Recovery-Recovered?

[bblackbirdflyy]

Cool Miss Margo! Welcome. I am early in recovery and this forum has been key for me in maintaing my sobriety. I have not been working a 12 step program yet but I would like to attend some meetings to make some friends! looking forward to "seeing" you around!

[onlythetruth]

missmargo: My suspicion is that there is a fairly large number of people who used AA to assist them in early sobriety and who have moved on--and the alternative programs typically do not expect participation for more than a year or two.

For myself, I can say that I don't find a recovery program necessary anymore, although I choose to participate in SMART Recovery because of my desire to help the next guy. But there is a lot of life to be had outside of "recovery" and there's nothing wrong with living it.

[Dee74]

Welcome to SR missmargo916

I'm not an AAer, but like you I've been sober over 4 years.

I still feel I need to do something for my recovery every day - not necessarily becase I need to, but I want to - I love the life I've built for myself

Good to have you with us

D

[Redmayne]

Somewhere in the 'Big Book', I think, no doubt there are those who'll correct me... there's a passage that starts,'to return to a society that once rejected us', I also take note of the passage in the BB, 4th Ed.on page 275, 'the Key to the Kingdom' somethingto the efffect,'A.A. is not something that is over and done with' loosely interpreted as what you learn from the book and A.A. meetings, rather than a directive to be interpreted that as being written in stone, condemning each individual to a cycle of A.A. meetings, religiously practised for the rest of their lives, it is a way of life, that's all,here to help not condemn, to think otherwise is foolish and serves no purpose.

I interpret this as a means to an end, practically I gave up attending AA meetings years ago, however I still attempt, on a daily basis to make ,'spiritual progress' based on what I learned from the 12 Step programme and those other spiritual matters that have both enhanced and added to them, e.g. adherence to fundemental Buddhist principles, now plays a large part in my life, we each have our own path.

My advice, choose yours, it's fun to explore and make spiritual progress using your time in A.A meetings, what you've learned from the 12 Steps, etc. as a base to progress, abandoning spirituality often leads to the individual concerned becoming a'dry drunk', it doesn't take to long before the 'dry' disappears either..

'A society (or individual, my words) that forgets where it came from, destroys itself' Carl Sandburg...

[Redmayne]

A few additional words...to me 'recovery or sobriety is about living is about expanding your horizons, if the priginal purpose of the first 100 who ,in effect, wrote the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous' was to condemn its readers to a life of monotonous attendance at A.A. meetings whilst religiously, note not spiritually, pursuing adherence to the suggested 12 Steps I doubt that any of us would be here.

It is simply a 'way of life' incorporating 'spirituality' as a component part of it, this, to the individuals choice, like life itself can be added to and enhanced, but never mislaid or forgotten but part of it...something that makes living worthwhile and perhaps does,'restore us to a society that once rejected' us, just my view, I'm sure others will have theirs, as much as I'm sure they will all contain constructive comment.

[Dee74]

you'll find a link to SMART in here margo

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html (Recovery Programs and Resources Information)

D

[Redmayne]

In my daily prayers and meditation I include a prayer of forgiveness for those who've harmed me in the past, based on the idea that you should forgive those who've harmed you but you do not have to forgive their actions towards you, which I see as signposts guiding me towards love of the god of my understanding and all that love encompasses...

I take the same view of both the book and the fellowship of A.A., jointly they provided me with the opportunity to become sober whilst learning to understand and develop my spirituality, affording me to make spiritual progress in those areas that suited me, which allows great flexibility and creativity in all of us as this is a 'selfish' programme, e.g. it is aimed at the individual , and we all have our own paths to follow, enhanced by taking an ecunemical approach in which we can enrich each other by using the three great spiritual values, compassion, patience and tolerance...

[steelmagnolia]

when i was in treatment..there was a phrase....take what you need and leave the rest. this made super sense to me. some of the things they threw out...did not really apply. i think by now...you know your own danger zones. i hope that you will continue to take the portion of the program that rings true for you....and leave the rest. best of luck...always

[XbrenbrenX]

Originally Posted by missmargo916

I found this forum while searching topics online about 12-step programs and whether or not they were necessary for sobriety. I have been sober over 4 years and I have lost my passion for the 12-step program with which I've been a part of for over 5 years. I have what I believe to be quality sobriety. My life has improved exponentially since I started a program and have been able to put together many days and years of sobriety. I have worked the steps and for almost 4 years, I attended at least 4 meetings a week with very strong sponsorship and structured sobriety.

I have come to a point in my life and my recovery where I question whether this level of structure is needed for me to continue this life. I have felt as if my "program" has dominated my life and I would like to have more time to do the things I've never been able to do before. I spent all my free time drinking and using for many years... now I spend all my free time related to my program.

I found this forum and would like to still be able to share things with people suffering from alcoholism and addiction without being pressured to reserve most of my time working a program. I would like to take what I have learned and use it out in the world while staying sober. I noticed that there are others on this forum that are like-minded and with the same experience. My husband is still working a strong program. I support him but choose another avenue for myself... at least for the time being.

Look forward to getting to know all of you in the future!
Margo

i have met a lot of people with 7, 10, 12, 25, 44 years in recovery. they all, to a person say the same thing: they are still in recovery, and they work their program every day.

my two cents
bren

[langkah]

Good for you, missmargo. I'm one who feels AA would help many more people if those whose hearts are not in it for any reason would all just stop attending.

Kudos for choosing another direction.

[Charon]

Though I don't think we ever are "recovered" I don't think one must continue to go to AA meetings forever. Once you have established the necessary changes in your perceptions, reactions, emotions, attitudes (and on and on) and keep working on that and always remember (daily) that you cannot control alcohol (or DOC) you are good to go. The problem that many of us have is that it's easy to fall back into old ways of thinking and easy to forget that we are alcoholics - so a meeting here and there serves to remind and keep it fresh.

[Redmayne]

I couldn't agree more with the original poster's thread, 'spirituality' cannot be taught, it is learned through experience.

The 12 Steps are a suggested programme of recovery, the worked for me and goodness knows how many others, wonderful.

In doing so we make or seek, 'spiritual progress' and lay no claim to 'spiritual perfection' for it is not ours to make.

If our lives then are to progress,in 'recovery' this has to be built on, allowing for a certain amount of flexibilty, a quality without which nothing grows or flourishes. Look around you.

It is correct, as Carl Sandburg said,'that a society (or individual, my words) that forgets where it comes from, destroys itself' , however a society or individual that nurtures a new direction,and builds on that, in a positive manner, not only grows stronger but opens up new opportunities from which knowledge can be gained to help others, less fortunate. It's called, progress.

[XbrenbrenX]

Originally Posted by Charon

Though I don't think we ever are "recovered" I don't think one must continue to go to AA meetings forever. Once you have established the necessary changes in your perceptions, reactions, emotions, attitudes (and on and on) and keep working on that and always remember (daily) that you cannot control alcohol (or DOC) you are good to go. The problem that many of us have is that it's easy to fall back into old ways of thinking and easy to forget that we are alcoholics - so a meeting here and there serves to remind and keep it fresh.

well, i suppose that works for some people, but from what i've heard from people with decades of AA is that step 12, giving back what you got, is critical. and for a lot of them that involves continued participation in the program.

bren

[Charon]

Originally Posted by XbrenbrenX

... what i've heard from people with decades of AA is that step 12, giving back what you got, is critical. and for a lot of them that involves continued participation in the program.

bren,

You don't think that posting here is giving back?

[XbrenbrenX]

Originally Posted by Charon

bren,

You don't think that posting here is giving back?

i didn't say that, you did

but giving back in person, by sponsoring someone, kicking them in the ass when they need it, that's pretty important too.

[Charon]

Originally Posted by XbrenbrenX

... but giving back in person, by sponsoring someone, kicking them in the ass when they need it, that's pretty important too.

No argument here. I actually go to a lot (almost every day) of meetings - not so much for the AA - more to talk to others who understand what I'm going through.

[sugarbear1]

are you working the steps with a sponsor or are you only there at meetings to try to stay sober?

[Charon]

Don't believe in "God" and a sponser is supposed to be your spiritual guide. Having one would only lead to arguments so no and no. I go to meetings to listen, be reminded, and talk to others who understand.

[SteppingItUp]

I've come to know hundreds of alcoholics and addicts face to face, traveling around the world, and I have never, ever actually met a real alcoholic who has stopped actively participating in AA/NA/CA who says that they are so much better off without it.

Of course we can carry the message to alcoholics everywhere -- my book tells me to go out and find them. But if I am leaving, am I doing myself a service or them a disservice? Is it not my role to fit myself to be of maximum service to God and my fellows by doing the best I can to stay spiritually fit? I read that my function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness, and that it should continue for my lifetime.

I don't think AA just means AA meetings in any way -- the program of recovery is written in the Big Book in our directions for the steps -- but I must admit that making the conscious decision to walk away feels like whistling in the dark. Untreated, we have a mind that will always try to lead us back to a drink.

Maybe you would want to consider having a good talk with God and some people that love you about this one. Perhaps you might consider if you just need to start over, do the steps again, work with someone new, and re-prioritize. Because of the real alcoholics I've actually known to "outgrow AA," I've seen three results:

1) They come back hurting.

2) They're out there drinking.

3) They're dead.

A bridge to normal living -- I completely agree. But do I need to leave to do that?

i wish you all the best, no matter what road you take.

Ask God. Look in your heart.

[onlythetruth]

Originally Posted by SteppingItUp

I've come to know hundreds of alcoholics and addicts face to face, traveling around the world, and I have never, ever actually met a real alcoholic who has stopped actively participating in AA/NA/CA who says that they are so much better off without it.

Now you've met one. I have found my life to be much better since I left AA.