The term "normy"

[mdeso123]

Greetings all,

I'm an addict in my first 6 months of recovery (clean date is 1/20/2005). I am grateful to have found a narcotics anonymous fellowship in my area and have been going to meetings to support my sobriety and stay clean. I feel like I have a new lease on life!

I've had some things kind of tugging at me and thought I would seek other peoples thoughts. More than once, I've talked with group members and in passing they've referred to my girlfriend as a "normy". I had to sit on that for a bit for it to start bugging me but now it is. I do intend on going to my group members and ask them for clarification but I wanted to do that here as well.

It bugs me and I think this is the reason that it does: I think that there are those that may think that if you are not specifically in a 12 step program then you will not/cannot grow and find your potential as a human being. They differentiate between sobriety and abstinence. I know that there is a difference, abstinence for me was when i used my own will to try and stay clean and not seek help from my god, program members and the step work.

However, I do believe that other people can, have and will attain enlightenment and a sense of spirituality outside of 12 step recovery. Long before there was 12 step there was spiritual practice around the world and I find that some in the group seem to believe that the only enlightened people are those that come into the rooms. When we read in our meetings we also read this, "There is one thing more than anything else that will defeat us in our recovery; this is an attitude of indifference or intolerance toward spiritual principles. Three of these that are indispensible are honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. With these we are well on our way." If we are going to be open minded about our recovery and how this program works for us, then we should and must be open minded about the fact that it may not work for others, and that there are MANY different paths to enlightenment and serenity.

I am not discouraged by this. I would hope that by writing here and opening this up to conversation that we, as loving open minded individuals can encourage each other and inspire each other to grow and have that open mindedness we speak of in our meetings.

This is my first posting here in this forum, and I look forward to a healthy, happy discourse!

God Bless,
Mark

[jbm125]

Hi mdeso, I think anyone who's never been addicted is way ahead of me as far as maturity, potential for growth and a general appreciation of life. Anyone who's never been addicted is probably already honest, open minded and willing. And smart enuf to stay away from overconsumption. My motto in active addiction was "anything worth doing is worth overdoing". People who've never been addicted know moderation is the key. I wish I'd been a "normy". God bless.

[Chy]

Originally Posted by mdeso123

Greetings all,


However, I do believe that other people can, have and will attain enlightenment and a sense of spirituality outside of 12 step recovery. Long before there was 12 step there was spiritual practice around the world and I find that some in the group seem to believe that the only enlightened people are those that come into the rooms. When we read in our meetings we also read this, "There is one thing more than anything else that will defeat us in our recovery; this is an attitude of indifference or intolerance toward spiritual principles. Three of these that are indispensible are honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. With these we are well on our way." If we are going to be open minded about our recovery and how this program works for us, then we should and must be open minded about the fact that it may not work for others, and that there are MANY different paths to enlightenment and serenity.....

.....I am not discouraged by this. God Bless,
Mark

Hi Mark and welcome!

I can't agree more... nicely said. AA was all that I was aware of when I sought out a recovery option, I went and have stayed. However, and I'm repeating myself from another post. Given the diversity, beliefs, values, cultures that are prevelant in our world in my opinion it is unreasonable to assume there is only ONE way that will work. This community has opened my eyes to the various options now available for people in need of help. It doesn't matter to me how you did it so long as you did, for that I applaud anyone, no matter their program of choice. What's important to me is "your" way is working and if it works for you then it most certainly has the potential to work for someone else. There are millions of us still suffering still looking for an answer and I think when asked I'll share my way but also offer the other options that may be more in tune to an individual values, beliefs and culture should they decide AA is not for them.

Congrats to you on 6 months! Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more!

[Gooch]

"normal" is a setting on the dyer . lol the normal people I know are diverse, interesting, and not without their own special "quirks". They also illuminate for me some of the ways that I might have learned to do things had I never ventured to change the way I was feeling by using anything ecternal for short term gratification.

My friend says there's many trails to the mountain top. The one I find myself on is only that. The climber next to me may get there before or after I do but the goal and teh result will be the same.

[Cap3]

Ive always understood the term "normy" to be normal drinkers.When i look at all the folks in my life alcoholics and non-alcoholics,normal doesnt come into my mind,,lol.All the crazy,wonderful ill-logical folks.Gota luv them..My perception of course...smile..

[Chy]

...oh yes, forgot, normy.. people who don't drink like me, people who don't crave, obsess, need, and have the ability to stop, normal drinkers if you will but that's one term I understand but don't often throw around as I think I'm pretty normal with one exception. We're all a tad flawed in some area of our life even the "normies"

[Kahlia]

I can honestly say that I truly believe there is NO "normy" or normal person. I think that everbody has a set of values, ideals and can think for themselves. IF they can drink "normally'...good for them. I can't. I think that whatever may be normal for one is abnormal for another. You put it all together very well Mark........kahlia....stilll very abnormal....and trying to reach the top of the mountain still.........