Blackouts??????

[trooper913]

I am new here and I have yet to see anyone who had blackouts. I am sure it is in here somewhere, but I thought I would make my own thread to shed some light. I have had more than 50 really bad blackouts where I woke up going WTF for the next 3 days. I have lost all my friends in blackouts. I have gone driving and somehow found my way home. I have called people I never call and made an ass of myself....Last time I blacked out I went to a bar and don't remember anything but a fight. I got home at3:00, according to the taco bell reciept that I saw sittting on my kitchen counter the next morning, next to 4 uneaten value meals still in the bag....WTF was I thinking. Immediately terror hit me. Is the car ok? Are my kids still here. Is my wife here?

I just do not understand how easily it has become to forget about the guilt so quick and pick up a beer and some shots and act like nothing ever happened.....

I think I have been selfish and hard to love......

All of my hoppies require me to be sober and healthy....which leaves me hosed if I am drinking......I am depressed

[CAPTAINZING2000]

After what you wrote, think it might be time for you to address your alcohol problem?

You could kill yourself and someone else by driving this way.

[Dean62]

Originally Posted by trooper913

I just do not understand how easily it has become to forget about the guilt so quick and pick up a beer and some shots and act like nothing ever happened.....

I think I have been selfish and hard to love......

I know I have been selfish and hard to love. It comes with the territory. To be unselfish is a daily process for me right now.

As for easily forgetting and acting like nothing happened, been there done that so many times it has become normal behavior for me. What I try to remember is not the guilt itself but what life is like when I drink, I am a train wreck. How can I forget that?

Don't beat yourself up with guilt or let depression get the best of you. Those are tools for this cunning and baffling disease of alcohol to use against us. This disease has made you it's slave trooper913.

Put the guilt aside and work on the solution. Recovery is a journey you deserve.

Thanks for sharing trooper913

[trooper913]

I have realized that it has been my back turned on truth...... Unfortunately, alchohol was my escape............ Then it led to other stuff... Untangle your own web..I'm busy!!!

[29a]

heres one of my worst blackout experiences. i woke up at some girls house who I didn't know. she gave me a ride to where I parked my car. but my car wasn't there. I was sure I parked it there. So I called the cops and reported it stolen. Went to my parents house , they were having a family gathering--aunts uncles, grandparents, cousins etc. The cop showed up to take my report. We were standing out by the road and everyone in my family was watching, just then, my best friend drove up in my car. He had my keys, he told me I had let him borrow it. talk about complete and utter demoralization. god that sucked.

it's a war story, but the point is, your not alone
it happens to the best of us

[strangewood]

Wow that is scary even to think about ...I have many stories so similar I am sooooo greatful for A A for my new life the one that I left realy sucked ...I hope that trooper makes it

[trooper913]

I hope we all do...After all... we can only make it a day at a time....... 3

[PaperDolls]

I wouldn't even attempt to count the number of blackouts I had. I have posted some of the stupid stuff I've done during blackout, well, the stuff I can remember but I really just try not to think about it much. It's in the past.

Welcome to SR trooper. Glad you're here!

[ermine chorten]

Hello 913, Welcome,
I'm new here too. Blackouts- Paper Dolls is right on that one. Cannot even count them and if it weren't for the taxi drivers to take me home who knows where I might have been. Well that was just part of my Alcoholic story. Which I thought I'd kept very hidden, Ha, I stopped going to bars, I didn't trust myself. Yes, I lost alot of friends & opportunities. Because all I wanted to do was be alone in my drinking. Always the wine. Didn't go to parties I was too scared of what I might do . I didn't even meet up for dinners with friends. It was a horrible place to be when I lived in Sydney, I felt so alone and the AA meetings did diddly squat for me.Now I have a great group down here in France and I know my healing will take long time. Doc told me yesterday.

Keep coming back there is a plethora of information and answers to you questions.

Ermine

[trooper913]

I am so not in a good spot lately.....Thanks for posting

[CarolD]

Here is information ...Blackouts are explained on #19.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html (Excerpts from "Under The Influence")

I have not had a blackout since I quit drinking.
My depression vanished by 3 months AA sober.
What a concept!

[Stormy1119]

I can't remember the last time I drank and didn't blackout.

I only have driven during one blackout, the night I got my DUI. Somehow that didn't manage to sober me up, just kept me from driving.

I paid over $200 for tickets to a football game at my favorite college. It was a game that was going to be aired on ESPN. Well, I chugged 100 proof SoCo in order to get drunk before the game (we went in the gates 1.5 hrs early). I only remember about 20 mins after getting to the game... my black out lasted until 4th quarter. I still havent' seen the ESPN tape of the game, but I doubt it was pretty. That was my first experience blacking out then sobering up before I went to sleep. Usually I black out then wake up the next morning wondering what happened.

Got blitzed before a concert, blacked out, didn't realize it was going be taped (though I doubt it would have mattered to me). I was on the front row. I've seen the video and its very embarrasing.

Those are actually some of my least embarrassing black out stories.

I'm looking forward to not having anymore blackouts. No more wondering what I did, who I called, who I offended, how I embarrassed myself.

[ImJulie]

Oh dear....blackouts....yup, Ive had a few in my time.
The worst was probably waking up on a strangers couch, with a big scary dog sleeping ON my feet.
I wasnt sure how I got there, how long I'd been there, if I was even in the same city I started drinking in. I was terrified....how was I going to explain to my hubby where I'd been? How was I going to get home? How was I going to get out of this place without the scary dog eating me for breakfast??!!

[sailorjohn]

[quote=trooper913;1668516]I am new here and I have yet to see anyone who had blackouts.

Most of us are in recovery so we don't do the "drunkalogue" thing, but I had my first blackout when I was fifteen, got picked up by the cops, who may have saved me from freezing to death. My favorite blackout story is the one where the kid comes to in the jail cell, asks the turnkey to call his parents so they can bail him out. The turnkey tells the kid he can't, "you killed your Mom and Dad last night"

[Gutterdrunk]

My worst blackout:

My wife was out of town and had my parents come up to babysit me and the kids (10,6 and 5 yo). They left 8 hours before my wife was due back in town. I snuck a bottle in to the house and after I killed it, I drove 2 miles to the dump to get rid of the evidence. I don't remember leaving the house.

I woke up in the hospital with a sheriff next to my on a gurney in the hospital with an IV in my arm all beat up. I picked a fight with a big dude who knocked the **** out of me. My kid came very close to ending up in the system, but my 10yo was smart enough to call her aunt.

that was 5.5 years ago. After that stunt, my second arrest in 6 months, I was thrown out on my ass.

I never want to forget it, and why would I ? my past has become my greatest asset due to the step and this program

[Elseegee]

I thought blackouts were 'normal' thing following an evening of drinking. I blacked out after my first whiskey shots at the age of 14. The past few years I drank to blackout so I could forget about the stupid stuff I did the night before... I blamed on the alcohol.

[MagicMan08]

man the blackouts......i had pretty much gotten used to waking up the next day feeling shame and guilt simply knowing I did something stupid the night before....and usually I was right....

I have had some pretty important to me anyway life conversations and most of em were when I was blacked out....... I cannot ever get that time back, and they have told me what they needed to say and I supposedly said what I needed to say.....

Its to the point now in my life where my loved ones ride me about a relapse that it causes a level of shame all by its self....ugh....but its strange after getting out of a broken 4 year relationship whom she was with my during the prime of my alcoholism....i almost feel free....but I miss her

I think I had forgotten what it was like to love someone.....I guess like some others have said....I was selfish.....

[NewDayNow]

Thanks for digging up this old thread NyMinute. I've been working on my list and this one will make a "great" addition. Can't believe this one wasn't the first thing I wrote down. It is the scary one. The shakes will now move down to number two.

I've had many a black out. The amount of alcohol it takes probably depends on the drinker, and how fast it's drank.

Here are a few of the places I've found myself in the morning-------

I have woke up in my car many times. Sometimes in my driveway and sometimes parked in the woods or maybe a strip mall parking lot. Woke up sitting at the dinning room table, in the bath tub with my clothes on and soaking wet. Woke up in bed with my clothes on including my shoes. I even woke up one time sitting next to the lake with a fishing pole and tackle box.

Had no idea how I ended up in those places. Had no idea were I got that poll and box.

Never had a DUI
I never woke up in jail and if I had, I wouldn't remember how I got there.

Like I said, scary--- For me and the people I didn't hurt or kill.

Another reason to take it one day at a time

Ed

[NoelleR]

Everytime I see a thread about blackouts, I like to add these links to fill out the whole story (only alcoholics get blackouts, or no...?).....:

1) Alcohol induced blackouts
2) Blacking out vs Passing out
3) BAC (Blood Alcohol Concentration) and blackouts
4) Do blackouts ALWAYS suggest alcoholism?
5) Blackouts in non-alcoholics
6) Are some people more likely to blackout than others?

1) Alcohol-induced blackouts
2) Alcohol-induced blackouts
3) Alcohol-induced blackouts
4) Alcohol-induced blackouts
5) Alcohol-induced blackouts
6) Alcohol-induced blackouts


Here's hoping y'all enjoyed the reading ...... (o:


NoelleR

[chuck]

i didn't like AA either,thought it was patronizing.

[chuck]

[Timetowakeup]

I'm too ashamed to share any of my "blackout" stories right now. I am humiliated and imbarressed for what I have done the last several years that I don't remember.

I also thought that these were normal. I gotta say that I am a little glad knowing that I am not the only one who has had numerouse "blackouts"

[Pam08]

I think black outs and being an alcoholic go hand and hand. I am blacked out every time I drink. We don't know when to stop. so usually blackout/passout is how we stop. I remember bits and pieces of stuff , enuf so I can't imagine I did what i did..said what i said..and alot of times. not really sure what went on. I went to detox 9 years ago after a blackout that when i woke up was in a very bad place..doing some really not me things....well..i went back to drinking..but would only drink at home or safe with a good friend....never to get in that situation again...or get into one and not know.....AA and this forum is saving my life.....keep posting..life can get better.. i am new but I see it in the old timers. i want what they have..

[Timetowakeup]

Originally Posted by Pam08

I think black outs and being an alcoholic go hand and hand. I am blacked out every time I drink. We don't know when to stop. so usually blackout/passout is how we stop. I remember bits and pieces of stuff , enuf so I can't imagine I did what i did..said what i said..and alot of times. not really sure what went on. I went to detox 9 years ago after a blackout that when i woke up was in a very bad place..doing some really not me things....well..i went back to drinking..but would only drink at home or safe with a good friend....never to get in that situation again...or get into one and not know.....AA and this forum is saving my life.....keep posting..life can get better.. i am new but I see it in the old timers. i want what they have..

I know what you mean. After I had a life threatening experience and almost lost my son because of my drinking, I quit for 5 years. But when I started drinking again, I only did it when my husband could babysit me.