Reality, God and I...

[chip]

I'm becoming more honest with myself. Instead of hiding from reality, I'm facing it head-on without the sheilds of mood/mind altering substances. This can be hard, but the rewards are many.

I'm learning to live with myself. At the end of the day, it's me who has to deal with myself. Without mood/mind altering substances, I must learn to accept who I am....and like who I am.

I like the person I'm becoming. I pray to God to grant me a good direction, and to guide me down the right path. I pray for a glimpse of his plan for me. I pray that I can be who he wants me to be, and that this is the person I will become.

Before becoming clean and sober, I used to pray to myself. I'd look in the mirror and say "You're the man, chip. You can do anything. You are the best, and you are better than everyone else". I would do this to get myself 'pumped up' for whatever trial awaited me. Today, I pray to God. I know I can't get through life on my own. I know that I fail in life with out Good Orderly Direction. I know when I was at the wheel, I ended up in the ditch. Turning the car over to God was the best thing I could do.

I avoid crushing worries by remaining clean and sober. I had real worries every day about blacking out, hangovers, DUI's, violence, and all the bad things which go with drinking/drugs. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I can stop myself from picking up that first drink. When alcohol is in my system, I have no control. After taking one drink, I have no guarentee about what will happen. All I know is I will want more and more. I can't change the fact that I'm an alcoholic, but I can change my behaviour/thoughts.... Staying away from that first drink is crucial.

I have no control over random first thoughts. I can control the second and third thought which follow the initial "I'd like to have a drink" thought. God granted me the power to not pick up a drink. Exercising this power saves me from a world of heartache, pain, suffering and personal ruin. AA gives me the tools to exercise this power, and deal with addictive thoughts. I truly believe that this is the power of God, which I've prayed for. I know I, myself, have no control over drinking. I know that through God, a miracle has happened. The miracle is that I am sober today...this truly is an amazing feat. I'm incaple of this on my own steam.

I pray to God to fill me with his power. I pray that I may pour myself out, and have the cancer of self replaced with the power of God. I know that God's power can relieve me of my addictions. I believe that power can take away my cravings. I have faith that power can direct my life, and lead me down the right path.

In return I want to help others. I have so much gratitude for this, I cannot store it inside. I need to help others. I need to be of service. I must live my life as a living "thank you" to God. I must give to others what has been freely given to me.

Peace be with you, and thanks for reading! Let's stay sober!!!!!!
chip

[shockozulu]

Great post Chip. I'm printing this one out.

[best]

Amen

[Grimnar]

Originally Posted by chip

I know that I fail in life with out Good Orderly Direction

Well said! Self-discipline is something I need to practice more of.

[chip]

Tonight, I had a couple passing thoughts about smoking a joint.

I dismissed those thoughts right away. I spoke with God about them. These thoughts serve no purpose, and smoking a joint isn't an option. Harbouring a thought like that will do no good...it will only make me suffer. I pray to God to take away my urges and cravings. I pray so that I can replace these thoughts with more positive/productive ones.

The chapter of drinking and smoking weed is over in my life. The page has been turned, and I'm not going back. Being miserable isn't an option I want to entertain.

I'm so glad I'm clean and sober now. This is a much better way to live. Life will happen, and negative things will come....but I can deal with anything better when I'm clean and sober. I'm so thankful for the gift of my sobriety.

I see my sobriety as a gift from God. I see my life as a gift. I'm so thankful, and that gratitude is helping me stay clean and sober.
chip

Good thread Chip, and I liked the part about facing reality. One of the things that grabbed me when I came into recovery, was that reality, and facing it, was not as bad as I had myself believing during all those years of using. And it goes without saying I suppose that while I was using, (or not using but not in any recovery either), my view on reality, what I believed to be true, was very distorted, very wrong.

[chip]

Reality isn't so bad, eh Viper? I agree. My views on reality were distored as well.

I know things won't always be great, but I can have faith that my HP won't throw me anything I can't handle sober. My great task in life is to face things sober.

If I can do that, I'm hopeful that my life will unfold to be a beautiful story...and not one of misery and shame.
chip