Trust

[Ann]

~ Trust ~

When there is trust between two people, miracles can happen. I believe there is no greater experience, no finer feeling than being able to be fully yourself without being judged, critiqued, or mistrusted. When your partner is on the same page as you, trusting you with the same intensity, then love flourishes.

And when trust has been broken, the magic stops. We contract and become fearful, mistrusting, and doubtful. We all know instinctively when there is trust and when there is not. But what are the elements that build trust? Here are some of the attitudes and behaviors I've seen operating in successful relationships in my practice. These simple steps you can take to build or rebuild trust in your partnership.

Keep your word ... walk your talk.

Tell the truth ... always.

Be open ... and willing to be vulnerable.

Share your heart ... and listen to the other's.

Criticize constructively.

Temper your temper.

Surrender graciously.

Understand ... and be kind.


Catherine Cardinal
The Ten Commandments of Relationships

[Don W]

Thanks Ann, Trust was such a important missing element in my drinking life. This was true both trusting and trusted. Little by little we learn trust by doing something strange for us. Opening up and taking a chance. This is perfect concerning the NYC trip we've been talking about. I'm taking a chance and meeting people without having to control the situation. With SR, I've had the security of logging off, and never returning. Likeing the person or being liked as the person we've presented in print. Also, understanding, that just like on SR and real life we might not like some or some might not like us. However, this has been a difficult lesson for many of us. That is learning that this is OK. It dosen't make myself or others bad for not liking each other. What made me wrong before was dislikeing or not trusting for the wrong reason, even no reason. For me, just someone being happy, even a stranger on the bus, was reason to believe they were not to be trusted, or they must not trust me. I am going to have to put a face on Don, the person I've posted about. Being in recovery, this isn't a problem. I'm no longer two people, if that makes sense. I know longer have to hide one from the other. Most of all, I can put trust in my thoughts, action and words. Today, I want to be trusted and I want to trust. Being hurt from this trust, I can't allow a return to a past life. I can no longer paint with a broad brush. Don W

[Ann]

Nice post, Don, and I'm so happy you will be making the new York trip. I won't be there but my heart will be with each one of you. I think you already all know each other and putting a face on the name is just icing on the cake. Have fun.

Hugs
Ann