Where I am - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

skybluesally · 10-17-2009, 05:06 AM

Sober 2yrs & 7 months. In a miserable marriage & unable to leave due to having 2 dogs that I won't leave (husband mistreats them when I'm not around) Can't find anyone to physically help altho I have family & a couple of friends who help by listening.
Mourning the death of my one true love of my life who died when I was 22 (10th October 1984) & we'd been together ages & planned to marry. That kickstarted alcohol & benzo abuse, eating disorders etc etc (I'd already been diagnosed with bipolar disorder & borderline personality disorder at 17!)

Glad I found this site, love to read & ponder the posts. Hope to get to know you all & give & receive support along the way!

Sally

**CarolD** · 10-17-2009, 05:31 AM

Sorry to know of your difficulties Sally....

Well done on your sober time despite your situation.

Welcome to SR....

Free108 · 10-18-2009, 01:00 AM

Hi Sally. Sounds like a difficult situation. I hope you can find a way through it. The dog thing is hard... hope you can leave with them soon. Best wishes.

43395 · 10-18-2009, 11:02 PM

I have a similar period of sobriety and suffer the same as you, in the sense that I often find I get emotionally drawn into a problem, whilst I understand your attachment to your dogs, no problem, it is perhaps that you are,'attached' to the problem, which cannot perhaps be solved immediately but if you change perspective and seek help outside that which is presently on offer emotionally, like ,'Animal Rescue' organisations that can provide you with short or long term care for your animals whilst you make a new start with whatever else is available, never forgetting that your continued sobriety is the main priority, may be a short term solution will provide a long term answer. Just a thought, if your partner is cruel to the dogs, shouldn't some other outside authority be looking at the problem, particularly as regards their welfare?

43395 · 10-18-2009, 11:54 PM

This disease is called, alcohol-ISM, therefore the alcohol is but a symptom, once it has been removed the -ISMS remain, it is then necassary to enlarge your spirituality which will help to change your perspective on life and deal with those problems, that through alcohol and whatever substances we were addicted to the 'attachments' we formed whilst taking them!

Not as easy perhaps, as it sounds but for me, I have had to learn to live with my sobriety otherwise there is the danger of becoming a ,'dry drunk'. For me, the paragraph near the end of the the story entitled, 'The Key to the Kingdom', at p.275 that begins,'A.A. is not a plan for recovery that can be finished and done with. is very, very true as it goes on to say,'retrogression can mean death for us,' then what happens to the dogs?

I am very guilty of, if I am not vigilant,'letting things get on top of me' so that the 'problem' itself becomes a problem, which is ridiculous. I think you've done pretty good so far, wonderful, for me, the problem now is learning to live with my sobriety which wshen I consider what I was like 2 years ago is a lot better. Michael.

10-17-2009, 05:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
skybluesally Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: London, UK, previously, Los Angeles, CA. Posts: 2	Where I am Sober 2yrs & 7 months. In a miserable marriage & unable to leave due to having 2 dogs that I won't leave (husband mistreats them when I'm not around) Can't find anyone to physically help altho I have family & a couple of friends who help by listening. Mourning the death of my one true love of my life who died when I was 22 (10th October 1984) & we'd been together ages & planned to marry. That kickstarted alcohol & benzo abuse, eating disorders etc etc (I'd already been diagnosed with bipolar disorder & borderline personality disorder at 17!) Glad I found this site, love to read & ponder the posts. Hope to get to know you all & give & receive support along the way! Sally

10-17-2009, 05:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 34,835	Sorry to know of your difficulties Sally.... Well done on your sober time despite your situation. Welcome to SR.... __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

10-18-2009, 11:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
43395 Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester Posts: 242	A 'dry drunk' This disease is called, alcohol-ISM, therefore the alcohol is but a symptom, once it has been removed the -ISMS remain, it is then necassary to enlarge your spirituality which will help to change your perspective on life and deal with those problems, that through alcohol and whatever substances we were addicted to the 'attachments' we formed whilst taking them! Not as easy perhaps, as it sounds but for me, I have had to learn to live with my sobriety otherwise there is the danger of becoming a ,'dry drunk'. For me, the paragraph near the end of the the story entitled, 'The Key to the Kingdom', at p.275 that begins,'A.A. is not a plan for recovery that can be finished and done with. is very, very true as it goes on to say,'retrogression can mean death for us,' then what happens to the dogs? I am very guilty of, if I am not vigilant,'letting things get on top of me' so that the 'problem' itself becomes a problem, which is ridiculous. I think you've done pretty good so far, wonderful, for me, the problem now is learning to live with my sobriety which wshen I consider what I was like 2 years ago is a lot better. Michael.

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10-18-2009, 01:00 AM	#3 (permalink)
Free108 Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 79	Hi Sally. Sounds like a difficult situation. I hope you can find a way through it. The dog thing is hard... hope you can leave with them soon. Best wishes.

10-18-2009, 11:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
43395 Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester Posts: 242	I have a similar period of sobriety and suffer the same as you, in the sense that I often find I get emotionally drawn into a problem, whilst I understand your attachment to your dogs, no problem, it is perhaps that you are,'attached' to the problem, which cannot perhaps be solved immediately but if you change perspective and seek help outside that which is presently on offer emotionally, like ,'Animal Rescue' organisations that can provide you with short or long term care for your animals whilst you make a new start with whatever else is available, never forgetting that your continued sobriety is the main priority, may be a short term solution will provide a long term answer. Just a thought, if your partner is cruel to the dogs, shouldn't some other outside authority be looking at the problem, particularly as regards their welfare?

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