Emotionally ravaged, spiritually bereft, mentally disgusted and confused

[Gypsy Feet]

Emotionally ravaged, spiritually bereft, mentally disgusted and confused. The day I found SR, I could not look in a mirror. When my phone would ring, if it showed my mother or my daughter calling, i would burst into tears (if I wasn't crying already). I had spent the past many years in absolute spiritual darkness, forgetting there was anything "higher". I did not realize how far astray my life had gone until many weeks into SR and sobriety. I did not know how to be happy, or if I was or wasn't. I had very little if any knowledge of my feelings. I knew how to take care of others, I didn't even know there was a me to take care of. It all came to a head one hideous night, a night I thought I could never forgive myself for. . .



I googled "alcohol recovery" and found this magical, blessed place of healing. I met first the wonderful people in the class of December, who were all just as new and raw as I was. Anna and Carol and least and Dee and other "regulars" were voices through the fog of my pain. I almost couldn't make out their words, but enough sunk in to anchor me here.

I learned I needed to forgive me first, and with my friend Warren's help I did. I found the codependent squad next, and they shed light on to what certainly was a deeper problem in my life then even my drinking had been. And with all of this sage advice, with all of this knowledge and experience shared to shed light, and with all of the kindness and love on this site. . .

I have changed. I am changing. I am learning and growing and experiencing. I am feeling and discovering and seeking and understanding.

It has been 220 days since I woke up to my first sober morning in a very long time. Now I look back at that horrid night, and as much as I dislike what happened in principle, I am so very grateful that it led me here.

There truly is abundant joy, peace and meaning to be had in this life. I hope for all of you seeking it, you open your hearts and use the resources available to help you find it.

[firechic241]

Today is my first day of sobriety and it sucks. First I couldn't sleep. I kept waking up to cold sweats. I was literally covered in sweat; like gross dripping off my fingers. Then I was freezing because I was so wet. I feel wired out even though I haven't done anything today. I have extreme anxiety today and I can't seem to sit still. My bones ache and my stomach cramps make me double over. I am afriend

[mtnmagic]

Such a contrast between two posts.

Lisa - I have been following your progress and am so very happy for you.

firechic - Welcome and hang on. The withdrawals are horrible. Please consider getting medical help, should they persist or get worse. Yes, I understand that it is easier said then done. I have been there many times.
Just don't pick up that drink for this minute and then the next.

Please consider starting your own thread, so you can get the support you need right now.


Again, Lisa - YOU GO, Girl. You are an inspiration!