Message Boards and Forums Directory

Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > All About Recovery > What is Recovery?
Forgot Password? Join Us!
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read Chat Room [5]


Welcome to the Sober Recovery Community

Already registered? Login above ---^

OR

To take advantage of all the site’s features, become a member of the supportive Sober Recovery Community. Ads will no longer appear on the forums if you are a registered user



Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-03-2005, 03:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
Dan
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,710
Emotional Relocation.

Most of us may have heard of geographical relocation. The concept has its advocates and also its detractors.

What about emotional relocation? Just for me, I know that my drinking and using was first and foremost to run away from myself. If I didn't like something, someone, of the way I felt at any given moment, I acted on it the best way I knew how, or I planned the next opportunity to do so. It's what I did.
Nope, don't wanna deal with this. Better blow it out of my mind right away.

So I finally find a way and the willingness to sober up. Yay!
And all the same things, people, and emotions I used to run away from are still there.
'xcept they're magnified large now, 'cause I'm conscious

Sober for a bit, and I'm just now only stopping to 'act out' in some of these situations. Make no mistake; I think some of us continue to exhibit addict/ alcoholic behavior long after the last call. I sure do.

So I was thinking that emotional relocation, or a re-shaping of my outlook and expectations is probably a good thing.

Yeah Dan, that's what the twelve steps are for...


I know.

What about the brothers and sisters who do it without the steps?
Let's all share how we get a handle on what made us do the things we did.
Or still do, for that matter.
Dan is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 06:23 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
exzim's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 94
Emotional Relocation

Thank you for posting this Dan.

If there is a way for me to relocate - geographically, emotionally, mentally and even physically - I have done it. And if I'm honest I still do it - but thankfully to a lesser extent now.

I must live in the moment, work through the pain and face everything head on, that life brings me. It's just so much easier to escape for a short while!!

Maggie
__________________
A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle. Unknown

Don't wait for people to be kind, show them how. Unknown
exzim is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 06:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
In Memory Of
 
In memory of miracle's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,738
Therapy and lot's of it!
__________________
In Memory Of

Teach only love...

In memory of miracle is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 06:34 AM   #4 (permalink)
Miss Behavin'
 
wantneeda's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 975
This is the first example that comes to mind for me...
When i was going from detox to treatment...i had to travel from a small town to the city that i did all my using in...i was so scared!!! Honestly, as soon as i saw the city looming up large in the distance i started having an anxiety attack. My councilor who was driving told me Wendy, You're not going to Regina...you're going to the center. That helped.It changed my perspective and kept me on track of what my purpose was.
To me that was the beginning of relocating emotionally.
Today i can take what people say with agrain of salt and not get all bent out of shape...or at least bend myself back somewhat when i realize what i'm doing. For example my ex...i used to have screaming matches on the phone with him. Today i can relocate my emotions and remember that he is a sick person, he doesn't have the knowledge and tools i've learned along the journey i've found myself. I can sooner get a grip on my emotions and simply end the conversation instead of making myself crazy.
Yep, a work in progress. Do I still exhibit my old tactics...absolutely, the difference is i can see it!!
\\//Wendy
__________________
nothin' changes if nothin' changes
wantneeda is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 06:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
the girl can't help it
 
splendra's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,495
Blog Entries: 3
One thing that keeps me located Dan is to realize it is my own thinking that will either make or break me and nobody else is going to make me change and I can't make anyone else change.

I took my mind out of the witness protection program and saw that what I was running from is long gone...
__________________
nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
splendra is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 06:51 AM   #6 (permalink)
Ann
Forum Leader
 
Ann's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 25,227
I think that codependents like me do much the same thing, only substance was never the burial ground to hide our pain.

Before recovery, I never knew what to do with pain except to feel it, and most tmes it just hurt too much. So I found ways to bury it or deny it by distracting myself with something that felt good but that often was not particularly healthy. Or I would deny my own problems by focusing on someone else's, as is very common for codies like me. I spent many years trying to separate my son from his addiction and the more I focused on his pain, the less I acknowledged my own.

Like exzim, I have learned to acknowledge my pain, face it head on and work my way through it. I see it for what it is today, and have tools now to find a healthy way to deal with it and be done with it.

And today when I choose to do things that feel good, I make healthy choices and have added a new dimension to my life that is positive and where I can be happy. There will always be pain in my life, life is just like that, but today I can balance it with gratitude for all that is good.

Hugs
Ann
__________________
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~
Ann is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 07:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
Chy
Member
 
Chy's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,867
Boy that's how I justified it on a daily basis. All in my head 24/7 whatever ailed me or made me happy (which wasn't often) I found it to be emotionally fulfilling (so I thought). Though I don't have any horrors of my past I tried to escape from it was simply myself I was running from and alcohol gave me a daily reprieve from that constant running.
Chy is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 07:39 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
lonlion's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 423
Great thread, lots to think about.

I love the "took my mind out of the witness protection plan".

Have a great day my friends
Diana
__________________
WHEN WE SPEND TOO MUCH TIME LOOKING IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR, IT TAKES OUR FOCUS OFF THE ROAD AHEAD, AND WE CAN CRASH
lonlion is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 07:49 AM   #9 (permalink)
Chy
Member
 
Chy's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,867
Quote:
Originally Posted by DangerousDan
:
What about the brothers and sisters who do it without the steps?
I think this will be the umpteenth time this week I've mentioned this, but What about the sober non-AA? Hell I applaud them am happy for them, ask them how they did it, how they can help another with no interest in AA, share it, but mostly just damn happy they did it .. no matter the way.
Chy is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 09:00 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Phinneas's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,614
Emotional Relocation - awesome! For me, it's not that I don't still go there (getting stuck in the problem, thoughts spinning in my head, emotional overload, feelings of doubt, self-pity, unworthiness, etc.), it's that I don't stay there as long. I know how to get out of these feelings when they arise. I use the tools of recovery like prayer, meditation, journaling, calling my sponsor or a recovery friend, reading a spiritual book, or just distracting myself with something positive like exercise or cleaning my house. Breaking it down to a simple two-step process, it means 1) asking g-d for a shift in my thinking / feeling / attitude, and then 2) reaching out to help someone else. Taking the focus off of myself is huge. And, this is a great example of the choice we all have as to whether to stay in the problem or to live the solution.

One of my first CD councelors used to always say, "An addict stuck in her head is is a baaad neighborhood." So, so true.

--phinny
__________________
If ten people tell you that you have a tail... you might want to turn around and look.
Phinneas is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 09:55 AM   #11 (permalink)
Putting it all together
 
Kahlia's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 469
Lightbulb Relocating?????

Well, this is a great topic. I would just LEAVE, really. Wherever I was at, Just LEAVE. I never dealt with anything, too hurtful and I never wanted to cry, too painful and too emotional. Always the strong girl.....WRONG. I went through a very intense therapy program for survivors of homicide etc. It MADE me look at my emotions. I had NO other choice but to start talking and kept doing it until I am now done with all the OLD baggage. I have put the bags away.....YEA. Thank you for letting me remember the old times......kahlia
__________________
To be idle is a short road to death-to be diligent is a short road to life-BUDDAH

We are defined by moments we cannot reclaim........
Kahlia is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2005, 10:36 AM   #12 (permalink)
Miss Behavin'
 
wantneeda's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 975
Here's another one..
I heard this at a meeting
My head is like an apartment building...for those i'm giving my power away to(those nasty resentments) I've learned to give an eviction notice...they don't pay rent!
I know Dan, i too kept trying to run from myself but every where i went there I was!!!
And ya, nothing has changed out in the 'real world'.
I'm learning to take the T off of can't!!
__________________
nothin' changes if nothin' changes
wantneeda is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:32 PM.


 
National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers
 
Drug Rehab | Best Treatment Center | Detox Center | Treatment Center | Cocaine Treatment | Alcohol Rehab | Heroin Treatment Center | Oxycontin Treatment Center | Crystal Meth Treatment
 
Local Treatment Resources and Events
 
Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | DC | Delaware | Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire
New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island | South Carolina | South Dakota Tennesee | Texas Utah | Vermont Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming

© 2011 Recovery Marketing Services, Inc.
A proud member of the SoberRecovery® Network of Addiction and Recovery Websites


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112