Pretending

Nothing is more difficult than competing with a myth.
-- Francoise Giroud

Sometimes we think we need to try and be something we're not. Maybe we feel pressure from friends to behave or dress like someone else. All we need to do is remember when we were younger and dressed in our parents' clothes and shoes. We pretended to be grownups, and it was fun for a while. Then the huge shoes on our feet grew clumsy and uncomfortable and the mountain of rolled-up sleeves kept falling down and getting in the way. Soon we grew tired of the game and stopped pretending. Today when we start feeling the pressure to be someone else, let's remember how hard it is to play a role that doesn't fit us.

What can I do today that is most like me?

[sherbear5104]

Thanks for sharing that Doug. Sometimes I try to pretend to big this strong person who is never affected, when that's not true at all.

[Ann]

I was relieved to abdocate the throne of being Queen of the Universe.

A simpler life pleases me and I am continuing to discover who that stranger called "me" really is. Just being me, love me or leave me, suits me today, and I am grateful to this program for handing me the mirror.

Hugs
Ann

[clancy!]

wow, this struk a kord with me...what a lovely analogy, with dressing up. for some reason I dont understand I have often pretended to be someone different.I started this game when i was a kid, and felt unworthy as I didnt have a family...I made up so many wonderful moms and siblings.Getting found out was ssoooopainful, but it didnt stop me making up different personas for myself when I grew up. I stil have to make a huge effort not to do this now. When I start a new job or kourse I used to look forward most to hoosing another persona...with a different look, and different personality.sometimes i gave different names!! I never wanted to be plain old me...the trouble was of kourse, I began to forget who i really was.and I kouldnt mi sosial groups!! drugs were a big part of the pretense. Now Im sober, and stil trying to find out who I am...I really have to bite my tongue now and when I meet a new person I have to quikly tell them the truth before im tempted to be brenda the belgian brain surgeon or someone.boy,serious pathology!! But I really needed to read your post....thank you.

[Don W]

This post reminded me of a crazy part of my drinking. Now, don't laugh--OK a little.
I might be surprised if others did this also. I used to watch people that wore suits and fancy clothes come in bars after work. They'd have a few and go hope. I was what I called a shift drinker. That is I'd watch the shift changes in the bar and all the customers working different shifts come and go. Anyway, I decided that if I dressed up like them, even if I drank like me, I'd look like them. I'd get up after my wife left. I would then before I got cleaned up iron and press every single piece of clothing I planned to wear. Of course this was a suit and tie. When I say iron everything I mean it. My socks, my underware, get ready--- sometimes I'd even iron my money so if someone looked the bills would be nice and neat. Sick, HUH! This would never work, I'd end up all messed up. I think I remember someone saying they got dressed up to get messed up. I even thought if I went to one of those stores that sold expensive clothes it would then work. Well, that $75 to $100 shirt looked just as bad as my K-Mart special when I got done. Also, the ambulance drivers never gave using the sissors another thought on the nights I was taken to a hospital. It was a good thing the first shift of drinkers when I first arrived went home. I got all the, " Boy, you look nice, Wow, you look spiffy. The last group many times saw a different picture. I'd puked on myself, fell on the floor tripped on sidewalk and covered with blood. Oh well, maybe the Emergency Room worker was impressed by my ironed underpants. Oh God, I hope I'm not the only strange one. Don W

[Gabe]

I pretended to be someone I wasn't for years.
It didn't become me one bit.
It was when I started listening to the real voice inside my soul that things turned around for me in a big way.
She never went away, I just quit listening to her.
She's my best voice, I'm glad I can hear her now.