Apologies are in order

[Greenbug]

First I want to apologize for my rash posts lately, I wish I could say its only been here. I am constantly reminded that no matter how much clean time I have I still have allot of run for improvement.

The last few weeks have been so extremely tense for me, with every human emotion running wild. I had a horrible Thanksgiving, I have not been able to sleep, eat, just a wreck. I am completely and utterly overwhelmed with emotion.

I am 24 hours away from having a life long dream realized....Maybe.

I was asked to take over a corporation here in town that is having trouble with there growth. They are growing at 110% for the last two years. I am having so much trouble with this, like does this really happen - and to me? It has been very hard for me to forget I am a 2 time ex con with an 8th grade education, and do I really deserve this opportunity. I have tried to turn it over, and over, and over but I cant help thinking about the long term effects of this if it works. This will be truly life changing for me. If this was something bad I have years of practice handling such things, but something as good as this I have little clue except be patient, stay focused and see what happens.

I was going to share this two weeks ago but thought otherwise, I guess I am a little superstitious. While I know God plan has already been decided in this matter it sure doesn't make it any easier for me. I am DYING to know the outcome.

I am SO FRIGGIN NERVOUS!!!! PINS AND NEEDLES!!!!

I'm sorry if I have offended anyone these last few weeks. Hopefully this will be done tomorrow either way.

~GB

[minnie]

Good luck!!! Let us know how tomorrow goes.

And big kudos for your post - your recovery shines.

[2dayzmuse]

Apology accepted. I appreciate your post.

I'm sorry you have been so stressed out lately. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Good luck in your business endeavors. It sounds as if big congratulations are in order. I'm sure everything will work out fine and you are deserving of such an enormous opportunity. Have faith. Everything for a reason...

[Time2Surrender]

Does this mean you will be getting the Helicopter,Airplane,and Chopper?

[Greenbug]

I will surely keep you posted on what happens. I am truly on unfamiliar territory, my little world which I have been able to maintain some balance with has been completely upset.

I have been everywhere I can think of in addiction, homeless, prison I can handle these things because I have been there already. But its extremely hard to be prepared for the gifts of recovery.

I really had some issues with this post as well, I am not trying to "toot my own horn" I dont like it when others rub there success in my face when they know I am struggling and I surely dont want to do that here.

Its crunch time now and I just want it to end.

[2dayzmuse]

Toot away... Everyone deserves a second chance at life.

[historyteach]

...something as good as this I have little clue except be patient, stay focused and see what happens.

Sounds like a viable plan to me!
Yes, you DO deserve all that's good in this world, including this promotion. All you have to do is accept that you deserve it!
How about talking to your sponsor about this? (If you have one.)
I'm sending my prayers for the your good fortune, and, more importantly, that you finally understand that you are worthy of it.

Shalom!

[Greenbug]

Originally Posted by historyteach

Sounds like a viable plan to me!
Yes, you DO deserve all that's good in this world, including this promotion. All you have to do is accept that you deserve it!
How about talking to your sponsor about this? (If you have one.)
I'm sending my prayers for the your good fortune, and, more importantly, that you finally understand that you are worthy of it.

Shalom!

I don't have one sponsor anymore, he went back out and his contract with God was recalled. I do have many close friends in recovery which I have shared this with.

I moved to a small town where everyone knows everyone, and also starting a new business with my Home Inspection I was not prepared to battle two fronts with the stigma of being a drunk, them not knowing me and trying to recruit work to make a living. That said my meetings take place in the recovery house I volunteer at, everyone is in early recovery. Once I make this move if it all works out it wouldn't matter about my past. The world isn't always fare, I can not change the world but I can change myself to fit into the world. I do hit the occasional outside meeting taking the guys from the house, but under the guise of counselor.

~GB

[Chance]

Apology accepted and I wish you the best, I hope that you do well in your journey and I am sending good thoughts your way. May your HP Bless You.

Love Vic

[Greenbug]

Thanks Vic, my prayers are with you as well.

The big issue for me is this isn't about a promotion, or they hire me if it works great if it doesn't they let me go. They are GIVING me 52% of the entire company. Good, bad or indifferent I am solely responsible for the success or failure of this business. That responsibility is what I am having trouble with. There is two people that have come out of retirement to make this work, and are in no position to start over like I am.

Gods will for me, give me strength in whatever the outcome.

Accepted and good luck GB.

[grumpy_b05]

I wish you lots of luck on your new found journey! You most definatley deserve it!

Grumpy

[Grimnar]

Sending good wishes your way GB!

[Chy]

Fingers and toes crossed and mucho good luck. Thanks for making me smile today.

[Don W]

Hey, GB we've all had our moments. It is easy to go off sometimes. The difficult part is realizing this and not letting it grow. This, you can be proud of doing. When I sobered up, saying, and really meaning it, I'm sorry, or even worse, I was wrong took a lot of practice. I hope you find you're dream. However, the new position is only because you've chosen to change. I have never been in jail but, only because I wasn't caught doing things. Try to think of yourself as what you are today. The more space you put between your past issues I've found make them more distant in others memory also.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

If, you're worried pray

If, you prayed don't worry



good luck

Chris

[Greenbug]

thanks again for everything yesterday, I am moving forward, I am still negotiating. Trying to get some of this debt down before I make it mine.

The person I needed to speak today was sick, but was able to talk with him briefly. This whole thing has been SO emotionally draining, I was ready to just say no yesterday. I feel I have a couple more days to go until I am there again.
Thanks

~GB

[Greenbug]

Great! I think my HP is telling me something. I am snowed in, this is my first time living in the snow. I am in the mountains dont know when the plow dude is going to show up or IF he is going to show up.

SHEET!!!!

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Be thankful for being snowed in always used to enjoy getting a day or so at home during the winter.


A word to the wise, make sure you stock up for times like these in the future.

My kids couldn't get to school because the river was out and it was too icy the other roads. We made snowmen and went sled riding.


Thanks for reminding me of a happy moment from 15 or 16 years ago