least

I don't miss going thru life 'half there' and irresponsible. I don't miss the shoddy care I gave my dogs. I don't miss the guilt I'd always feel for being such an idiot. I don't miss the carelessness and danger of my existance.

Bellerophon

I don't miss wondering to what extent I am getting pancreatic cancer. Or cirrhosis of the liver. Or teaching my kids that alcohol every night is normal or OK. Or alienating my perfect wife or endangering my perfect life.

I don't miss wondering if the extra drink put me over the legal limit. I don't miss the headache I would get from stopping drinking too early in the evening. I don't miss the inexplicable coughing and gagging in the morning.

Indon't miss being unable to drive my kids to the iced cream sop on a Saturday night.

meblonde

I don't miss waking up to a beautiful morning and saying, " God you gave me this beautiful morning and I ruined it" Because I was to hung over to appreicate it. Now I wake up and say," thank your for this beauitful morning, I enjoy it and give thanks for another morning not hung over.
Going to bed."sober" end of day 4.
~hugs~Good night.

Bellerophon

This is my first Sunday morning without the after affects of drinking the night before...in months. It doesn't seem much different other than generally feeling less groggy. It is weird that a beautifully sober morning seems so rare when actually a "hungover" morning should be. That is why I am an alcoholic.

I love my weekend naps but I won't miss needing one to "catch up".

Is there any HFA out there who has never hit bottom or otherwise had a significantly negative consequence? Anyone? OK, I get that I am no different but who out there is like I am?

meblonde

Happy Sunday!!!!

HoldinOn

I don't miss:
the stares
the unknown (although I was there)
the morning afters
the sneaking around
the worrying what I did
finding the empties that I 'hid'
not seeing my family.

But it takes work for me. A lot of it.

Nick.

meblonde

I don't miss wondering if I should or shouldn't have a drink.. NOT!

Stang

Beer farts!!!!

DISGUSTING......GAG A MAGGOT!

LeanaJo

Things I don't miss when I was drinking:

1. Going to bars and hearing the rumors/gossip about me.

2. Bartenders giving me that "God, I hate serving her" kind of look when I came in(the ones that knew me from coming to their bars every weekend) and treating me like crap (never saying hello or anything).

3. Throwing up and having the shakes in the morning (not being able to get out of bed).

4. Bad diet (barely eating. When I did, it was nothing but junk food).

5. Having huge arguments with my husband when I came home from drinking on a weekend.

6. Winding up in jail (I only have 1 time, last year, but it was scary for me).

7. Blackouts (I started blacking out every time I drank in the last 7 years of my drinking).

8. Not having real friends (people that I saw at the bars and drank with or would buy me drinks, were only acquaintenances. Not real friends. They only liked me when I drank).

9. Dressing in skimpy clothes anymore (I used to wear real short skirts, low cut shirts, and very tight jeans when I went out to drink. My way of flirting with a man to buy my drinks without having to say a word. That was bad!!).

louloulou

Kneeling on all fours in the shower to throw up every morning. The feeling of utter despair when the wine bottle neared empty. Always having to pay the most in restaurants. The hellish hellish hellish hangovers. Codeine withdrawals. Vomiting out of my bedroom window. The booze bill always doubling the food bill in restaurants. Chewing endless amounts of gum to avoid smelling like a brewery. Drinking at work. The subsequent risk. Really not caring. The dizzying heights of glamour - using a champagne bucket as a vomit receptacle. The unforgettable taste of three bottles of wine bought for a tenner. Waking up from a blackout and not being able to remember the name of the girl with me even though she was my best friend. Difficult decisions made when drunk. Only being concerned with when my next drink would be. Using the toilets in Morrisons to empty a bottle of water and fill it with wine. The electric blue junkie lighting. The smell of stale urine. Having to stop to take deep breaths to quell the heaving. Never paying bills. Trying really really hard to drink my way out of lethargy. The day I was in so much pain I couldn't open my eyelids. The drunken text messages. The drunken phone calls. The drunken Facebook messages. Paying any amount for a drink regardless of my bank balance. Deciding to take up jogging - only to jog to the supermarket to buy wine. Being really really irritable without a drink. Having all the worries in the world; having no worries in the world. Sweating alcohol and the accompanying yeast smell. Puffy eyes and red skin. Waking up and thinking 'oh god...' every single morning. Never having money for anything but always having money for alcohol. Having to stop off at Wetherspoons to down a few double vodkas just to get to the supermarket. Paying for cabs home because I was too drunk to walk. The look people give you when they just know that bottle doesn't really contain juice. Clothes covered in stains. Friends thinking that a bottle of wine is an ideal birthday present. Pretending to be sober. Attempting to get into the wrong house at 4am. Getting a busy tube at 8am in the height of withdrawal. Relentlessly pursuing free booze. That conversation we had about the future of our relationship which I couldn't remember the next morning but had to pretend I did... The tantrums. The screaming fits. The endless tears. Drinking around children and really hoping they didn't mistake my 'orange juice' with theirs. Everything being pointless. Having to steal the trolley from the supermarket to get the alcohol home because it was just too heavy. The self-destruct button. The drunken smoking and the resultant sore throat and banging headache. Buying everyone a drink because I wanted one and didn't want to look like I had a problem. Begging for help when drunk and completely denying it when sober. Daily cravings for lemonade. Making plans to see people I had no intention of seeing when drunk and having to come up with excuses to get out of it when sober. The 750 calories per bottle of wine. Friendships based on my admiration for drinking abilities rather than anything else. Filling the inner emptiness with five 99p cheeseburgers from McDonalds at a time. Drinking alone in the park in full view of all the yummy mummies. Waiting for waitresses to bring my drink. Four am thirst/ vomit induced wake ups. Drinking through withdrawals. Usually at work. Choosing drinks based on their alcohol content rather than their taste. Being the resident drunk. Three days worth of alcohol lasting one evening. Buying really bad wine from the corner shop in desperation after the supermarkets had closed. Not eating because it would lessen the effects of the alcohol. Eating complete junk when hungover. Cold sores. The inner maternal voice that my brain switched on in times of desperation - 'now go downstairs, very slowly, and drink some water. That's a good girl...'. Colleagues thinking I must have had a really good night out when actually I'd been drinking in front of the TV. The look the shopkeeper gave me every time I bought a bottle at lunchtime. Replacing my various flatmates' good quality alcohol with cheap and nasty supermarket own brands before they realised I'd been drinking it. Again. Singing karaoke with my two bosses. The amount of perfume I used trying to mask the smell. Not bothering with the GP, the dentist or the optician. Sticky floors toilets I would never even contemplate using when sober. Being so hungover all the time that it became normality. The ringing of the bell for last orders and the feeling of panic. The night bus home full of fellow drunks.

JokersGirl

being sick and tired and cant get out of bed without a line

running out and cant get any more and calling all over

being at the mercy of whoever my dealer was at the time

crashing

trying to commit suicide

feeling alone and like no one will understand me and hopeless. wishing to die.

pretending to have slept, crawling in bed early before the sun comes up and hearing birds.

hallucinating

lying, and having my friends lie and steal. watching good people become gutter trash

smoking too much dope and thinking i was going to have a heart attack and saying please i will be good oh please dont let me die....and then having another hit when it starts to wear off

looking like a skinny pale bug eyed dead thing

crying but so dehydrated there are no tears

Chloe03

I don't miss...

being in denial about my drinking problem

having people tell me that I was really drunk the night before

wondering what "really" drunk meant... what did i do? what did i say?

spending entirely too much money on booze

waking up after a binge and wondering how many days it would take for me to recover (1...2..3???)

the total lack of self-respect

Sobriety Rocks!!!

Mammyof3boys

Thank you for all your posts. I am finding a piece of myself in everyone of them and you are all reminding me why I am here and why I am sober today. I am really thankful for the immediate strength I find in SR to help me make it through the day. When I feel a weakness or desire for alcohol, I come and read more. I am so happy to be here.

kojo

I don't miss:
the hangovers
drinking in the morning to improve said hangovers
seeing things move out of the corner of my eyes
hiding my drinking
the drunken phone calls/ emails/ messages
the anxiety that I am going to die from liver/pancreatic/other cancer
waking up every 2 hours after drinking and being exhausted the next day
constant dehydration, headache, upset stomach, diarrhea, shakiness, puffy face
having no motivation or energy to do anything else
being able to hear myself slur when trying desperately to appear sober
eating junk food while drinking and feeling fat the next day
passing out in my clothes and not brushing my teeth every night
not having any energy left to exercise
saying no to social activities because I want to stay at home, by myself, and get wasted
the hopelessness
the suicidal thoughts
the weight gain
the acid reflux
waking up with a racing heart and having hot flushes/ sweating
the memory problems
the feeling that nothing is ever going to change
sneaking drinks in the bathroom /in public toilets/ in my car
fear that I will get a DUI and lose my job as a result
trying to get work done while drunk or hungover
letting other people down
letting myself down and feeling like a failure

Redmayne

One of the things that I enjoy about this thread, is the constant reminders of what it was like in my drinking days, it's so easy in sobriety to become complacent. Somewhere in the 'Big Book', it says,'remember we must be ever vigilant, for we deal with alcoholol, cunning, baffling powerful!' Threads like this are the perfect antidote to that complacency, thank you.

Lovelife27

Awesome post!

I don't miss being drunk at work and wondering if everyone could tell
I don't miss vomiting so hard I tore a blood vessel in my throat
I don't miss not remembering what I did the night before
I don't miss feeling so sick and ashamed of myself, but forcing myself to drink anyway
I don't miss the constant health scares...wondering if I was having a heart attack or if the pain under my ribs was liver disease
I don't miss waking up at 3 in the morning with a dry mouth and pounding heart
I don't miss wondering what the hell I said in phone conversations I don't remember having
I don't miss lying through my teeth
I don't miss the denial
I don't miss the hopelessness

I LOVE waking up with a clear mind, remembering exactly what I did the night before, and not having done one single thing I was ashamed of.

CBR

Wow that was soooo powerful
I related to everything you wrote.
I will be a copy cat and make a list of my own tomorrow. Keep fighting the good fight. Luv and hugs Cathy

CBR

You are in good company. We are all alike. No shame here!

unentschieden

I'm glad I found this particular thread because I just had a new "I don't miss" tonight.

I don't miss trying not to slur my words when setting my wakeup call with the front desk.

Sounds like an inconsequential thing, but I don't miss it!

lifeinablur

i don't miss clearing the cache from my computer so my husband wouldn't know what i'd been looking at while he was gone.
i don't miss getting up at 5am for my shift after only sleeping 3 hours.
i don't miss the paranoia and fear and making everyone think i was out of my head.
i don't miss trying to explain the unexplainable.
i don't miss trying to justify or defend reading the smut someone else posted.
i don't miss all the time i used to waste.