Feeling stuck - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

mendingheart · 06-17-2005, 01:04 PM

I am struggling today, my abf is in one of his no energy no talk phases,poor me..and I am just tired of the whole thing. He usually does a disappearing act when he is using and full of chos due to his own behaviors. I am trying to hold off, and giving him and myself some hope, he is going to the doctor next week to try a second round of detoxing. I have listened to his agenda over and over, and it seems like those with all the drama in his life get all of his attention. All the dysfunction sucks the life from him, and then there is me, I get the left overs. They appear to be short, as he is wiped out from dealing with outside issues......(things a healthy person does on a daily basis and is fine with it, work, family chaos) The addiction rules everything he does, and all the juggling to keep the scripts coming makes him exhausted even more.
I know he has his friend helping with the scripts....and I say damn those on line pharmacies!!!!!!
I just do not feel like doing a darn thing today, and I feel angry at myself for letting his actions control my day. I am feeling stuck....I feel really strong at times, and know I do not need this, and well today, I am wishing for just a call to hear his voice. Pretty pathetic place to be in huh?
I know this will pass, but I cannot seem to get my butt out of this one .
Any words for me? ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am hiding uner the sunglasses today, and pulling the covers over my head.

**Ann** · 06-17-2005, 02:45 PM

Mendingheart, I'm sorry he is struggling and I hope he carries through with the detox.

The thing is, he may just want to lie around and be quiet but that doesn't mean you have to just sit around also. Do something you'd like to do. Call a friend and go to a movie, go for a coffee with someone, go to a meeting and out afterwards with friends from there, visit family...just anything that gets you into better space. You don't have to sit in the darkness with him.

Hope tomorrow is better for both of you.

Hugs
Ann

mendingheart · 06-17-2005, 07:01 PM

Ann,
Thanks for the message of hope! I know what I need to do, but sometimes I just cannot quite get there.
Thanks for sending what I needed.
mendingheart

06-17-2005, 01:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
mendingheart Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: home sweet home Posts: 281	Feeling stuck I am struggling today, my abf is in one of his no energy no talk phases,poor me..and I am just tired of the whole thing. He usually does a disappearing act when he is using and full of chos due to his own behaviors. I am trying to hold off, and giving him and myself some hope, he is going to the doctor next week to try a second round of detoxing. I have listened to his agenda over and over, and it seems like those with all the drama in his life get all of his attention. All the dysfunction sucks the life from him, and then there is me, I get the left overs. They appear to be short, as he is wiped out from dealing with outside issues......(things a healthy person does on a daily basis and is fine with it, work, family chaos) The addiction rules everything he does, and all the juggling to keep the scripts coming makes him exhausted even more. I know he has his friend helping with the scripts....and I say damn those on line pharmacies!!!!!! I just do not feel like doing a darn thing today, and I feel angry at myself for letting his actions control my day. I am feeling stuck....I feel really strong at times, and know I do not need this, and well today, I am wishing for just a call to hear his voice. Pretty pathetic place to be in huh? I know this will pass, but I cannot seem to get my butt out of this one . Any words for me? ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am hiding uner the sunglasses today, and pulling the covers over my head. __________________ PEACE. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in you heart. TODAY IS A GIFT....

06-17-2005, 02:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,141	Mendingheart, I'm sorry he is struggling and I hope he carries through with the detox. The thing is, he may just want to lie around and be quiet but that doesn't mean you have to just sit around also. Do something you'd like to do. Call a friend and go to a movie, go for a coffee with someone, go to a meeting and out afterwards with friends from there, visit family...just anything that gets you into better space. You don't have to sit in the darkness with him. Hope tomorrow is better for both of you. Hugs Ann __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

06-17-2005, 07:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
mendingheart Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: home sweet home Posts: 281	Ann, Thanks for the message of hope! I know what I need to do, but sometimes I just cannot quite get there. Thanks for sending what I needed. mendingheart __________________ PEACE. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in you heart. TODAY IS A GIFT....

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