Codependent Observations

[Hopefloats]

I was thinking today about observations. Being codependent, I can relate to the addict in so many ways. I truly feel that I can. This is not to say that I "feel" what they feel, but let's just say I know what it feels like to act out and feed my unhealthy needs with my unhealthy behaviors.

We the codependents are always saying "Watch what the addict does, not what he/she says". Well, my observations have taught me that with US the codependents that saying applies to us as well.
It is easy to toss around slogans at times, but what is more important is to "watch what the codependent does, not what he/she says" Hmmmmmmm our little words don't often match our feet either.

So, I guess my point is.. (I am trying here..give this gal a break I observe what we do with our codependent behaviors and words. A true sign for us also is how we are living our lives.

Just like the addict, it is not enough to just read books or go to meetings. We must apply the steps to our life. If someone is saying they are doing better, but everything in their life is still filled with conflict, or they are angry all of the time, or nothing is working, be it with friends, co-workers, husbands, children...well there is a problem. We really do feel as sick as our addicts, without taking the drug of course.

That is my observation for today. Any thoughts?
OH and I am also saying with great compassion that recovery is a hard road to travel. I would not want it any other way. BUT, it is hard. I have great respect for addicts that are in recovery.
And I don't ask any more from another person than I am willing to do myself.

Thank you..
Hopefloats

[Gabe]

A familiar phrase that is tossed around SoberRecoveryville is...
"We're all here because we're sick."
In other words, we are all dealing with the affects that addiction has had on our lives.
Whether we're on the addict side of the fence or the Codie/Anon side of the fence.
We're here because we're working on the unhealthy behaviors that have evolved in our lives due to our exposure to addiction.
Walking what you talk is not exclusive to addicts.
Living your truth is incumbent upon anyone who wants to live an honest life.
That means we are all, Codie/Anons and Addicts alike...responsible for our behavior.
Little good can come from asking others to walk their talk and not doing that same thing ourselves.

[minnie]

Hear, hear.

I am sometimes guilty of being a talker, not a walker. Most often that is because my head knows what to do, but it hasn't reached my heart yet. The beauty of SR is that the journey betwen head and heart is shorter than ever before.

Care for a stroll?

[Hopefloats]

I don't think I will ever quit strolling along Minnie Each day a little bit further down the path...It is that beautiful progress we are all making...
Hope

[goffredo]

I agree completely. The road to recovery is long, but I am willing to walk it. Before SR, Alanon etc, I was not very open and willing to change, to listen, to accept as I was so entrenched in my own convictions. It is refreshing and enriching to be open now, receptive and accepting. I am grateful to my HP for never giving up on me, to myself for taking baby steps every day and to my alcoholic/addict partner, whose disease made me aware of the part I was playing and of the need to start my recovery. Today I am grateful. Love Jo

[Hopefloats]

Thank you all I really posted this with positive intent. I also of course include my little self in all of this Actually it was looking at my behaviors that prompted me to write about this.

I love open discussions where we are just that. Open and honest. Nothing critical about it. I know how at times it appears to be a bit easier than it is until I am or were faced with a situation. Then, to walk that walk was/can be really hard.

I am so grateful for everyone. Our addicts, and us codies who give so much of our life's stories so that we can all help each other along.

I also have to admit. For a very long time I was terribly focused on my daughter, her being the addict in my life. I just keep working hard to keep that spotlight off of her. And because I have to work so dang hard on me, I have greater appreciation for the work that she also has to do.

Thanks again..
Blessings..
Hopefloats

[kathyF]

Boy, I can sure relate to this one Hope:
I was telling my AS how *he* should go to meetings and I hadn't attended not even one in over a year and a half. Thank Goodness I'm back on track. Attending meetings once again, because they're very good for 'me'.

But I'll never tell my AS or anyone else for that matter that meetings are good, if I'm not attending them myself. It's kind of like when I was young and my parents would say "Do as I say...not what I do"...Huh??

Blessings,
kathyF