Where am I in my recovery? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

mfarencics · 03-14-2006, 07:59 AM

My name is MIKE. I am an addict in recovery. Ihave been doing drugs for 8 years. I am currently 24 years of age. I own a house, am engaged to be married, and have 2 kids. My addiction started back when I was 16. I have a very addictive personality by nature and got cought up in drinking and smoking pot along with some mild pain killers such as percocets and vikadin. By 17 I was drinking a 12 pack and a pint every night,along with a couple of blunts,and whatever else I could come up with. then started with the acid, mushrooms, opium, hash, snow balling myself into a toxic avenger by adding 400mg of oxycontine and or heroin, and at least 100 dollars of cocaine into my daily routine. Beleive it or not I was the top automobile technition in my shop and besides the unbeleivible amout of money spent, it was not really affecting my life on the surface. Then came crack. I came to love crack and quickly grew to hate it. within 3 months I lost my job,my respect, my integrity, and almost my family. Now I am doinng ok in my eyes, I am totaly clean most of the time,and I'm talking about no beer, no weed,no heroin,no pills,no acid,nothing. But the pattern is about once a week to a week and a half I succumb to some sort of powerful force and find myself smoking 20 to 50 dollars in crack. Then the next day I am back in my recovery for another week or week and a half. this has been going on for 7 weeks. I was smoking a couple hundred dollars a day. I need to kick it for good before I lose everything I know and love. My wife and mother have been very supportive, but just don't understand fully what a drug addict feels or goes through in ones fight for recovery. Does anyone have any suggestions.

**Ann** · 03-14-2006, 09:37 AM

Mike, I am the mother of an addict and don't really know what it feels like, but I do know, and you probably do too, that life is much better sober.

others will be along who can help you better than I, but perhaps you might want to post this on the substance abuse forum or even Newcomers and perhaps be more visible to people who would like to meet you and offer their suggestions.

Hugs,

indigo · 03-14-2006, 11:15 AM

Ann's right others will be along to help you find your way back to sobriety. Sobriety really rocks you know.....I get high on living, loving and laughter now. A couple of years ago without the help of my family, friends and SR I would surely be dead. Take a look around and get to know us.
indigo

goffredo · 03-15-2006, 08:12 AM

Mike

I am not an addict but my partner is. She tried almost everything and used for 25 years as well as drinking. She's been clean and sober for 6 months now and what did it for her was: AA NA and my support.

For me: Alanon and SR

Love Jo

Love Jo

thinksteven · 03-18-2006, 03:51 PM

We recieve 4 million bits of information through our senses per second but we are only aware of 2000. the problem is that our emotions come from the subconcious mind and it can be a trigger that sets you off that you consciously not aware of. you have to tell me how you deside to use again. become aware of your thinking pattern and your emotions. i will help you where i can

03-14-2006, 07:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
mfarencics Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: new britain, ct Posts: 4	Where am I in my recovery? My name is MIKE. I am an addict in recovery. Ihave been doing drugs for 8 years. I am currently 24 years of age. I own a house, am engaged to be married, and have 2 kids. My addiction started back when I was 16. I have a very addictive personality by nature and got cought up in drinking and smoking pot along with some mild pain killers such as percocets and vikadin. By 17 I was drinking a 12 pack and a pint every night,along with a couple of blunts,and whatever else I could come up with. then started with the acid, mushrooms, opium, hash, snow balling myself into a toxic avenger by adding 400mg of oxycontine and or heroin, and at least 100 dollars of cocaine into my daily routine. Beleive it or not I was the top automobile technition in my shop and besides the unbeleivible amout of money spent, it was not really affecting my life on the surface. Then came crack. I came to love crack and quickly grew to hate it. within 3 months I lost my job,my respect, my integrity, and almost my family. Now I am doinng ok in my eyes, I am totaly clean most of the time,and I'm talking about no beer, no weed,no heroin,no pills,no acid,nothing. But the pattern is about once a week to a week and a half I succumb to some sort of powerful force and find myself smoking 20 to 50 dollars in crack. Then the next day I am back in my recovery for another week or week and a half. this has been going on for 7 weeks. I was smoking a couple hundred dollars a day. I need to kick it for good before I lose everything I know and love. My wife and mother have been very supportive, but just don't understand fully what a drug addict feels or goes through in ones fight for recovery. Does anyone have any suggestions.

03-14-2006, 09:37 AM	#2 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,227	Mike, I am the mother of an addict and don't really know what it feels like, but I do know, and you probably do too, that life is much better sober. others will be along who can help you better than I, but perhaps you might want to post this on the substance abuse forum or even Newcomers and perhaps be more visible to people who would like to meet you and offer their suggestions. Hugs, __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

03-14-2006, 11:15 AM	#3 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	Ann's right others will be along to help you find your way back to sobriety. Sobriety really rocks you know.....I get high on living, loving and laughter now. A couple of years ago without the help of my family, friends and SR I would surely be dead. Take a look around and get to know us. indigo __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

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03-15-2006, 08:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
goffredo Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: London, UK Posts: 114	Mike I am not an addict but my partner is. She tried almost everything and used for 25 years as well as drinking. She's been clean and sober for 6 months now and what did it for her was: AA NA and my support. For me: Alanon and SR Love Jo Love Jo

03-18-2006, 03:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
thinksteven Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cape Town Posts: 2	We recieve 4 million bits of information through our senses per second but we are only aware of 2000. the problem is that our emotions come from the subconcious mind and it can be a trigger that sets you off that you consciously not aware of. you have to tell me how you deside to use again. become aware of your thinking pattern and your emotions. i will help you where i can

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