SR Discovery

[FightOn]

I found SR after yet another night of excess. I kept telling myself that I needed to quit as I was driving to the liquor store. I googled sobriety or alcohol recovery and this site caught my eye. I would periodically check some posts and then not come back for a month.
Then at one point I actually registered. It didn't change much as I didn't commit to my sobriety or visit the site regularly.
Finally, thanks to Nogard's guest thread, I stepped up and finally posted. That was 4 or 5 days ago and I haven't stopped posting. I do not think that it's a coincidence that I also haven't been to the liquor store.
As Least's thread title says, "Funny how an anonymous forum keeps me honest".

[Cacao]

At home surfing the net. Typed in the search bar 'photos of bloated alcoholics' & 'bloating from wine'. I wanted to see if maybe I have the bloated look! I normally only drink a couple of bottles of wine a month. About 3 glasses in one night, then dump the rest of contents. Then in 2 weeks, repeat the process. Lots of stressful circumstances in my life. People stealing from me, need dental insurance, in debt, depression, anxiety, gaining weight, oh that's just the beginning of my worries. So to deal with all this stress I've upped my wine nights per month. Now it's about 3 nights a week, a whole bottle each night. I feel like crap the next day, look like crap, etc. etc.

So out on the web tonite looking for bloated pics and found SR. I've been to AA meetings, then somehow go into denial I guess (in between poor attendance to meetings). I find reasons why I don't need AA ..... lots of reasons. But my life is going to hell and I want to stop drinking. I like that their only requirement for 'membership' is the desire to not drink. I know it's a great program, not perfect, because what is on this planet? Oh maybe a flower, a cat, a dog, or a child.

[herennow]

How I found SR - well its a good ole' fashon "read the BB" kind of story. Basically, I was living my life of sobriety and cruising along thinking there were no more scary demons in the closet. No more secrets. UNTIL one day I got really pissy with husband and my pissy'ness didn't go away after a good talk with myself. It lagged on and on and continued to confuse me (and him I'm sure). We had had an argument over something petty (curtains I think - if you can believe it) and I would not let go of this "need to be right" feeling. I had been reading the literature, cleaning my house and I had changed playgrounds years before so this one stumped me. I nudged my higher power one morning (my daily reading time) and asked what the heck was going on with me and well, it seems I hadn't been watching close enough to my top priorities because I had allowed myself to get lonely - REALLY LONELY. This ofcourse triggered what I tend to think of as a dry drunk (PAW) and it didn't take long for my selfish self to rear its ugly head. My God, recovery, family and career had taken a back seat to ME ME ME ME ME. I then took ANOTHER inventory (one of a million now I'm sure) and identified that I need more support than what I had. For me, if recovery is my coffee and my night cap things tend to run smoothly - but I want BETTER than smooth - I want MORE of course so I saw the need to fill a gap within my day - and SR is filling that gap for me me me me me.

[tallcactus]

FightOn,
Guess what, U R in for a fight, a battle, evil vs good and so on.
Stay strong.

[lonlion]

I had just had a motorcycle accident during a relapse and was wheel chair bound for six months. I was going stir crazy and knew I wanted to get clean again, so since I couldn't walk or drive, I got on my computer and found this site.
That was 5 years ago and since then I have had a great recovery program thanks in great part to this site getting me back on track. I also recently finished my Trauma and Addiction studies to become a counselor.
Thank you again SR.