mzsquishiness

I joined just yesterday. I was feeling a bit confused and bored. Confused at how to deal with things and bored because I have been so used to time passing quickly...mainly a blur that I could not remember.
I wanted to talk about things. I need to talk about things.
Im scared that I will give up any day and go back into a state of denial where Id tell myself Im fine as long as i can get up each morning and go to work.
I was far from fine. I was in a state of shame and self-hatred. Punishing myself...for not being the best I could be. I became a recluse. I lashed out at people. I was becoming the one thing i know Im not ...and never wanted to be. Ive been selfish and nasty!
I have so much more I could say...but i'll leave it at that.

Opivotal

Welcome mzsquishiness!

I'm so happy you found us. Please check out the Chat Room and use the forums to talk all you want. Many here can relate to exactly what you're going through.

mejo

I joined yesterday too! Probably because of the same reasons, just on the other side of the addiction as the enabler. Keep your chin up. It is a beautiful day today.

SouthernBe11e

Welcome, mzsquishiness!

I struggle with those feelings as well. I hope you stick around and share with us.

Dee74

I'm glad you joined us Nikki and mejo - support and understanding really help

D

flujays

welcome to the clan. its not a group i wanted to be a part of but I'm sure glad I'm not alone in this, and neither are you. Our disease isolates us from everyone, makes us reclusive and strips us of everything we hold dear. It is a chronic, fatal, incurable disease, but we can arrest it, one day at a time, with love, support and understanding you can get through this.