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Old 06-11-2005, 05:35 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: opposite of heaven
Posts: 4
Thought's

I'm always asking myself...why do I drink? I've heard people say that it has something to do with masking our pain.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I've contemplated upon this, and I've asked myself, "what pain am I masking?"

I've always patted myself on the back because I believed that I had this "great" ability to just let things go, and I never dwelled on the past. I believed that I had no pain to mask. So, I tell myself that I just enjoy drinking...that always works...until I'm going through the DT's and experiencing a living hell. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>

So today, I'm asking myself the question again..."What am I masking with alcohol?"<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

And BAM! The answer was right in front of my face...<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I'd rather not elaborate on this realization right now.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I just know that I have to make some major changes in every aspect of my life...one step at a time.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Feeling a bit overwhelmed...
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Old 06-11-2005, 05:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi and Welcome,

It sounds like you had a revelation. I didn't realize how much work I was putting into hiding from my feelings either, until I stopped drinking. I had to look at myself and realize that there were things about me that I was just not accepting and it was causing me a lot of problems. I had to begin to accept myself the way I am and it was overwhelming. I had to let go of so many of my beliefs. But, the good thing is that now the person I am on the outside is the same as the person on the inside. And, that's a great feeling.

Keep visiting.

Anna
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There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end.


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