New--but not new - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

dingleberry · 10-09-2009, 06:43 AM

I am new to this forum, went looking for one earlier, but I'm not new to recovery. I 've abused alcohol (and meds) on and off for over 40 yrs. Haven't had a drink since June 1, 09 and was doing good but then came a big blow to my world when my Mom died last Saturday. She wasn't well but her passing was very unexpected. Although I'm on meds for depression and bi-polar disorder I could only think of finding relief in a drink, no, many drinks. A friend talked me out of it and I've abstained so far but that certain urge I know all too well is still dominating thought, energy, time. I know how it would play out if I do pick up again.....so I need support more than I knew possible. This is huge--- this sudden transition, awakening, shock, pain, for no one this close to me has ever died before. My MOM my dear beautiful mom.Yet I still try to give myself reasons why I SHOULD drink. Just to get trough this, I can hande alcohol better than the pain and aloneness, etc...momentto moment I'm fighting the impulse. I'm here now for help and will stay hre as long and as much as necessary to ride out the storm. It feels good knowing all of us here are in a similar battle. Thinking about everyone here. Talk to you later......blessings

**Dee74** · 10-09-2009, 09:27 PM

Hi Dingleberry

I'm really sorry for your loss - prayers to your family.

I think one of the hardest things we have to learn in sobriety is we have to face stuff now.

I've spent a lifetime avoiding the bad times, but I can't do that anymore.

Emotional pain - sorrow - used to terrify me. It was one of the main reasons why I drank. Now I realise that sorrow isn't just about me at all, it's about the loss of people I love....there's a reason for it.

We all need to go through that grieving process for that loss - it's the natural thing to do - it's part of the eventual healing....

and a drink just puts that whole process off, drags us back into our addiction, and stops us being there for the other people who need us.

As I said to someone the other day - its no fitting tribute.

I hope you post again DB - you're not alone here

Welcome

D

lulamay · 10-10-2009, 02:36 AM

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
Hope to see you again here - there is so much kindness and support
x

Judy~Judy~Judy! · 10-10-2009, 10:54 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss. I also lost my beautiful mom. She passed away 10 years ago and my father 13 years ago. I still cry over them to this day.

Me: I've always had a reason to drink & drug it seems. Now, I'm at the lowest point of my life that I have ever been in. I was laid off from my job over a year ago. My unemployment ran out. I have no income now, no luck with finding a job. My boyfriend of 3 years moved out and left me for another woman. I live alone and I own the house. I've owned it 9 years. Looks like I will loose it all soon and not because of drugs or alcohol. I have no family to help or care, my friends are all pill popping, crack smoking, alcoholics and I did the same. I've stayed away from my friends in the last couple of weeks, as well as the drugs & alcohol. But, the problem is: I try and try and it all goes to crap and then I just throw up my hands and say screw it, what's the use?? I'm just spinning my wheels. Worrying and worrying about keeping material things. Time to go get some drugs & alcohol with my friends, they will buy it for me!

You will meet good people here. I've been a member on & off for about 7 years now. It's helped me.

Welcome!

**Dee74** · 10-10-2009, 11:11 PM

I drank because my life turned bad too Judy...it didn't help in the end...in fact it made things worse. Much worse. I was simply digging myself in deeper.

If you ever grow tired of digging, you know where we are

D

Judy~Judy~Judy! · 10-10-2009, 11:41 PM

I know it will be worse if I do, Dee. Actually, all I have to do is sit here and I'm getting deeper. No bills are being paid, none at all. Things will be shutting off eventually, and soon if something doesn't change. I don't even have any food.
And my 1/2 sister said to me yesturday, "oh, waa, waa, waaa, Miss Gloom & Doom...just in time for Halloween, get over it!" Well, needless to say, that really made me mad. Good thing she lives in California, the opposite coast.

**Dee74** · 10-11-2009, 12:06 AM

Things are really bad everywhere Judy.

I don't live in the States, but I'm disabled and on a fixed income. It's ironic but with the cost of living these days I'm poorer now than I ever was when I was drinking and drugging 24/7.

I know organisations like the Salvation Army can help with the basics like food - they may even be able to put you in touch with people who can help you with financial planning and other crisis services.

I've found myself that even the act of approaching my creditors and asking for time to pay can gain me some leeway in paying them back.

Above all - however tempting it is to fall back on the easy crutch of drink and drugs?

Ultimately thats doing nothing about anything - and these days I don't think that's a luxury we have, Judy.

D

10-09-2009, 06:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
dingleberry Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: new bern NC Posts: 6	New--but not new I am new to this forum, went looking for one earlier, but I'm not new to recovery. I 've abused alcohol (and meds) on and off for over 40 yrs. Haven't had a drink since June 1, 09 and was doing good but then came a big blow to my world when my Mom died last Saturday. She wasn't well but her passing was very unexpected. Although I'm on meds for depression and bi-polar disorder I could only think of finding relief in a drink, no, many drinks. A friend talked me out of it and I've abstained so far but that certain urge I know all too well is still dominating thought, energy, time. I know how it would play out if I do pick up again.....so I need support more than I knew possible. This is huge--- this sudden transition, awakening, shock, pain, for no one this close to me has ever died before. My MOM my dear beautiful mom.Yet I still try to give myself reasons why I SHOULD drink. Just to get trough this, I can hande alcohol better than the pain and aloneness, etc...momentto moment I'm fighting the impulse. I'm here now for help and will stay hre as long and as much as necessary to ride out the storm. It feels good knowing all of us here are in a similar battle. Thinking about everyone here. Talk to you later......blessings

10-09-2009, 09:27 PM	#2 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,347	Hi Dingleberry I'm really sorry for your loss - prayers to your family. I think one of the hardest things we have to learn in sobriety is we have to face stuff now. I've spent a lifetime avoiding the bad times, but I can't do that anymore. Emotional pain - sorrow - used to terrify me. It was one of the main reasons why I drank. Now I realise that sorrow isn't just about me at all, it's about the loss of people I love....there's a reason for it. We all need to go through that grieving process for that loss - it's the natural thing to do - it's part of the eventual healing.... and a drink just puts that whole process off, drags us back into our addiction, and stops us being there for the other people who need us. As I said to someone the other day - its no fitting tribute. I hope you post again DB - you're not alone here Welcome D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

10-10-2009, 10:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
Judy~Judy~Judy! Been trying Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Clemmons, North Carolina Posts: 2	I'm very sorry for your loss. I also lost my beautiful mom. She passed away 10 years ago and my father 13 years ago. I still cry over them to this day. Me: I've always had a reason to drink & drug it seems. Now, I'm at the lowest point of my life that I have ever been in. I was laid off from my job over a year ago. My unemployment ran out. I have no income now, no luck with finding a job. My boyfriend of 3 years moved out and left me for another woman. I live alone and I own the house. I've owned it 9 years. Looks like I will loose it all soon and not because of drugs or alcohol. I have no family to help or care, my friends are all pill popping, crack smoking, alcoholics and I did the same. I've stayed away from my friends in the last couple of weeks, as well as the drugs & alcohol. But, the problem is: I try and try and it all goes to crap and then I just throw up my hands and say screw it, what's the use?? I'm just spinning my wheels. Worrying and worrying about keeping material things. Time to go get some drugs & alcohol with my friends, they will buy it for me! You will meet good people here. I've been a member on & off for about 7 years now. It's helped me. Welcome! Last edited by Judy~Judy~Judy!; 10-10-2009 at 11:17 PM.

10-10-2009, 11:11 PM	#5 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,347	I drank because my life turned bad too Judy...it didn't help in the end...in fact it made things worse. Much worse. I was simply digging myself in deeper. If you ever grow tired of digging, you know where we are D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

10-11-2009, 12:06 AM	#7 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,347	Things are really bad everywhere Judy. I don't live in the States, but I'm disabled and on a fixed income. It's ironic but with the cost of living these days I'm poorer now than I ever was when I was drinking and drugging 24/7. I know organisations like the Salvation Army can help with the basics like food - they may even be able to put you in touch with people who can help you with financial planning and other crisis services. I've found myself that even the act of approaching my creditors and asking for time to pay can gain me some leeway in paying them back. Above all - however tempting it is to fall back on the easy crutch of drink and drugs? Ultimately thats doing nothing about anything - and these days I don't think that's a luxury we have, Judy. D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

10-10-2009, 02:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
lulamay Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England Posts: 89	I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Hope to see you again here - there is so much kindness and support x

10-10-2009, 11:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
Judy~Judy~Judy! Been trying Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Clemmons, North Carolina Posts: 2	I know it will be worse if I do, Dee. Actually, all I have to do is sit here and I'm getting deeper. No bills are being paid, none at all. Things will be shutting off eventually, and soon if something doesn't change. I don't even have any food. And my 1/2 sister said to me yesturday, "oh, waa, waa, waaa, Miss Gloom & Doom...just in time for Halloween, get over it!" Well, needless to say, that really made me mad. Good thing she lives in California, the opposite coast.

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