In a slump... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

ChrisMan · 07-13-2005, 09:44 AM

Hi everyone...

I am in an emotional slump right now...the bizarre thing is, I have over 3 months of sobriety, and everything seems to be going pretty well. But I have been getting down on myself. Also I am doing the "pity party" thing, saying things like, "why me, why me. Why do I need to go to groups and go to therapy when so many other people don't need to? Why must I be burdened with this? Why do I have to be an addict? Why me?"

I know where all this can lead so I am trying to turn things around and think positively. But I have this nagging self pity which makes me sort of emotionally tired, worn out. I don't want it to get worse. Anyone have similar experiences and any suggestions?

ChrisMan

FaeryQueen · 07-13-2005, 10:14 AM

Chris
The only thing that works for me when I am in self-pity is to get out of self....AND FAST. The longer I wait the worse it gets. When I am feeling sorry for myself I call my friend who is struggling with cancer, I visit the humane society, I call someone in sobriety, I share at meetings, I go see my Grandpa in the nursing home, I cook something for my parents, I take my girls to a movie....ANYTHING! GET OUT OF SELF....whatever it takes. ACTION ACTION ACTION.

DanaNicole29 · 07-13-2005, 10:46 AM

This is how I look at things to keep me out of the "Pity Party": Make a specific list of things you are grateful for and then read it. After you read it, think to yourself, would I have ever thought to be grateful for these things if I never was an addict or an alcoholic in recovery? Most "normal" people out there don't know what it's like to be grateful for waking up without pain or regret, or the feel of the sun on our skin, or the fresh breeze after it rains. It's a whole new world out there when you have been sober for a bit and I am truly grateful to be able to notice it almost as children do naturally. This is a gift not a curse, try to look at it that way.
Best Wishes

CAPTAINZING2000 · 07-13-2005, 12:33 PM

Chris,

welcome to the wonderful world of recovery the train is gettin ready to leave the station.

FaeryQueen said it best, get out of your self and into action. A pity party is a lonely party. It's better to be out among positive people.

Get you a goal to work on. What would you like to be doing in the near future?

My whole world has been changed of late. The place i work for has been sold. The new company doesn't have a pension plan just a 401k. I don't have the extra cash right now to invest. 3 years from now, I'll be debt free until that, I can't invest in my retirement

3 months is new in recovery, it will get easier. You'll still have $hitty days but, you'll get thru them

ChrisMan · 07-14-2005, 01:16 PM

Wow, thanks for all the suggestions. "Get out of self, and fast" I think is one I really need to try right away!

Don W · 07-15-2005, 07:49 AM

Hi Chrisman, I can understand you problem. I've got a little over 2 years and have been in a slump for about two weeks. Overall things are OK but, have a few problems. Some not, and some of, my own doing. I've been going to extra meetings. However, I've done some self inventory work. This has helped identify some of the problems. One problem I myself have had and can see the return is engaging in controversy. Although I might be right in the toughts, I must not let myself be swayed from my issues. Sometimes, because I feel better I try to make the world better. Anyway, my suggestion is that you take an honest personal inventory. One other thing I wasn't going to mention but, I will. Some of the problems I've got I tried to solve by falling back to past behavior. Drinking I had alot of hoensty problems. When I fall back on these my recovery suffers. Just talking to you has made me see that I've been going through a" Dry Drunk". Anyothers have this problem at times? That being the only thing missing is the alcohol in your actions and behaviors. Positive action I guess is the answer. For me anyway. Don W

hopealwayz · 07-15-2005, 07:54 AM

Chris,

I've experienced the same thing. I think it just happens no matter how much sobriety one has. Remember that it does pass, but until then jump right into action and focus on other things such as helping other people.

I agree with Dana and her view of this being a gift and not a curse.
We are able to experience the small joys that normal people never realize. I didn't start enjoying life until I began to recover from addiction and I realized that this is the first time I have ever "really" lived.
It is a blessing in disguise.

Take care,
Cheryl

Time2Surrender · 07-15-2005, 08:12 AM

Do you have a sponsor Chris? If not,get one.Maybe this is a good time to do a fourth step.Also,going to the gym really puts me in a good state of mind.

**CarolD** · 07-15-2005, 09:07 PM

good answers Chris...just thought I would also add my tips...

When I feel blue.....I do some or all of these....

Put on jazzy music..sing and dance around the room

Pray....Take a bubble bath...Go for a walk

Cook Chili.....Read the Big Book or Bible

Spray on perfume, slather on make up, wear red

Eat Ice Cream....Call a friend....Go to an AA meeting

07-13-2005, 09:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
ChrisMan Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 398	In a slump... Hi everyone... I am in an emotional slump right now...the bizarre thing is, I have over 3 months of sobriety, and everything seems to be going pretty well. But I have been getting down on myself. Also I am doing the "pity party" thing, saying things like, "why me, why me. Why do I need to go to groups and go to therapy when so many other people don't need to? Why must I be burdened with this? Why do I have to be an addict? Why me?" I know where all this can lead so I am trying to turn things around and think positively. But I have this nagging self pity which makes me sort of emotionally tired, worn out. I don't want it to get worse. Anyone have similar experiences and any suggestions? ChrisMan __________________ "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -- Philo

07-13-2005, 10:14 AM	#2 (permalink)
FaeryQueen Dreamlike...Now Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 707	Chris The only thing that works for me when I am in self-pity is to get out of self....AND FAST. The longer I wait the worse it gets. When I am feeling sorry for myself I call my friend who is struggling with cancer, I visit the humane society, I call someone in sobriety, I share at meetings, I go see my Grandpa in the nursing home, I cook something for my parents, I take my girls to a movie....ANYTHING! GET OUT OF SELF....whatever it takes. ACTION ACTION ACTION. __________________ "I don't do drugs. I am drugs." Dali

07-13-2005, 10:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
DanaNicole29 Forever In Recovery, Dana Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Duluth,MN Posts: 93	The Gifts of Sobriety This is how I look at things to keep me out of the "Pity Party": Make a specific list of things you are grateful for and then read it. After you read it, think to yourself, would I have ever thought to be grateful for these things if I never was an addict or an alcoholic in recovery? Most "normal" people out there don't know what it's like to be grateful for waking up without pain or regret, or the feel of the sun on our skin, or the fresh breeze after it rains. It's a whole new world out there when you have been sober for a bit and I am truly grateful to be able to notice it almost as children do naturally. This is a gift not a curse, try to look at it that way. Best Wishes __________________ "When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change"

07-13-2005, 12:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,446 Blog Entries: 1	Chris, welcome to the wonderful world of recovery the train is gettin ready to leave the station. FaeryQueen said it best, get out of your self and into action. A pity party is a lonely party. It's better to be out among positive people. Get you a goal to work on. What would you like to be doing in the near future? My whole world has been changed of late. The place i work for has been sold. The new company doesn't have a pension plan just a 401k. I don't have the extra cash right now to invest. 3 years from now, I'll be debt free until that, I can't invest in my retirement 3 months is new in recovery, it will get easier. You'll still have $hitty days but, you'll get thru them __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

07-14-2005, 01:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
ChrisMan Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 398	Wow, thanks for all the suggestions. "Get out of self, and fast" I think is one I really need to try right away! __________________ "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -- Philo

07-15-2005, 07:49 AM	#6 (permalink)
Don W Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Charleston S.C. Posts: 1,463	Hi Chrisman, I can understand you problem. I've got a little over 2 years and have been in a slump for about two weeks. Overall things are OK but, have a few problems. Some not, and some of, my own doing. I've been going to extra meetings. However, I've done some self inventory work. This has helped identify some of the problems. One problem I myself have had and can see the return is engaging in controversy. Although I might be right in the toughts, I must not let myself be swayed from my issues. Sometimes, because I feel better I try to make the world better. Anyway, my suggestion is that you take an honest personal inventory. One other thing I wasn't going to mention but, I will. Some of the problems I've got I tried to solve by falling back to past behavior. Drinking I had alot of hoensty problems. When I fall back on these my recovery suffers. Just talking to you has made me see that I've been going through a" Dry Drunk". Anyothers have this problem at times? That being the only thing missing is the alcohol in your actions and behaviors. Positive action I guess is the answer. For me anyway. Don W __________________ Captain America - On the side of good

07-15-2005, 07:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
hopealwayz Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: somewhere Posts: 3,509	Chris, I've experienced the same thing. I think it just happens no matter how much sobriety one has. Remember that it does pass, but until then jump right into action and focus on other things such as helping other people. I agree with Dana and her view of this being a gift and not a curse. We are able to experience the small joys that normal people never realize. I didn't start enjoying life until I began to recover from addiction and I realized that this is the first time I have ever "really" lived. It is a blessing in disguise. Take care, Cheryl

07-15-2005, 08:12 AM	#8 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7	Do you have a sponsor Chris? If not,get one.Maybe this is a good time to do a fourth step.Also,going to the gym really puts me in a good state of mind.

07-15-2005, 09:07 PM	#9 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 34,835	So many good answers Chris...just thought I would also add my tips... When I feel blue.....I do some or all of these.... Put on jazzy music..sing and dance around the room Pray....Take a bubble bath...Go for a walk Cook Chili.....Read the Big Book or Bible Spray on perfume, slather on make up, wear red Eat Ice Cream....Call a friend....Go to an AA meeting __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

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