Can You Please Explain

[deenrose]

I was at a meeting lastnight. There was talk about the steps and importance of working them. One Brother said that mere abstinence is not recovery. They even went so far as to say that if the steps were not worked, there is a chance for relapse. Please give me you thougts on ths.

Also can you please give me your thougts on the first step and what it means to you?

[Stoic]

I've heard the same thing said in meetings here, deen, and I agree with it completely. But I was as mystified as you are the first time someone said it. After a few weeks of going to meetings and doing the steps, I realized how true it is.

AA is about not drinking, but it's also about much more. And if you don't get the "much more," it's hard to stay sober. In my case, I'd drunk heavily for 15-20 years, and then gradually cut down over the next twenty. Occasionally I attended a meeting, but I didn't keep going, get a sponsor, or work the steps. I was sober for weeks at a time, but always started drinking again, then began to drink more, then resolved never to drink again, etc. Even when I was sober, I was a "dry drunk," still the same person, still trying to do all of this on my own, still an addict in spirit even when I was off my substance.

The first step was extremely hard for me, but once I'd done it, everything opened up for me. I began to see that I had to change completely, from the inside, not just controlling my behavior. The thing that brings you to that first step -- and carries you through it -- is your honest desire to change. If you have that, you're going to make it.

[Phinneas]

Yup, it's so true. Being clean and sober is one thing, working an honest program of recovery is something entirely different. Most of us come to AA to stop drinking and/or drugging, but we stay to learn to live life witout alcohol and drugs. That's where working the steps comes in.

I can only speak from my own experience. For me, staying clean and sober is dependent on going to meetings (at least 90 meetings in 90 days), being accountable to my sponsor, and working the steps as if my life depends on it... because it does.

I spent my whole life avoiding, denying, running away and trying to escape from my emotions, so I have a lot of learning to do. If I don't do the work, I only hurt myself. If I do, I get the rewards of growth and some serenity. I also get the chance at a new life.

Keep reaching out, keep showing up and keep going to those meetings and the Promises will indeed come true.

hugs,

jojo

[nutz]

Recovery is not about stoping.
It's about staying stopped.

Some of us have emotional baggages, mental disorder or depression.
life on life's terms sometimes can be a S.O.B
The steps helps us to process the pain of the past that we denied
and the insane crap we did that we though we would never do.
A growing process of learning and trying to live a happier life stlye.

By working the steps we learnd to process the crap of today
becuase some habits dy hard.

It is thourgh Action that it works.
It is thourgh experiencing the steps that we get a greater awareness
and a deeper understanding.

You will go off the wall if you do the steps off the wall.
Be humble and get a guide or a teacher that's been down
that road.

You can run but you can't hide , and you can't run forever.
Being Numb and dubble vision is just that, even if it's fun at times.
To run and hide sober ?...will 2 chioces
Get numb or work the steps.
You can also get numb by not picking up..it's call dysfuntional.
For many of us its only in desperations that we seek help.
it is also in desperations that we'll work the steps. its call Pain
But some of us love PAIN. Sick...sick,sick.

[nutz]

it's okay to get angery
But getting angery over, and over again about the same stuff is call a resentment.

Life is not wihtout pain
But reliving the pain over and over again is call suffering.

[ChrisMan]

Deenrose,

Yeah, I have to agree with others here.

The thing is, to practice abstinence from the drug is one thing. But, what is it that made you use the drug in the first place?

Alcohol, or cocaine, or sleeping pills -- these are all just substances. But our desire to use them, and then our addiction to them -- this is all stuff that is inside us. Our emotions, our fears, our insecurities. Because addiction is so much more that just using a substance, recovery is so much more than just stopping to use.

[deenrose]

Greetings:

I thank you all for your input and advice. As you can tell, I’m new to the fellowship. However, I want so much to get it for lack of better words. I don’t want to just sit in the meetings taking up space. I want to learn so that I can apply it to my everyday life.

However, since I’ve been going to the meetings, I’ve been abstaining from using one day at a time. I find that I look forward to going to the meetings and I get a lot out of them.

[Don W]

There are many different views as to what recovery is. I can only that not drinking for me, was a step in the direction of recovery. I do believe that there is more to recovery than not drinking. Once again, it isn't impossible and I've seen people leading a happy and new life without the things that worked for me. This is why we share experences. As for the first step. In my case, I had to get to the point that I stopped trying to defeat the first step. By that I mean, using my alcoholic thinking to beat the system. Example, If I figure out why I drink to much and change it, I will no longer be powerless so I can drink. Or, like I did after 5 years, I've stopped for 5 years, if I was powerless over alcohol I wouldn't have been able to do that. Besides, now I know how to stop so I can just go back. I am an alcoholic and I can use the steps to stop drinking or use tham to justify drinking. I suggest you try and keep it simple and for now just don't drink, go to meetings and keep an open mind. Just remember, it is a case of percentages. This is true about almost every facit of recovery and non recovery. What works in most cases is what works in most cases.
There are exceptions to the rules and this is where you need to be honest with yourself. Am I an exception to the rule? I had to ask myself. Even if we were to find all the answers to our questions, we're still addicted. Once again, this was me.
Don W