do you mis getting loaded?

[umbriago]

or are you finally able to stand back and see the big picture?
i am, and i can not see myself wasting the time or money getting hopped up any more.
anyone else care to share?

[donnajr1]

I totally agree. What a waste of everything I could have been to everyone in my life, including myself. I am so happy to have my life back and to be working on the things that brought me to alcoholism.

[DrugFreeUMfan]

i miss it, but it's only been 5 days. I miss getting stoned the most. i haven't found anything else that makes me relax the way it did. "takes the edge off" is what my dad used to say. last night I was up till 5:30am cause I couldn't sleep cause I wasn't stoned. but, I know it will get better...

[LibertyorDeath]

Great question! I am starting to see the big picture. I have to force myself to see it sometimes though. Once that realization is made, I can overcome my desire for death.

(16 days sober)

Liberty~

[Freedom1990]

My worst day clean is by far better than my best day using.

I don't miss it at all because there's a whole lot of misery that came with that high.

[kj3880]

NO WAY!!! My new life beats my old one hands down!
kj

[umbriago]

"say Nope Ta Dope
And Ugh Ta Drugs!"
-mr. "t"

[lilbit]

umbriago...you KILL me!

[lilbit]

Miss drugs? Hell...I'm the Mcgyver of the medicine cabinet...They're all around me! Oh...do I miss taking them....hmmmmm...I still smoke ciggiez...I still drink coffee...I still take Lunesta...I still take PROZAC...ummm....let me think...miss THEm...
Huh?
What were we talking about?

[1963comet]

Do not miss it at all. Looking back at my life, I wonder, what was I thinking.

[gravity]

I have to admit that I occasionally wish I could go out with the boys and let loose. I only think this way maybe once a week. Of course, in my mind its the beer-commercial version of going out, not the three-day, no eating, no shower out-of-control mess that was my usual style.

99% of the time, its like comet says "what was I thinking?"

Progress...

[Zencat]

I must say I do miss some of my behaviors that were freed-up when I was flying high. However, I am learning to act strange clean and its far more exciting now that I'm sober clean. Before long I'll be strutting in my wild outfits again.

[dislipson]

I thought I would miss it but honestly I love the way I feel in the mornings now. I used to see people on the morning shows and ask myself "how do they do it"? I always felt like crap in the morning because I decided to get drunk the night before.

[least]

Every time I relapsed it tasted worse. Didn't make me feel like I wanted to (used to) feel. My spirit, what hadn't been completely crushed, was screaming at me to quit. Now I'm glad I finally did. I like waking up feeling human. It had been a long time since I woke up feeling good.

Not to mention when I got really bad I would shake so bad in the morning I had to give up coffee...

[LoraleighV]

In a word, no.

I know what I did the night before, I don't feel like **** in the morning, I haven't lost my friends, job or relationship because of something I can't remember doing.

Oh, I could go on but life is so much better.

[DSodaNow]

I don't miss getting loaded.... what I am having a hard time with is coming to the realization that I am never going to be a normal drinker. I miss the social glass of wine. (Problem is... it hasn't been a glass for me in a long time.)

The idea of never again is hard for me at times. I hope it gets better.

[LoraleighV]

Yeah, that tricky social drink (which none of us ever had near the end)

It ain't never gonna happen, so you've just got to accept it.

Yes, it's hard when my friends are drinking red wine and I get a waft of the "bouquet." All I need to do at that point is follow the drink through.

Oh, I'd have a few bottles of wine and end up god knows where god knows when. When I do that, it makes it just not worth it.

[rhomley]

I don't miss anything about getting drunk or stoned, it has been 21 years now and my life is so so so good I could never go back there again, I would rather be dead.

[benjiboy]

...I'm with Zencat...I loved the escape to be and dress and act and enjoy the capers of similar minded people...It's probably not cool to say it...but the 'high me' was a rather pleasant, entertaining, affable young man...until day 4...when I was a dribblin' horror...Looking now for the strength to be the same straight...but you can't have your cake and eat it...wouldn't swap now....the low's are over...wham balam...but so are the highs......sigh....au revoir mon petit highs...see you in the after party. xxx

[whiskerkissed]

Yah...I miss it...but working through that.... I miss getting going fast, don't miss the landslide that follows. I like the "dribblin' horror" comment. Sum's it up pretty well.

[LosingmyMisery]

No!

[jherzanek]

The longer I go, the more I have to lose. Soon to have 25 years. I really don't think about it. The only time I think much about it is when I am at a meeting!

[tsukiko]

I miss it bad. I've only been clean since may 30th 08; Its early days. I guess my mind is still conditioned to think of it whenever anything happens...its a good day then celebrate and get wrecked, its a bad day then wallow and escape, my hair wont do what i want...pin a bag and i wont care. I'm anxious about going to the supermarket...pin a bag and float around the isles. I'm angry at work...go to the toilet and get the foil out.

Its wierd, the longer I'm clean the more shocked and repulsed at remembering how everyday I'd go through the same routines of cooking up, using too much vitc and not caring, having blood clots, rashes and how eventually even if I dropped a pin and bent it I'd just bend it back. I didn't care how many times I'd used the same pin or how messed up my arms were. I'd cry and get so upset if I couldn't get a vein. I stopped rotating sites if i found an obvious vein because getting the gear in was more important than having healthy veins. I'd share works with my partner. Being in the car with the heater blasting and still shivering and being freezing cold, then scoring and not even being able to wait until we got hone, finding a car park or similar and just cooking up there. I cant believe until the end of May that that was my life...

...Yet there's this voice in my head which just keeps saying 'after this long clean it'd feel so good. If you dont pin it, if you just smoke a bag that's ok and its justo one bag. Its like a treat, just the once'.

Some days I am so happy, feel so fresh and healthy and good I cant imagine ever craving or goin near that crap again, but the next day or hour or minute I cant imagine ever being happy without it and i cant remember the hour or day before when I was. All a part of it I guess.

Learning to live without gear, eating well, affording the bills, working two jobs and seeing my mates, noticing the positive effects its had on my body and how old friends suddenly look at me like I'm a human and not scum isn't enough yet to stop that voice. Not yet.

[birdinthehand]

i do miss getting high, especially when i am in a stressful situation, and i have to just.....sit with the feelings. i also miss just feeling really good for a few hours.....BUT i am completely convinced that if i start using again, i will be right back where i was (constant, uncontrolled use in a deep depression) within a couple days, and that is not worth being rescued from an uncomfortable feeling or feeling really good for a few hours.

[onthewagon]

I miss getting drunk, but when I saw what happened to my mind and body when I stopped, I think the trade off of not drinking is worth the long term benefits.