Give Wisely.

[Dan]

Most of us admit that we were selfish people when we drank. Even when we brought drinks for others, we did so either to seek their approval or in the expectancy that they would return the favor.

Our need in sobriety is to become unselfish by giving freely and cheerfully of ourselves. This, too, has its pitfalls. Feeling guilty about past selfishness, we may go overboard in helping others do things that they need to do for themselves. This can only lead to failure and disillusionment. It is common to hear AA members complain about people who are not in recovery despite help extended to them in finding a job, a place to live, and other necessities.
But in giving, it is not always right to look for a "quid pro quo"… something in return….or even for the others person's recovery and well-being.

It's best to let the giving itself be its own reward. If we feel good about what we have done, we probably are doing the right things. Later on, when additional and unexpected rewards come to us, we can accept them as bonuses.

I can make progress in overcoming selfishness and self-centeredness if I give selflessly to others and take an honest interest in their problems.

From the book Walk in Dry Places.

[Justme57]

Hi Dan

You know , I was the Queen of people pleasers when i was drinking, I tried to buy the acceptance of my family and friends, andat the same time , pshed them away .

I find now, as you have said, that I actually DO have a concern and care for my fellow Alcoholics, and I enjoy giving , in the sense that I like to offer lifts to newbies, as was done for me, and to give of my ESH , now that i have some to give. I found that I have to be careful tho, in the giving of myself, that i dont try to give what I haven't got, or that which i have not replenished. it happened recently, where a member was distressed, and in helping her, i found that i was quite drained myself, and I had to withdraw for a day or 2 .

I get so much joy when someone says they have got something from what I have shared, and I am really filled with joy,, when I see a suffering alkie working at recovery and getting well.

HUGX
Lee