What I don't miss. . . . . . .

[43395]

The Sobrety Calendar tells me that, 616 days have now passed since I my sober recovery commenced, something, in my case I never expected to happen so I got to thinking about a couple of the things I don't miss,

I don't miss staring at that pool of clear, blue water seconds before the first bout of reverse parasolsis hits and I vomit into the toilet bowl!

I don't miss the fact that now when my lips move it is more than likely I am actually telling the truth.

I don't miss the fear that arose when I'm driving my car every time a police car hoves into view.

What I like is enlarging my spiritual existence, particularly when I sit still in the morning with my first cup of tea, smoke a cigarette and know where I slept last night, even if it is now on my own because now I'm learning to like me and if I like me, other people will like me to.Michael.

[StayinAlive]

Congrats!

good idea because its easy to forget and convince yourself you can have just one

but yes there is lot i don't miss.....like everything!

But now i only try to remember if i get silly thoughts that maybe now after two years one drink would be OK

[dan1957]

I don't miss it either. everytime I wank to drink I run through my list of reasons not to. getting arrested, dwindling bank account, loss of mental and physical health, watching my mother die of liver failure, my last drunk on my knees vomiting, and letting down my loved ones who want me to stop. 39 days, one at a time. thank you. best regards to all.

[tallcactus]

Good post Michael!
Congratulations.

[caleb76]

Great post Michael. Are you in AA?

[least]

I don't miss the hiding of alcohol and the lying to my kids about it.

[43395]

I went to AA in my country 25 years ago, quite frankly it was about as useless as the guy who took me, no communication, I persevered on and off for another 23 years, it still produced the same answer,you don't get sober sitting at AA meetings, it just doesn't work. In my case I educated myself , books, tapes, CD's especially a collection of 10, made at a,'Big Book' study, not AA over a weekend, run by Charlie.P and Joe handed to me at a meeting by a guy who has been sober 20 years or more. he still goes to a meeting everyday, but that's all he does in that respect, his sobriety came from taking the 12 suggested steps. Personally I heartily endorse,'The Doctor's Opinion', the first 164 pages and my favourite story,'The Keys Of the Kingdom'
I 'paid my dues' at AA meetings,washed up, laid chairs out, even helped one or two people but in this country they,'go through the motions' and the God of my understanding, helps those who help themselves.

[feprincess]

Is forgetting if I remembered to put a fifth in my purse before I left for work.

[Found]

Originally Posted by 43395

I went to AA in my country 25 years ago, quite frankly it was about as useless as the guy who took me, no communication, I persevered on and off for another 23 years, it still produced the same answer,you don't get sober sitting at AA meetings, it just doesn't work. In my case I educated myself , books, tapes, CD's especially a collection of 10, made at a,'Big Book' study, not AA over a weekend, run by Charlie.P and Joe handed to me at a meeting by a guy who has been sober 20 years or more. he still goes to a meeting everyday, but that's all he does in that respect, his sobriety came from taking the 12 suggested steps. Personally I heartily endorse,'The Doctor's Opinion', the first 164 pages and my favourite story,'The Keys Of the Kingdom'
I 'paid my dues' at AA meetings,washed up, laid chairs out, even helped one or two people but in this country they,'go through the motions' and the God of my understanding, helps those who help themselves.

I know what you mean, Charlie & Joe have helped me through their materials too - through people at AA.

[AfterForever]

Awesome post!!

[43395]

A simple truth, most people see the world as they want it to be, a few see the world as it really is and still manage to live their lives in it.

The latter practise compassion, patience and tolerance.

What this has got to do with the fact that one of the things I don't miss, is finding a curved bruise on the back of my head that exactly fits the shape of my toilet seat is something I'm going to have to work on. Mike W.

[Ainslie]

I dont miss looking at my phone and realising my Dad had called while I was off my head and wondering what the hell I said to him.

Or waking up with bruises and wondering if I fell over or got into a fight while blacked out.

The walk of shame......

[mikefreak]

The dreaded question I got through out the years 'from co-workers ,relatives, Bosses, the wife., the kids, & everyone in between: " have you BEEN DRINKING?"
Pounding the counter top at the neighborhood convinence store, yelling obscene word's at the top of my lungs because I missed the alcohol selling cut-off time by five minutes.
A houseful of smoke because I passed out & burned something in the oven.
The horrible acid indigestion, which for SOME reason, has disappeared.
Finding someplace to hide at work where I could sleep on the floor.
Gulping 4-5 shots of wild Turkey at 4:30 in the morning before going TO WORK to relieve the hangover from Hell.
The things I saw crawling on the floor out of the corner of my eyes.

[personalised]

I can never miss anything but probably they may be few which i had been missed but never bothered...

[Carol Star]

I don't miss having to go find the junk I wanted to use,paying all that $,the broken veins on my face from drinking, the gross lungs from smoking weed, being a prisoner to it, all the whacky emotions,not getting anything done, the upset stomach,the loose morals and values, and my lost connection to HP. By the Grace of God go I. A Miracle!

[Ainslie]

Almost forgot, the UPSET STOMACH! I sure dont miss that!

[least]

I don't miss the shame, the shakes, the waking up in the middle of thenight and having to drink away the withdrawal. I don't miss the lying, the money spent, the being first in line when the booze store opened at 8am. I don't miss any of that crap.

[CStyle]

I don't miss the incomprehensible demoralization. I don't miss the constant chaos and insanity. I don't miss the cold hard floor of a jail cell. I don't miss the suicidal thoughts. I don't miss feeling alone (even when I was with a group of people). I don't miss my morning vomiting sessions just so I could keep a beer down. I don't miss the fear. I don't miss not having a place to call home or a bed to sleep in. Now the only thing I use recycling bins for is to recycle stuff.

[nelco]

I 'paid my dues' at AA meetings

I hope to never say that. I am very grateful to be a part of a wonderful fellowship.. lucky me. I am helping 5 people through the steps at the moment and passing on all that was gave to me. Lord it keeps me so full of love, I am learning more each day about love and a spiritual way of living.

I dont miss that phone off the hook or the fear of the "unknown"

[CStyle]

^^^^^^
+1

Originally Posted by 43395

I 'paid my dues' at AA meetings

Perhaps you missed this part.
From the AA preamble-

"The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety."

[jgull2010]

I don't miss the fear that always surrounded me. Fear that I couldn't control myself. Fear I could not resist going out to buy more booze. Fear of police, fear of friends, fear of myself, fear of life itself.

I don't have to fear now. What a glorious feeling it is to start each day with a smile, hope, and enthusiasm.

J.

[Helene]

What a great post! I loved all the "I don`t miss" s.

I don`t miss:
Standing in the shower in the morning and groaning to myself because I feel horribly ashamed but can`t quite remember what I have done but can remember brief flashes of things, all of which make me cringe.
Counting all the bruises in the morning.
The shocking hangover everyday.
The feeling somehow at work that I was like a kid wearing my mom`s high heels and I didn`t deserve to be where I was because I was wasted every single night, even though I was high functioning in the day (or so I THOUGHT)
The inability to get anything done.
The lack of time I always seemed to have (I have SO much more time now!)
The inability to make any arrangements in the evening or answer my phone in the evenings because I was too drunk or stoned at least an hour after getting home.
The Acid indigestion, upset stomach and vomiting.
All the rubbish I used to eat and not remember eating it.
Not brushing my teeth before "going to bed" (passing out more like it!)
Waking up at 4AM feeling like death and unable to go back to sleep. Wanting to go get another drink but knowing I have to go to work in a few hours.
The horrible bad moods and screaming at everyone in my house in the mornings.
All the fears and resentments that are leaving me as I work my programme.

Those are most of the things I DON`T miss....phew, by the grace of God go I. I am so grateful to be sober.

[nogard]

Thanks and I sure dont miss coming to feeling sick and used up, busted disgusten dand not to be trusted. Dont miss crawling around getting codeine and efferdrine into so I could go get enough booze to wipe me out when I woudl wake the next morning....

I love waking up, feeling so clear headed and light, with a full day ahead of me.

Thanks NA

[43395]

When I said,'I paid my dues' at AA meetings I was talking metaphorically. NOT practically.

[jane_668]

Thanks Michael for starting this thread.

I dont miss waking up with bruises next day feeling ashamed.
I dont miss trading my body for drugs even if it was my ex-bf.
I dont miss getting home drunk and high.
I dont miss the chaous and mess in my life.
I dont miss the lonliness and isolation.
I dont miss the pity-party and feeling sorry for myself.
I dont miss the hopsital visits and OD's.
I dont miss the look of disgust in my boss's eyes.
I dont miss the nasty withdrawals and the pain of promising myself not to ever use again only to use the very next day.
I dont miss nodding on my desk at work with employees looking at me like I was a freak.
I dont miss the constant worries.
I dont miss the low self esteem and feeling of worthlessness.