Coming Out of the Dark

[memphis_woman]

I'm sitting at my computer trying to describe how I came to this site today. I think the best way to accomplish my task is to start at the beginning, so here goes:
I grew up in a dysfunctional home. As an infant I was left home alone in a crib with bottles of formula, and the television for company. I was taught to obey unquestioningly and anticipate my mother's whims. Disobedience and failure to meet the standards resulted in beatings. I grew up overweight and had a difficult time making friends, but excelled in school.
As an adult, I tried to please men by anticipating their needs, and keeping them happy. I was a doormat, and was walked over regularly. This culminated in my marriage last year to a man who went to work 2 hours after the wedding, and never moved in with me. He would not allow me to move in with him, either. I ballooned up in weight to 400 pounds. I looked like I was about to explode. I stuffed every negative emotion down with food.
In January of this year, I decided to take my life back. I've lost over 50 pounds, so far. God has truly been good to me. But I find that as I lose weight, I am dealing with all kinds of feelings that I've never dealt with before. In my search for answers, and for help, I found this community. I've already found some encouraging and helpful posts. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that it has to be better than where I've been. I'm just trying to make the most of my journey. It's good to be here with other people attempting to do the same.

[kelsh]

memphis woman,

Welcome! Yes there are many of us working to keep our life in a positive mode. There are all kinds of illnesses, addictions, and past issues that we give each other support for. :comfort

I am an alcoholic in recovery. I come here to share my experience, strength, and hope with others so they can find their way. :praying

My husband and I are both retired and seem to take each day as it comes. We have grandkids over...two were here today. They are a big comfort. We also have two dogs...mine is a white, shorthaired terrier and my husband's is an Airedale.

Our days are busy and go by too fast. I am sure there will be some more replys to your post...sometimes it is slower on the weekends. Tomorrow is holiday...Veteran's Day.

It is wonderful you have lost 50 pounds. I know what it is like to lose weight. I was over-weight and when I quit one medication with my doctors okay, I lost 65 pounds without even trying to...but with sad results...too much skin left over...Oh well it doesn't show through clothes so that is what counts.

Have a good rest of the weekend.

kelsh

[Spiritual Seeker]

Welcome. It sounds like you are moving in the right direction. Good for you.