It getting better all the time - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

True Blue · 04-29-2005, 09:42 AM

Oh my it is good to be back on-line and able to talk to people just like me.

I quit going to meetings in Nov. My sponser moved out of state and I did not feel right anymore being the only women there. We started having a lot of strange ones coming to the meetings. And I was tired of having to make the coffee and clean up after all of them. LOL (just joking here.)

In Nov after my little lost week-end I started really thinking about my life.
The humilation and shame I felt back in Sept. 2003. I never ever want go back to that way of non-living. Dang we make a mess of our life when we are in active addiction. It feels so good to be able to look at people in the eye again.

You know I keep thinking back at all the demons I was running from. And how they keep chasing me, until I fianlly stoped and faced them head on. They were not as bad as my head made them out to be. Funny how the old head works.

This past Jan. I was asked to sit with a 96 year old women who was dying in the hospital. She had no family her only son died when he was 12 years old. Any way being with this beautful old women touched me so much. I felt as though I was in the pressence of God her last few days on earth.

2 weeks later I was asked to go to work for a local merchant who knew all about my drug addiction and stealing from my dear friend and former boss. My new boss told me that God told her to hire me. She is a very spirtual person. I think being with the old lady and getting my job are connected.

Thank you all for letting me share. I hope and pray that if you are fighting to win your addiction that you will be able to face youself and win the battle.

Facing oneself I think was the hardest thing.

Just another addict with her armor on. God Bless you all.

angelgirl · 04-29-2005, 01:31 PM

Thanks Trueblue, it is sooo nice to have reminders, from people in recovery, that it is very difficult, we all know that, but that it can be managed by using the right "tools" for recovery

Thanks, I need to hear this today. Luv, Becky

Roxann · 04-29-2005, 03:52 PM

Thank you for sharing that TB. What a positive upbeat story. I am so glad things are going well for you.

indigo · 04-30-2005, 11:32 AM

My heart is singing for you True.

hugs indigo
PS I forgot to say I do have one daughter as well as the three boys!

04-29-2005, 09:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
True Blue Pray For Our Troops Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,138	It getting better all the time Oh my it is good to be back on-line and able to talk to people just like me. I quit going to meetings in Nov. My sponser moved out of state and I did not feel right anymore being the only women there. We started having a lot of strange ones coming to the meetings. And I was tired of having to make the coffee and clean up after all of them. LOL (just joking here.) In Nov after my little lost week-end I started really thinking about my life. The humilation and shame I felt back in Sept. 2003. I never ever want go back to that way of non-living. Dang we make a mess of our life when we are in active addiction. It feels so good to be able to look at people in the eye again. You know I keep thinking back at all the demons I was running from. And how they keep chasing me, until I fianlly stoped and faced them head on. They were not as bad as my head made them out to be. Funny how the old head works. This past Jan. I was asked to sit with a 96 year old women who was dying in the hospital. She had no family her only son died when he was 12 years old. Any way being with this beautful old women touched me so much. I felt as though I was in the pressence of God her last few days on earth. 2 weeks later I was asked to go to work for a local merchant who knew all about my drug addiction and stealing from my dear friend and former boss. My new boss told me that God told her to hire me. She is a very spirtual person. I think being with the old lady and getting my job are connected. Thank you all for letting me share. I hope and pray that if you are fighting to win your addiction that you will be able to face youself and win the battle. Facing oneself I think was the hardest thing. Just another addict with her armor on. God Bless you all. __________________ Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles." Samuel Smiles Last edited by True Blue; 04-29-2005 at 11:49 AM.

04-29-2005, 01:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,190	Thanks Trueblue, it is sooo nice to have reminders, from people in recovery, that it is very difficult, we all know that, but that it can be managed by using the right "tools" for recovery Thanks, I need to hear this today. Luv, Becky __________________ â„¢ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own. :praying

04-29-2005, 03:52 PM	#3 (permalink)
Roxann Learning to love me. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: on my way Posts: 621	Thank you for sharing that TB. What a positive upbeat story. I am so glad things are going well for you. __________________ Roxann I'm struggling!!!

04-30-2005, 11:32 AM	#4 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	My heart is singing for you True. hugs indigo PS I forgot to say I do have one daughter as well as the three boys! __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

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