Awake at Last

[ladybug77]

The day I stumbled across SR (March 17) I had just been released from 8 hours in jail. I spent those 8 hours sitting on a concrete bench trying to figure out how I got there. When had my life spiraled so far out of control? I still haven't really answered that one. I have time to search it out. I did realize I had no one to blame for my circumstances but myself. I have had many wake-up calls but I just kept hitting the snooze button. I felt the loss of control coming on and had already scheduled an appointment with my psychiatrist for Monday morning to discuss it with her. I came back to this site on March 18, and browsed around then I registered. I have found good people here who have stood where I am standing. I have always believed everything happens for a reason. When I went on Monday to my psychiatrist she had been called away on an emergency. I literally fell apart at that moment. There was another doctor there who agreed to talk to me until I calmed down. It turned out he was the husband of my psychiatrist and a substance abuse counselor. I am working with him bi-weekly and I have this site to help get me from appointment to appointment. It has been an expensive wake-up call financially but I'll make it through. On an emotional level it has been priceless to finally evaluate myself openly and honestly. Truth hurts and pride is hard to swallow. But I have found a home here and grateful it exists.