Just relapsed after 3 years......HELP!

[ncwcgrl99]

Hi there, I guess I am kind of new to this but I need someone to talk to because I dont have a lot of support around me, so I figured I would write it. I used to be a cocaine addict and marijuana addict. I had been clean for 3 years of any drug use until this past weekend. I took 3 hits of marijuana and I am just so down on myself. I am so mad that I would risk everything and do that. I have accomplished all my goals...and even surpassed them and then I go and do this and think to myself, why the hell would I do this. Why would I want to jeopardize my job, my family, my friends....just to get high. As you can tell Im pretty down right now.....and not quite sure what to do. Any encouragement would help greatly. I went to an AA meeting last night, and it helped a little bit.

[greenbeen]

hey don't beat yourself up over it. i have the same prolem and i am coming back around to A.A also. I can't seem to get past the 8 month hump so having 3 years was impressive. just remember " relapsing doesn't mean you lost all your knowledge of how to be sober. You just wre not using it."

[51anna]

Just try to focus on the three years of success and keep that in your mind. You did that and you can do it again. Keep visiting SR. There's lots of support here.

Love, Anna

[tyler]

By my calculations if you have been clean for 3 years that is about 1100 days. You smoked 3 hits of pot on one day. It is much more important to concentrate on the 1099 days you were clean than the one that you used. I am not belittling your use by any means, pot was my DOC, so I know how tough it can be, but don't lose sight of the forrest from the trees (what ever the hell that means!!! ) You used. It's over. Don't use again. Take a look at the situation that made you use, the feelings you felt, and the reasons you did it, so if the situation comes up again you can make a different choice. Don't beat yourself up over this, that just leads to that thinking that, "I'm just an addict, I may as well just use, that's what I do." Use it as a learning experience and move on. 3 years is great, I don't even have 3 months yet!! Take care, and take it easy on yourself.

[nutz]

if we didn't have this problem of getting high no matter what
we wouldn't be addict's , would we ?

Cunning, baffling, Power and INCURABLE...and sometimes fatal.
baffle??
the disease tells us it okey to get high
and after we get high it tells us we're pieces of shiet!, so we
want to get high again and on gose the cycle of insanity and destruction.
pretty cunning...yes?
and you know how we like to beat up on ourselve or that guilt and shame
stuff.
So...give yourself a break. learn from it,
forgive yourself...you know the program.
oneday at a time, I'm clean today.
today is all I have , and I'll ever have.( a daily reprieve)
keep coming back no matter what.

I relapsed after 11 years of being clean and sober.
I got drunk for two weeks.
I never lost those 11 years . Nothing can take that way from me.
It's said and done.
I'm here now, still alive, still kicking, still loving
still laughing, still learning, still greatful, have plenty of friends
and more friends.

Actually I'm one of the lucky ones...I'm still alive and I came back !!!
I have seven months. I went back to the basics.
working my steps, reading and writing a lot, doing service work
work on whatever problems I was having and following my DREAM.
There's so much to do in life and i made a list of things i want to
experience in my life. A simple list as always
I'm happy today. I'm also closer to my HP.

so like you heard....whatever it is that you did that
you thought was bad, there's always someone that did it worst.
If i can do it , you can do it.
I'm just an addict, just like you.

[mackat]

yeh- what nutz said....
way too many dead addicts in my life

glad you are back here, back alive
you have much to teach us

hugs
mackat

[Rhema]

I heard a saying that means so much to me in my recovery and I use it with everyone I work with. "If you fall, make sure you fall forward so that when you get up, you will have still made progress". I think that is the thing. You fell, but use it as a stepping stone - learn from it, grow from it, and don't go back! and it will be OK:: Live in the horror of it and you will get stuck.

I like to think of such insidents as what build your despiration which is what catlylizes real recovery. We have to seek our escape with all the despiration of a drowning man (BB pg28).

Think of this like gasoline. It is quite explosive and can blow up and kill you, or it can be put in your car and take you anywhere you want to go. It is just a matter of how you choose to use it. Use this incident to take you where you want to go - SOBRIETY!

Wade H.

[Kahlia]

Originally Posted by ncwcgrl99

Hi there, I guess I am kind of new to this but I need someone to talk to because I dont have a lot of support around me, so I figured I would write it. I used to be a cocaine addict and marijuana addict. I had been clean for 3 years of any drug use until this past weekend. I took 3 hits of marijuana and I am just so down on myself. I am so mad that I would risk everything and do that. I have accomplished all my goals...and even surpassed them and then I go and do this and think to myself, why the hell would I do this. Why would I want to jeopardize my job, my family, my friends....just to get high. As you can tell Im pretty down right now.....and not quite sure what to do. Any encouragement would help greatly. I went to an AA meeting last night, and it helped a little bit.

OK-you used...well, get to an NA Meeting...you KNOW what you are supposed to do. It is a relapse and it can be fixed...do not be so hard on yourself. I would have to sit down and figure out why I took those three hits??? Is there something in your life going on that is making you depressed? Think about it. Every time I thought about relapse, there was something going on that I could NOT get a handle on or just did not address....it is not worth it....hope you are Ok....keep posting and let us know how you are doing......Kahlia

[tobstah]

welcome back!

keep going to those meetings, and you will be fine

[cleanlady]

Don't beat yourself up, thats your disease telling you that you LOST 3yrs. You DIDN'T you lost NOTHING! I relapsed 31/2 mon. ago & if I would have listened to my disease I would have kept using. Give yourself a hug from us here at sr. & stay strong, you can do this!

[ChrisMan]

It's gonna be okay. So very hard to slip after a good long time of sobriety. I'm an expert at that. Get connected again and get a sponsor. Keep posting. As you can see, there is a lot of support here. Here is the dancing banana to cheer you up.


ChrisMan

[Jared112987]

NCW I give you soooo much credit honestly I stoped smoking pot for 5 months back in 8th grade and even though I wasnt using heavy...man that first time back I got so blasted and I only took 3 hits....like I mean so f*cking high I know its the reason I blew up into the game...As soon as I got high that one time I couldnt stop, its all I did for another 3 years, completly consumed me. I give you mad props for knows you messed up instead of being like I was with the hell yeah attitude I need to do this every second of the day. You made a bad choice by smoking again but you utimatly made the right one because you know it was wrong and your not using no, which to me is incredible. Seriously I could never do that, I know if I ever take a hit of pot again Ill probably be even worse than I was while I was addcited in the last 3 1/2 years which is really impossible, plus if I do within the next 7 1/2 months Im going to jail for 2 years and will have a felony but now that Im clean I have no desire to get back in I saw the damage it did to me and I see how good I can do without it.