentally.

jlf

used to run around and staying up late, the next morning with hang over didn't had any intention to do anything during the day till the night started all over again. finally that change and I don't have those body aches and headaches anymore and I am able to exercise regularly and feel great.

Bassmasters

I was in the slammer.

The prior few months had seen my liver inflame quite a bit, yet consumption continued to rise. I knew it couldn't last forever, but wasn't ready to accept the inevitable.

So I did as any good drunk would, and entered a situation which forced the play. Lights flashing, four guys to hold me down while a nurse sucked out my vital essence to test for how much funtimes I had been up to.

Yea, I had a blast, except for the not really growing up bit. Life is much smoother now, but wouldn't change a thing about any of the experiences I've had. Would not be here right now as I am, but then again, how might I have become? Oh well, not a bother, time to have even more fun, in a sober page, well onto this chapter.

OnMyWay7

Hum where "was" i. I was dealing with the end of my partner's treatment for stage 3 breast cancer and getting turned down for life insurance due to high liver enzymes. I finally realized that life really is too short and if I want to be there for myself and my kids I have to make a change.

I'm trying. Ready to make the difficult life changes to save myself.

PinkGstring

I noticed a lump in the palm of my hand (Dupuytreins contracture the specialist told me) It happens mainly in men that do manual labour, or alcoholics mainly of northern European decent and a celtic/Germanic background. Well I'm a woman so the last option applied to me I am Dutch so northern European with a Germanic background. And I am not doing manual labor.
If I had ever had my liver function tested? Coz this lump (scar tissue on the tendon of my left ringfinger) is directly related to the liver being damaged/ not functioning properly anf releasing too much alciline or something.

Stress, oops he knows! I ignored all signs and kept drinking, secretly very worried and crying out for help yet not brave enough to ask for help.

Later I ended up in hospital with chest pains again. Thank god no heart attack, they still dont know what it was, still doing tests.
Ended up at my GP she suggested a full blood test with liver function kidney, red bloodcell count, cholesterol etc etc
I could have easilly not done the test but I was very worried I knew my drinking was insane!! Average 12-18 bottles of full strenght beer a day and in the weekend about 24-30 on each day, not good for a woman.
Got blood results back. Liver very unhappy it is inflamed, cholesterol of 9.8! (should be 4) anemic malnourisged and the list goes on. I started crying.
There it was black on white the proof I was slowly killing myself!
I needed to change this, now!
She asked me what I wanted to do... I told her : quit! But I'm scared I can't do it! I've been addicted for 10 odd years of which the last 2 were insane!
I said I don't really have a choice do I?! I either go that way and dig my own grave and end up in it or I choose the other way and change it!
I told her that I was always worried I would OD one day and not wake up anymore!
She asked me if I was sure. Told her I was. She asked me when I wanted to start I said tomorrow she suggested Wednesdays cos that is when she is in town and she could prescribe Valium. I told her I did not want to wait that long.
She gave me the number of the detox clinic, if any withdrawal symptoms I would have to call them asap, which I did on Mondays. They checked me over, gave me valium. Damn that worked!
That night, Saturday, I drank as much as humanly possible 34 full strenght beer bottles woke up 4.30 pm on a Sunday, went cold turkey for one day. Been on Campral since day 11.

Trying3694

Wow. How much Valium and for how long before you Weiner off of it?

labgirl

I have decided to make a change and stop drinking many times over the last 12 months. Last month I reached out to a counselor. I was desperate for help. It was all I could do to get the words out. She immediately told me she wasn't an addition specialist and would refer me for outpatient rehab. I was terrified. I begged her to help me find another solution but she had no ideas. I went ahead and placed my name with the rehab clinic expecting a call the next morning when their staff arrived. I wrestled with the idea of rehab all night, steeling myself for the phone call and how to handle it. Well they never called me. Boy was I relieved. I convinced myself I can do this myself. Then of course something else happened, caused me stress, to feel lonely, to feel ugly, to feel worthless and useless and I drank again. When I drink I slam them back. I am obviously drinking to leave reality. This is my pattern; a couple of 6 oz tumblers of vodka or rum and shortly thereafter I'm passed out, not remember anything that happened after the 2nd tumbler. Finally, last week went in for a physical and finally got the guts to speak with the dr about my problem (alcohol). She was compassionate and recommended a solution that I felt would work for me. I'm making an appointment for a psychiatrist next week. I've been thinking about this all weekend. Today I decided to look on line one more time for some help, I'm desparate. That's when I found SR. I'm praying that I'll have the courage and strength to use this site to overcome this demon.

ChloeB

It was August 23, 2013 and I had been sober only hours....I was 48 years old and had been drinking since at least 13 years old. I drank every minute of every day that I could...If I wasn't sleeping or working I was drinking or thinking about the next drink or planning something that involved drinking. I didn't know where to turn so I got online and found SR. This site not only helped me but I have been given a chance at life...I went through about a week of nonstop chatting with others here and attended online meetings and just surrendered the only way I could. After several different people here offered advice to me (AA, read the Big Book, etc) I went through my detox here at SR... I was shaking and couldn't sleep the entire first week...Then I attended my first AA meeting - face to face with other people just like me..Other people like the ones I had "met" here that just plain get it. I remained here for just a few months for many reasons but the main reason was the computer issues I was having and I was very dedicated to attending AA meetings and now..here I am almost 20 months sober. I have been receiving emails from SR for the entire time but just recently got a new laptop and decided to get back on here. I owe SR more than I could ever repay for helping me to get sober and helping me to find ways to stay sober. I want to give back what was so freely given to me. I have today...another 24 hours of beautiful sobriety and if this drunk can do it anyone can. Thank you for letting me share..

RawiriJames

It was the morning after my last night of drinking.

I woke up late for work (having lost my phone the night before and not having an alarm) and sprinted for the bathroom to take a shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. From the neck to my feet, covered in cuts as the punishment I dished out several hours earlier because I had failed to kill myself twice.

I had no idea I was an alcoholic at this point. I did know two things. 1) I was insane. And 2) I didn't want to die... not sober, anyway.

That was nearly 10 months ago and its the only 10 months of sobriety I've ever had since I first picked up at the age of 13.

I have freedom - I didn't before. I have more honesty, more friends, more money, more choices in my life. I'm a better brother, son, mate, colleague and lover because one day at a frickin' time, I'm sober.

JaneLane

I'm 27 years old and have been drinking since I was 14. I had had periods of sobriety but this week I had a slip with a drink but thankfully ended up pouring the rest down the drain and giving away every bottle of alcohol I had in the house. I simply hadn't been taking my sobriety seriously.

Anyway, I lost my job, lost my self esteem, I was piling junk food into my body or going a full day without eating a thing. I was "watching" (passing out) daytime tv, not leaving the house, lying, the dark circles under my eyes have been much more pronounced and I was terrified of the health effects of the drinking. My anxiety has been out of control and my anti depressants haven't been effective due to the alcohol.

So, since stopping drinking, it's too early for the dark circles to lighten but my skin is already less puffy, I am no longer so bloated around my stomach, for every hour I lie in bed anxious and unable to sleep I count my blessings that I made this choice. I am reading a lot more, I remember every conversation, I'm back to preparing my delicious vegan homemade meals, I'm taking my vitamins, i feel more energetic in the mornings (despite needing a nap in the afternoons!) and I have a recovery plan in place.

I don't feel great physically right now, and even though my anxiety is very up and down, I understand why and know that I need to be careful with myself. And for that realisation alone I'm really grateful.


Also, thanks for sharing your experiences everyone. I just spent a while reading them and they're so inspiring.

egreen

The only thing that changes anyone, is pain. If there is no pain, there is no reason to change. I look around at the homeless population of different cities, I can see it in their eyes, the way they walk. Once they have lost hope, nothing can be done. Its alright to dream, but remember those are just dreams. To make a decision without any action, nothing will be done. It would be like in the old days of drinking and sitting at the bar making grand schemes and grand plans and doing absolutely nothing about it and just asking for another 100 beers or asking for 100 more joints.

Change is done each and every day. Somedays I choose to change my work out routine, or I will change the place I go to eat. I might change the route I drive to work. Body image I dont really look at I am confident in myself. But if I were to hazard a guess, I would say I was overweight and obese before I started to work out and eat healthy. After I got a routine and stuck to it, without flaking out I became more healthy for sure. With that everything out straightens out, mentally, physically, spiritually.

amandamarie

6 months ago I promised my boyfriend that I would stop drinking, but after sneaking around for months I came home wasted. I had been drinking with my dad since 1pm then at the bar for awhile and it was 10 pm before I quit and went home. He called me out on it, and it turned bad fast. Before I knew it I was in my bra and underwear outside screaming and trying to rip him out of the car so he wouldn't leave. I woke up the next morning to see him with scratches on his neck, and a black eye. I barely remembered what I did. All I knew was I got "barred" for being a jerk, and my boyfriend was ready to call it quits after over 3 years. To top it off the neighbors saw ever bit of it. I was humiliated, and realized I am not me when I drink. I knew enough was enough. Now I am spending more time with my daughter, and my boyfriend, and less time lying and trying kepp my story straight. Life is so much simpler now and I love it.

Opivotal

Good for you, amandamarie. Happy to hear you're spending more time with your daughter.

bigsombrero

I had quit my job and had been unemployed for over a year, drinking full time was my job during that time. Vodka to start the day, I used to mix in a little with OJ or cranberry juice but by the end I was mixing it with just a little soda water and a piece of lemon or lime. At 8am. This was so that I could steady my hands, the shakes were so bad that I had a hard time writing properly. I had such a high need for alcohol, that if I did not get my fix I broke down into seizures. My last seizure I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and my old father had to come and pick me up. I was in bad, bad shape. Went to a bare-bones rehab facility, not sure what to expect. Somehow made it through the first few weeks out of rehab without drinking and then I dug my heels into sobriety.

At 3+ years sober I'm in the best shape I've been since a teenager. I look good, got my mental confidence back after a year or so. I moved to a new country. I have a cool job, a nice place to live, a girlfriend and a truck. How great is that? I am currently enjoying a weekend in Mexico before I jet back south to Guatemala on Monday. Life's so much more interesting these days. I try not to re-hash the "dark days" too much, as I prefer looking at what's in front of me to what's in the rear view mirror. But, as a poster mentioned above, it's important to remember what got us here.

Opivotal

I'm so happy for you bigsombrero!

Congratulations on 3 plus years!!

Thank you for posting.