Recovery is....Grieving well - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

splendra · 03-14-2006, 08:19 AM

I have had the privilage of working with a grief ministry. It has taught me so much about my recovery thru the greiving I have done.
For anyone one who doesn't know about the 5 stages of grief they are as follows:

1. denial
2. bargining
3. anger
4. depression
5. acceptance

Anytime we suffer a loss both great or small these stages are how everyone deals with it not just me or you but, all of us. We all grieve in our own time and go thru the different stages at our own rates. Some people spend more time in the denial stage and some stay in the anger stage longer. It has helped me in my recovery a great deal to assess my losses against the stages of grief . The loss of my Dad was my greatest loss so far in my life.

The loss of my childhood seems to be what I am most consciously grieving about right now.

I became my mother's mother when I was about 5 years old. I think I have been stuck in the depression stage of grief over this for a while and am coming into the acceptance stage of this.

I have grieved many losses and I realize that in order to grieve well I need others to help me thru it. It seems to me that the depression stage of grief is the one that takes me the most time to go thru usually but, I guess it does have some bearing as to how great the loss is as well.

**Ann** · 03-14-2006, 09:42 AM

Good post, Splendra. It wasn't until recovery that I learned to grieve losses other than people who had died.

I have grieved the loss of my son as I knew him, loss of access to my granddaughter, and loss of other things that have caused me sadness and pain. Learning it was okay to grieve, even healthy, helped me get throught the process knowing the sadness wouldn't last forever.

What you posted described well the stages of grief, and it's good to see it written out. Sometimes I think we feel alone in those feelings, or like there is something wrong with us, when it's really a normal process of moving forward.

Hugs,

bikewench · 03-14-2006, 10:20 AM

Hey Splendra...

great topic...

grieving...

I think if we'all took the time to do our grief work properly.... we'd put the pharmaceutical conglomerates outa bizznezz...

I know about grief...

I also have been letting it flow...
don't try to stem the tide at all anymore...
just let it out....

But.. I do try to do it judicioualy...

Cry where no one can see me... or hear me....
For... it impacts those that witness it... so... a person should be willing to do much of it alone... with hugs as needed...

We are all much to afraid of our own heads and what goes on in there...

Rock on Splen...
you shiny angel.. ;o)

And blessings on you too Ann...

I see your name in bold again...
as it should be.. ;o)

indigo · 03-14-2006, 11:19 AM

Yes what a splendid topic, starting to grieve helped me to grow it's a really positive step in reclaiming yourself. THANKS for posting this. I am sure it will encourage many people.

hugs indie

cwohio · 03-14-2006, 11:27 AM

why the cream of the crop all posting one after the other!

you know - until you all mentioned it, i hadn't even considered all the other "losses" that i shold acknoledge and grieve - it's only been the "biggie" that's been in the forefront of my life right now.

thanks to you all for your sharing!

splendra · 03-14-2006, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bikewench

I think if we'all took the time to do our grief work properly.... we'd put the pharmaceutical conglomerates outa bizznezz...

You sure got that right (((BW)))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ann

I have grieved the loss of my son as I knew him, loss of access to my granddaughter, and loss of other things that have caused me sadness and pain. Learning it was okay to grieve, even healthy, helped me get throught the process knowing the sadness wouldn't last forever.

Yes (((ANN))) we grieve loss not just death and it very heallthy to look at the grief of loss....oh and it is so good to see your name in Bold again...

(((Indigo))) I hope you are right about this post helping others.

(((CW))) You are a wonderful example of grieving well you have shared your pain and experience with us here and I am constantly amazed at how you cope and the beauty of your journey and the incredible light that shines in your gentle gracious words....thank you so much for being here with us.

historyteach · 03-14-2006, 08:08 PM

Splendra;
This is a great topic. Yea, I've been aware of the phases of grief. And I know the first year is the most difficult.
I've grieved the loss of my son, and the end of my marriage. The loss of my dad; and the beginning of the end of my career.
Yes, I too live in the depression stage.
And the truth about the pharmicutical companies is for sure. Good point, Bike! Along with the insurance companies who want quick results. Health in a pill bottle.

Shalom!

03-14-2006, 08:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
splendra the girl can't help it Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: splendraville Posts: 5,495 Blog Entries: 3	Recovery is....Grieving well I have had the privilage of working with a grief ministry. It has taught me so much about my recovery thru the greiving I have done. For anyone one who doesn't know about the 5 stages of grief they are as follows: 1. denial 2. bargining 3. anger 4. depression 5. acceptance Anytime we suffer a loss both great or small these stages are how everyone deals with it not just me or you but, all of us. We all grieve in our own time and go thru the different stages at our own rates. Some people spend more time in the denial stage and some stay in the anger stage longer. It has helped me in my recovery a great deal to assess my losses against the stages of grief . The loss of my Dad was my greatest loss so far in my life. The loss of my childhood seems to be what I am most consciously grieving about right now. I became my mother's mother when I was about 5 years old. I think I have been stuck in the depression stage of grief over this for a while and am coming into the acceptance stage of this. I have grieved many losses and I realize that in order to grieve well I need others to help me thru it. It seems to me that the depression stage of grief is the one that takes me the most time to go thru usually but, I guess it does have some bearing as to how great the loss is as well. __________________ nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

03-14-2006, 09:42 AM	#2 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,227	Good post, Splendra. It wasn't until recovery that I learned to grieve losses other than people who had died. I have grieved the loss of my son as I knew him, loss of access to my granddaughter, and loss of other things that have caused me sadness and pain. Learning it was okay to grieve, even healthy, helped me get throught the process knowing the sadness wouldn't last forever. What you posted described well the stages of grief, and it's good to see it written out. Sometimes I think we feel alone in those feelings, or like there is something wrong with us, when it's really a normal process of moving forward. Hugs, __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

03-14-2006, 11:19 AM	#4 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	Yes what a splendid topic, starting to grieve helped me to grow it's a really positive step in reclaiming yourself. THANKS for posting this. I am sure it will encourage many people. hugs indie __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

03-14-2006, 11:27 AM	#5 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	why the cream of the crop all posting one after the other! you know - until you all mentioned it, i hadn't even considered all the other "losses" that i shold acknoledge and grieve - it's only been the "biggie" that's been in the forefront of my life right now. thanks to you all for your sharing! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

03-14-2006, 08:08 PM	#7 (permalink)
historyteach To Life! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 9,303	Splendra; This is a great topic. Yea, I've been aware of the phases of grief. And I know the first year is the most difficult. I've grieved the loss of my son, and the end of my marriage. The loss of my dad; and the beginning of the end of my career. Yes, I too live in the depression stage. And the truth about the pharmicutical companies is for sure. Good point, Bike! Along with the insurance companies who want quick results. Health in a pill bottle. Shalom! __________________ IMAGINE

03-14-2006, 10:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
bikewench Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada Posts: 1,441	Hey Splendra... great topic... grieving... I think if we'all took the time to do our grief work properly.... we'd put the pharmaceutical conglomerates outa bizznezz... I know about grief... I also have been letting it flow... don't try to stem the tide at all anymore... just let it out.... But.. I do try to do it judicioualy... Cry where no one can see me... or hear me.... For... it impacts those that witness it... so... a person should be willing to do much of it alone... with hugs as needed... We are all much to afraid of our own heads and what goes on in there... Rock on Splen... you shiny angel.. ;o) And blessings on you too Ann... I see your name in bold again... as it should be.. ;o)

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