At my last rope

[wooforever]

I found my way to recovery, stay at home alone at christmas time I was waiting for AD ex to come home with the drugs. Guess what he did not show up and when he did show up it was a month later. I thought to myself what hell am I doing waiting for him and the drug, being lonely when the drugs where there and when they weren't. By this time in my addication I only used when my ex had time to bring it by or when he wanted to be with me. I let him make me feel I was no good unless I was using the drugs. I told myself this is not worth it anymore, I am not happy on the drugs or when I am not on them. My kids started to notice the mood swings, I talked to my brother-in law(he is dead) to help me with my problem I needed his help. I asked him to help me get over this addication or help me cope with it. I have not used since that day. I do not have any disire to use. I am so glad that I found my higher power, and someone I know will be watching out for me.

I still am working on believing that I am good enough to love. That I am worth more then drugs. It has been a long time since I thought about this.

Now can look into my kids eyes and see what I could of missed. I am glad for the day I came to realization that I could not control my addication any more and I need help to get me out of the hole I was buring myself in.

I am doing better everyday I am sober. I am working on me so I can be there for my kids.

[AddictionRelief]

It's not an easy battle... it can feel like it's only uphill but I promise it will get easier. The fact of the matter is.. you're better than the drugs and your life will be better without them.