A new Beginning for Me - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

BOOZER · 02-05-2005, 08:54 AM

I've posted some awful things in the past. My depression, DTs, etc. I finally got detox halp and am finished. Now for a 30 day program which I will find and hopefully be admitted to this next week.
I can't thank all of you enough for your good wishes, hopes, and prayers. They meant more than any of you know.
Life is good now. I have a plan. I see a future. I see hope (not my ex but true hope. I realize now that I can never be with my ex because she also has this disease but will not try to quit.)
I know it will not be easy but I have my family and all of you for support. Again, thank you so much.

I was given a very powerful document in detox and want to share it with all of you. I've never done this before but will attach it to this thread I suppose. Please read it. It is my number one thing to go to if I have problems now. It may also help some of you?

BOOZER · 02-05-2005, 08:55 AM

Now to learn how to spell. Sorry

Phinneas · 02-05-2005, 09:00 AM

((((V))))

I can't tell you how happy I am for you. I, too, know that dark, dark night of the soul (as most of us do here) and am so grateful you are getting help and doing what you know you need to do. There is hope. It does get better.

You always have a place here. Know that no matter what, you are never alone.

many hugs,

jojo

Chy · 02-05-2005, 09:01 AM

I'm very, very happy for you! Work hard, it will pay off!

BOOZER · 02-05-2005, 09:03 AM

Read the attachment everyone--it is very powerful stuff.

wantneeda · 02-05-2005, 09:42 AM

congratulations on getting help, my prayers are with u!
i justread uratachment, its one of the most powerful I've ever read, thank you so much for posting it, it was like the devil was talking right to me!!!!!
be a sponge in your 30 day program....God bless and \\// peace

In memory of miracle · 02-05-2005, 10:01 AM

Glad to hear you are doing better.Best of luck with your treatment.
I have read " I am your disease" many times ,it is very powerful ! Great title for your new thread.Thank-you ! Bless, Trish

Dan · 02-05-2005, 10:04 AM

What the others said.
Jump in to this program with both feet and all your heart.
You are so worth the freedom from active alcoholism.
I never believed that until I felt the first little bubbles of happiness float over me.
The best of luck to you friend.
I was given the "I am your disease" when I was in rehab.
I need that thing in my back pocket. For the times I start feeling cocky again.
Thanks for the good news.
Peace.

BOOZER · 02-05-2005, 11:45 AM

Thank you all. I was not aware so many people new of that document. I am still learning though.
I will be a sponge but more than that, I will participate in everything. I did the same at detox. We were given homework to evaluate ourselves based on a series of questions. Many people had been there for weeks and not done it. I did it, read it etc. I attended all meetings and even stood up when we had an actual AA spokesman come and told my story then. I've learned I can't get rid of this demon if I hide from it so will share my story and all I've done good and bad at every meeting I go to.

Dan · 02-05-2005, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BOOZER

I've learned I can't get rid of this demon if I hide from it

Amen to that.
Wow. I got shivers seeing a fellow sufferer on the way to the light.
Thanks so much for sharing Boozer.

2dayzmuse · 02-05-2005, 11:55 AM

Good luck with your journey to find sobriety. It appears you're off to a great start. Hard work, determination and the proper tools will get you everything. Have hope and keep the faith. In doing so, you can achieve anything...

BOOZER · 02-05-2005, 12:13 PM

You people are all so nice--thank you.

Well for now I am going to sign off. It is still quite emotional and I am very tired. Talk to everyone later.

Dan · 02-05-2005, 12:27 PM

Peace my friend.

BOOZER · 02-06-2005, 07:56 AM

Looks to me that Hopealwayz needs help now. Please send her your support. I know her pain and exactly how she feels. It is an awful place to be.

ChrisMan · 02-06-2005, 03:51 PM

Boozer,

Thanks for sharing "I am your disease." I had never seen it before, so thank you very much. Very powerful!

ChrisMan

AllThatGlitters · 02-06-2005, 07:00 PM

Thanks for sharing that boozer. I'm glad you are doing well and I hope that you keep it up!! Keep sharing with us.

BOOZER · 02-07-2005, 01:20 AM

Well it is 12:30 at night. I am fine. Don't want to drink or anything like that. Just sort of turned into a vampire I guess? My sleep schedule is exaclty opposite as it should be. I sleep half the day and wake earlier each night. Must be one of the side affects of my body not having booze anymore? I think it doesn't know what to do.
I feel entirely different than before. I am motivated and ready to go. The problem is that it is 12:30 at night. I feel like brewing a pot of coffee and starting the day. Can't do that though because then I will never get out of this bad schedule. So, just chatting I guess. Anyway, that's it. Thanks for the ear.

boop64132 · 02-07-2005, 04:24 AM

Boozer,

Im so happy that you have found the way to sobriety.
It's an awsome way!
And your sleep patterns will even out.You are waking up wanting to start your day cause you can actually enjoy it now!

Good for you!!!

BOOZER · 02-07-2005, 08:04 AM

Boop,
Thanks. I guess you are right. I laid down and read some of one of my recovery books. That put me right to sleep. (Not to belittle the book, it is just not exactly a page turner.)
I slept fine until 6:00 and that is a good start.
You are correct about wanting to start the day. It is brighter, my head is more clear, everything has taken on a new meaning and value. That was the problem last night. The crying has been replaced by happiness and I kept thinking of things that made me happy. Problem was they also kept me awake. Better to be awake and happy than awake and miserable like all last month.

Connie · 02-07-2005, 08:13 AM

Yea for you! Thanks for sharing the attachment. I printed it out for my fridge. It's a good reminder. Be gentle with yourself, you deserve it.

BOOZER · 02-07-2005, 08:39 AM

Connie,
I did the exact same thing.
Vince

Quinn · 02-07-2005, 10:09 AM

Thank you for that article, I printed it out for myself, because I believe it will help me.

Best,
Quinn

BOOZER · 02-07-2005, 11:20 AM

Quinn,

Pretty powerful huh? I still can't read it without crying. It fits me to a tee.

Majesty_Jo · 02-07-2005, 11:42 PM

I am your disease is indeed a powerful piece of prose, and I think we can all identify with it. It wasn't until I had been in recovery for two years, that I found true acceptance of my disease. Until I could, I couldn't take the first half of Step One that 100% they said I need to maintain my sobriety. My life can still be unmanageable when managed by me, or if I go back into the stinking thinking and think that my disease is no longer there. It is has been in reprieve for thirteen years, and there is no way that I want to pick up in today, to find out if this time, it will be different.

Quinn · 02-08-2005, 01:12 AM

It never occured to me that I had a drinking problem, until I was about 34 years old. Now I'm 38. The more I learn about addiction, the more I realize I have it. I also realize that it cannot be "cured", but rather managed. It bothers me that that "monster" is out there, ready to come out, in a moment of my weakness.

02-05-2005, 10:01 AM	#7 (permalink)
In memory of miracle In Memory Of Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Connecticut. Posts: 3,738	(( X Boozer )) Glad to hear you are doing better.Best of luck with your treatment. I have read " I am your disease" many times ,it is very powerful ! Great title for your new thread.Thank-you ! Bless, Trish __________________ In Memory Of Teach only love...

02-06-2005, 03:51 PM	#15 (permalink)
ChrisMan Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 398	Boozer, Thanks for sharing "I am your disease." I had never seen it before, so thank you very much. Very powerful! ChrisMan __________________ "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -- Philo

02-06-2005, 07:00 PM	#16 (permalink)
AllThatGlitters anyone who ever had a dream Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: where I wanna be Posts: 67	Thanks for sharing that boozer. I'm glad you are doing well and I hope that you keep it up!! Keep sharing with us. __________________ Fantasyland seems cooler, but you might freeze to death.

02-07-2005, 10:09 AM	#22 (permalink)
Quinn Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 18	thank you Thank you for that article, I printed it out for myself, because I believe it will help me. Best, Quinn

02-07-2005, 11:42 PM	#24 (permalink)
Majesty_Jo Majesty Jo Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada Posts: 9	I am your disease is indeed a powerful piece of prose, and I think we can all identify with it. It wasn't until I had been in recovery for two years, that I found true acceptance of my disease. Until I could, I couldn't take the first half of Step One that 100% they said I need to maintain my sobriety. My life can still be unmanageable when managed by me, or if I go back into the stinking thinking and think that my disease is no longer there. It is has been in reprieve for thirteen years, and there is no way that I want to pick up in today, to find out if this time, it will be different. __________________ Love Always,

02-05-2005, 08:55 AM	#2 (permalink)
BOOZER Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 77	Now to learn how to spell. Sorry

02-05-2005, 09:00 AM	#3 (permalink)
Phinneas Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy Posts: 2,614	((((V)))) I can't tell you how happy I am for you. I, too, know that dark, dark night of the soul (as most of us do here) and am so grateful you are getting help and doing what you know you need to do. There is hope. It does get better. You always have a place here. Know that no matter what, you are never alone. many hugs, jojo

02-05-2005, 09:01 AM	#4 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,867	I'm very, very happy for you! Work hard, it will pay off!

02-05-2005, 09:03 AM	#5 (permalink)
BOOZER Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 77	Read the attachment everyone--it is very powerful stuff.

02-05-2005, 09:42 AM	#6 (permalink)
wantneeda Miss Behavin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: regina,saskatchewan Posts: 975	congratulations on getting help, my prayers are with u! i justread uratachment, its one of the most powerful I've ever read, thank you so much for posting it, it was like the devil was talking right to me!!!!! be a sponge in your 30 day program....God bless and \\// peace

02-05-2005, 10:04 AM	#8 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,710	What the others said. Jump in to this program with both feet and all your heart. You are so worth the freedom from active alcoholism. I never believed that until I felt the first little bubbles of happiness float over me. The best of luck to you friend. I was given the "I am your disease" when I was in rehab. I need that thing in my back pocket. For the times I start feeling cocky again. Thanks for the good news. Peace.

02-05-2005, 11:45 AM	#9 (permalink)
BOOZER Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 77	Thank you all. I was not aware so many people new of that document. I am still learning though. I will be a sponge but more than that, I will participate in everything. I did the same at detox. We were given homework to evaluate ourselves based on a series of questions. Many people had been there for weeks and not done it. I did it, read it etc. I attended all meetings and even stood up when we had an actual AA spokesman come and told my story then. I've learned I can't get rid of this demon if I hide from it so will share my story and all I've done good and bad at every meeting I go to.

02-05-2005, 11:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
2dayzmuse Paused Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Washington Posts: 5,094	Good luck with your journey to find sobriety. It appears you're off to a great start. Hard work, determination and the proper tools will get you everything. Have hope and keep the faith. In doing so, you can achieve anything...

02-05-2005, 12:13 PM	#12 (permalink)
BOOZER Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 77	You people are all so nice--thank you. Well for now I am going to sign off. It is still quite emotional and I am very tired. Talk to everyone later.

02-05-2005, 12:27 PM	#13 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,710	Peace my friend.

02-06-2005, 07:56 AM	#14 (permalink)
BOOZER Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 77	Looks to me that Hopealwayz needs help now. Please send her your support. I know her pain and exactly how she feels. It is an awful place to be.

02-07-2005, 01:20 AM	#17 (permalink)
BOOZER Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 77	Well it is 12:30 at night. I am fine. Don't want to drink or anything like that. Just sort of turned into a vampire I guess? My sleep schedule is exaclty opposite as it should be. I sleep half the day and wake earlier each night. Must be one of the side affects of my body not having booze anymore? I think it doesn't know what to do. I feel entirely different than before. I am motivated and ready to go. The problem is that it is 12:30 at night. I feel like brewing a pot of coffee and starting the day. Can't do that though because then I will never get out of this bad schedule. So, just chatting I guess. Anyway, that's it. Thanks for the ear.

02-07-2005, 04:24 AM	#18 (permalink)
boop64132 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Kansas City,Mo Posts: 478	Boozer, Im so happy that you have found the way to sobriety. It's an awsome way! And your sleep patterns will even out.You are waking up wanting to start your day cause you can actually enjoy it now! Good for you!!!

02-07-2005, 08:04 AM	#19 (permalink)
BOOZER Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 77	Boop, Thanks. I guess you are right. I laid down and read some of one of my recovery books. That put me right to sleep. (Not to belittle the book, it is just not exactly a page turner.) I slept fine until 6:00 and that is a good start. You are correct about wanting to start the day. It is brighter, my head is more clear, everything has taken on a new meaning and value. That was the problem last night. The crying has been replaced by happiness and I kept thinking of things that made me happy. Problem was they also kept me awake. Better to be awake and happy than awake and miserable like all last month.

02-07-2005, 08:13 AM	#20 (permalink)
Connie Connie Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 83	Yea for you! Thanks for sharing the attachment. I printed it out for my fridge. It's a good reminder. Be gentle with yourself, you deserve it.

02-07-2005, 08:39 AM	#21 (permalink)
BOOZER Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 77	Connie, I did the exact same thing. Vince

02-07-2005, 11:20 AM	#23 (permalink)
BOOZER Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 77	Quinn, Pretty powerful huh? I still can't read it without crying. It fits me to a tee.

02-08-2005, 01:12 AM	#25 (permalink)
Quinn Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 18	It never occured to me that I had a drinking problem, until I was about 34 years old. Now I'm 38. The more I learn about addiction, the more I realize I have it. I also realize that it cannot be "cured", but rather managed. It bothers me that that "monster" is out there, ready to come out, in a moment of my weakness.

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