So it goes.

[Dan]

One day, my son brought a gerbil home to live with us. We put it in a cage. Some time later, the gerbil escaped. For the next six months, the animal ran frightened and wild through the house. So did we - chasing it.
"There it is. Get it!" we'd scream, each time someone spotted the gerbil. I, or my son, would throw down whatever we were working on, race across the house, and lunge at the animal hoping to catch it.

I worried about it, even when we didn't see it. "This isn't right," I'd think. "I can't have a gerbil running loose in the house. We've got to catch it. We've got to do something."
A small animal, the size of a mouse had the entire household in a tizzy.
One day, while sitting in the living room, I watched the animal scurry across the hallway. In frenzy, I started to lunge at it, as I usually did, then I stopped myself.

No, I said, I'm all done. If that animal wants to live in the nooks and crannies of this house, I'm going to let it. I'm done worrying about it. I'm done chasing it. It's an irregular circumstance, but that's just the way it's going to have to be.
I let the gerbil run past without reacting. I felt slightly uncomfortable with my new reaction - not reacting - but I stuck to it anyway.
I got more comfortable with my new reaction - not reacting. Before long, I became downright peaceful with the situation. I had stopped fighting the gerbil. One afternoon, only weeks after I started practicing my new attitude, the gerbil ran by me, as it had so many times, and I barely glanced at it. The animal stopped in its tracks, turned around, and looked at me. I started to lunge at it. It started to run away. I relaxed.
"Fine," I said. "Do what you want." And I meant it.

One hour later, the gerbil came and stood by me, and waited. I gently picked it up and placed it in its cage, where it has lived happily ever since. The moral of the story? Don't lunge at the gerbil. He's already frightened, and chasing him just scares him more and makes us crazy.

Detachment works.

Today, I will be comfortable with my new reaction - not reacting. I will feel at peace.


©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

[historyteach]

That's a really good reading today, Dan!
As a codie, with years of practice trying to control my son's addiction, I can relate to it very much. I especially liked the moral:

Don't lunge at the gerbil. He's already frightened, and chasing him just scares him more and makes us crazy.
Detachment works.

Shalom!

[Five]

The author likes the word "animal" doesnt she?

I am glad my "enablers" didnt see me as an animal.

[cwohio]

good story and analogy about detachment - i too can relate!

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by Five

The author likes the word "animal" doesnt she?

I am glad my "enablers" didnt see me as an animal.

I have a gerbil story too. Once, when I was a kid, my brother and I had a gerbil who got away. After tiring of chasing him, we found a dried up 'ol carcass in the heat register about a year later.

But anyway, I get the point. I share my recovery experiences with Pazuzu. If he wants to comment, fine. If not, that's fine too. One thing I will say, is that he actually does listen using this approach. He gets no nagging from me. It ain't the way of it, so long as he doesn't start his *monster mash* routine in front of me. Then I'm more likely to take him down a peg or two with some harsh truths and turn the other way.

The end.