I have a question

[chris k]

6. No attacks, insults, or flames - be it on someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, recovery program or whatever. This is one of our most important rules. If you have a problem with somebody, do not flame them on our boards. Take it somewhere else. No flaming of ANY kind is welcome here. The quickest way to get banned from our boards is to break this rule.

How is a thread titled The I hate men club Not an attack on men? It pops up where all can see and men are not to look. I would like an explination from the moderators as to just what the I hate men club has to do with recovery.
I understand that in todays society it is acceptable Man Bash.

[best]

I am a member of the "I HATE WOMENZ CLUB"
and I have been ever since the days when watching Spanky and our gang.

If we are to nitpick and be as politically correct as your question seems to ask us to be... I think I could find fault in 90% of the posts.

Some things are better overlooked and for me...what the women say or post in the privacy of "Their" forum is one area I will always overlook.

[nocellphone]

As a man, why on Earth would I want to know what's going on in an "I hate men" club? All I want to know is where it is, so I can be sure and make a wide berth around it whilst I search for the "I love men and I'm really, really horny" club...

Also, haven't men historically given women puh-lenty of good and justifiable reasons to hate men?

I always find it interesting that, in the English language, there is no corresponding word for "misogyny" (hatred of women) that means "hated of men"... Perhaps these ladies are breaking some new ground in their thread! Somebody get Webster's on the line!

I say---Rock on, Man-hating women of SR!!! You may hate us, but we luv ya!!!

[best]

Originally Posted by nocellphone

...

hahahaha

good answers

[chris k]

Best, my question is not politically correct. In todays society it is ok to belittle men, Its not politically correct belittle women.

Nocellphone, the coresponding word for "misogyny" is "misandry" the hatred of men.

[nocellphone]

Cool!!!

chris, you've educated me tonight! Thank you!!! Although the word is still not in my dictionary (I may write it in. Can I do that?), I never thought to Google it. Oh, look---there're only 44000 results...

Now, I don't want to be pushy here, but any chance you could help me find that other thread I've been searching for (see previous post)?

[chris k]

A quote from a misandry website.



This page is about hate-mongering feminists. I don't understand how these people get to a place where they think that accusing all men of pedophilia or rape is acceptable ... if we joke about killing men, cutting off body parts, brutalizing them? Hey, come on, buddy! Lighten up; it's supposed to be funny! How would your world view get so warped that you begin believing that this is ok? If I were to turn these around, and say the same things about women, there would be a howling of wombs world-wide ... I'd have protesters at my door threatening to bring down the she-god on my head.

[best]

Chris
If I may ask a question of you?

How is this thread helping anyone in their recovery?

I would think the better way of dealing with topics we don't agree with, would be seeking peace from within. The world doesn't always do things to our likeing. In recovery, we are better served by learning how to overcome such displeasures we run across.

I can't fix the world but I can adjust how I react to what the world offers me.

I don't know what the women posted as replies to that thread, nor do I care.
What I do know... if I am acting in a proper manner and anyone (male or female) feels they need to hate me for what ever reason they so want to... Such hate will eat them up, I am not going to let it pull me in. With my side of the street clean, I can walk away with peace in my soul.

[historyteach]

Amen, Best!
And for the record, there are women who are offended by that thread title too -- just as offended as by these treats:

"...hate-mongering feminists..."
"...howling of wombs world-wide ..."
"...she-god..."

Shalom!

[chris k]

Best, to answer your question, I started this thread asking the question what does being a man-hater have to do with recovery. Instead of allowing my question to be answered,you belittled it. I find it offensive. I have the freedom today because I am sober to stand up and say this is unacceptable. Today I try to conduct myself in a respectful manner to the best of my ability. Part of having respect for myself and others means that I dont have to accept unacceptable behavior. When I got sober people had to point out to me that my language was unacceptable. Until it was pointed out I had not given it a thought. Since it was pointed out I have made an effort to clean it up.

[chris k]

I agree, it is offensive , but it is true.

Originally Posted by historyteach

Amen, Best!
And for the record, there are women who are offended by that thread title too -- just as offended as by these treats:


Shalom!

[minnie]

Chris, I don't like it either. In fact, I rarely venture onto that board because it makes me uncomfortable. All or nothing thinking doesn't do it for me, nor does dismissal of a person (in this case a whole group of people) on the basis of behaviour.

Wonder how well a "I hate Jews" or "I hate Blacks" thread would go down.

[Dan]

Sad thing. Big word, hate.
Now, where's that other club 'cellphone's talking about?

[Paulie]

Originally Posted by chris k

Best, to answer your question, I started this thread asking the question what does being a man-hater have to do with recovery. Instead of allowing my question to be answered,you belittled it. I find it offensive. I have the freedom today because I am sober to stand up and say this is unacceptable. Today I try to conduct myself in a respectful manner to the best of my ability. Part of having respect for myself and others means that I dont have to accept unacceptable behavior. When I got sober people had to point out to me that my language was unacceptable. Until it was pointed out I had not given it a thought. Since it was pointed out I have made an effort to clean it up.

Very well said Chris. And as the moderator of WIR I owe you an apology. I should have changed the title/ deleted the thread when it started. Personally I stay away from it, I think it breeds negativity and my disease does not any more help being negative, it does that just fine on it's own.

but you have to remember, everyone does not do as you are tying to do when you say you try to conduct yourself in a respectful manner. And while you are right you do not have to accept unacceptable behavior in recovery we do have to understand that we are all different and some people find things funny that others find disrespectful. I as the moderator have to be careful not to bring only my opinion into things. I have to accept that others are different than I am and that there are things that I just don't have to be a part of.

I thank you for voicing your opinion on the subject. I hope that some of the women that participate on that thread read this and understand that others find it offensive. I have posted that before in others threads that caused some bumps in WIR lately, but no - one seemed to even notice LOL.

Chris, you keep doing what you are doing, voicing your opinions, drawing the line for what is acceptable for you..and you will be just fine. Alot of people around here could learn a few things from you.

[best]

Paulie

Thank you.

I always like it when someone comes along and posts with the eloquence I don't have.

Great post thank you

[Gabe]

Paulie...what Best said.

[nocellphone]

Originally Posted by minnie

Wonder how well a "I hate Jews" or "I hate Blacks" thread would go down.

As a quasi-Jew (I was born Jewish but... it didn't take), could I start a "Self-Hating Jews" thread?

Originally Posted by DangerousDan

Now, where's that other club 'cellphone's talking about?

If you find it and fail to let me know, y'all are gonna see some serious misandry around here!

[Don S]

Ok, I just flagrantly violated the 'rules' and went over and read that entire thread. It is appalling, violates the message board rules at many levels, and reflects really poorly on some of the participants. But as with so many such things on message boards, it is kind of self-correcting: a couple of articulate members pointed out the bigoted thinking and brought the members to task.
The fireworks that would result if it were locked would probably be as bad as the offense created by leaving it. But I wouldn't want my son or daughter reading that and thinking that kind of mindset is in any way related to recovery, or even remotely healthy.
Letting off steam is all fine and dandy. But if they keep joking about being physically abusive to men, someone might want to point out that really isn't funny. Abuse is a reality and not a joking matter. I don't think they'd like to see threads about hitting kids or women anywhere, even in a supposedly protected forum.
Don S

[minnie]

Quite

[Gabe]

Originally Posted by Don S

I don't think they'd like to see threads about hitting kids or women anywhere, even in a supposedly protected forum.

Well said Don, as was your entire post.
And with all due respect to everyone, that is NOT a protected forum.
Supposedly or otherwise.
It's on a public message board and anyone can read it.

[Paulie]

Okay so I just read the thread....well most of it. Like I said in my post yesterday I thought it was ridiculous and a waste of time and energy so I had never participated on it. I guess that makes me a bad mod for not reading it. but today in my life, I try not to go to negative places like that.

To be honest I feel bad for the women posting on that thread. I would never call my H names like that to his face or behind his back no matter how mad I was at him.

But Don...PLEASE stay out of WIR, it is not okay for you to go in there to read something, no matter how curious you are.

But as with so many such things on message boards, it is kind of self-correcting: a couple of articulate members pointed out the bigoted thinking and brought the members to task.
The fireworks that would result if it were locked would probably be as bad as the offense created by leaving it.

Yep. But I promise to keep a better eye on it from now on. I apologize for not doing that from the beginning. I truly thought it would just get buried and go away. I should have been wiser and realized that negativity often sticks more than the positive stuff. And you are right...nothing to do with recovery and not even funny to me.