Bad Company - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

deenrose · 01-26-2005, 09:05 AM

I have an associate who I have known since childhood. I am 34 years old and soon to be 35 on 3/23. I hesitate to use the term friend in reference to this individual because I really do no think that this guy has my best interests at heart. If that is the case then I cannot call this guy a friend. This is even though we grew up on adjacent blocks.

When I was getting high I would do it with this guy. As I mentioned in previous posts I was in prison for quite some time as a direct result of my addiction. It has been almost 7 months since my release now. Well anyway, not long after my release I recieved a phone call from this guy. It came as a complete surprise because I had not heard from this guy in many years. We started to hang out together and before long my drug of choice was in my face. My drug of choice was Cocaine. I lost focus and I used. I began to use nearly every weekend with this guy. When I would come down and become able to think clearly again, I would always feel terribly guilty. I would be saying to myself, "what did I do?" I realized that that is not the life that I want for myself. However, that is the life that he wants for himself. So, I had to put a huge distance between myself and this person.

When I decided to give up all mood altering substances, I knew that I had to clean house, so to speak. I had to stay away from people places and things. Now, I no longer keep company with this person because it is not a healthy relationship for me. I don't feel like I have to be rude. But, I just don't answer this guy's calls anymore. This guy literally called me ten times this past Friday night. I did not answer one phone call. Maybe that way he will get the message. Now, I am seeking out new and more healthy relationships...

elizabeth1979 · 01-26-2005, 09:07 AM

Good for you, thats awesome that you have come to realize some influences will never be good.
Way to go!
Sarah

Paulie · 01-26-2005, 09:19 AM

Yep, in my opinion that is what we have to do. I had to separate myself from my best friend since we were 14 years old and I got clean at 31. She is still out there using and it breaks my heart. Sobriety comes first, my life comes first.

You did good.

Dan · 01-26-2005, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulie

You did good.

What Paulie said Deen.
I need some of my best friends like I need a hole in the head.

Time2Surrender · 01-26-2005, 09:46 AM

Deenrose,you did the right thing.Who knows maybe you will see him at a meeting someday.

retribution · 01-26-2005, 10:15 AM

I think maybe one of the hardest things about becoming sober is letting go of the people, places, and things that have been a huge part of our lives for so long. You did the right thing, and if not answering his calls is how you decided to deal with it, than all the power to you!! I wish you good luck and success in your recovery!! God Bless,
Tobi

CAPTAINZING2000 · 01-26-2005, 10:23 AM

. As I mentioned in previous posts I was in prison for quite some time as a direct result of my addiction. It has been almost 7 months since my release now. Well anyway, ...[/QUOTE]

hmm does this seem like a way to go back to prison to you?

sherbear5104 · 01-26-2005, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DangerousDan

What Paulie said Deen.
I need some of my best friends like I need a hole in the head.

Don't you mean another hole, Dan? LOL

sherbear5104 · 01-26-2005, 11:39 AM

It is true. We need to change people, places and things. We need to find new playmates, playthings, and playgrounds. Good choice, Deen.

Sherry

nutz · 01-26-2005, 01:36 PM

It's also true that the best relationship I can
ever seek is between me, myself and I. Becuase where
ever I go , whatever I do...hot damn there I am.
And somewhere along the line, I 'll figer out I need help in a very
special way.

No ...I don't change people, places and things.
I change myself
when I get better or not as sick. It is only natural that a
sicker person is a trun off to me or the other way around.
In my part of the world, drugs and alcohol is everywhere.
Work, school, jail, recoveryhome, etc.

I knew almost everybody when in high school
the stoners, the jocks, the preppies, the nerds, the homeboyz,
the bros, the gangster, the teachers's pet, dealers.
There's a common thread that very body deny or play the game.
the teacher's pet wouldn't have a damn thing to do with me
during school hours. I didn't mind when she sat on my lap naking
me all over when she's **** up out her mind at a kegger.
The jocks or preps would ask me where I can find dope of course.

It wasn't a surprizing to me to find doctors, lawyers, counselor,
gangster, hookers, miinister ,ect in the recovery meetings.

Annominity....games we still play.

Don W · 01-26-2005, 04:19 PM

Hi, I think you made the right choice. Please remember to give yourself credit for that choice. Just remember, some are sicker than others. Say a pray for this person and put him in God's hands. Some have to move on, so someday you might show him the way. Also, understand that this happens everywhere. Even in the halls and the VA Hospital, I need to stay away from some for my own good. Don W

01-26-2005, 09:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
deenrose Recovering Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: UNIONDALE/New York Posts: 35	Bad Company I have an associate who I have known since childhood. I am 34 years old and soon to be 35 on 3/23. I hesitate to use the term friend in reference to this individual because I really do no think that this guy has my best interests at heart. If that is the case then I cannot call this guy a friend. This is even though we grew up on adjacent blocks. When I was getting high I would do it with this guy. As I mentioned in previous posts I was in prison for quite some time as a direct result of my addiction. It has been almost 7 months since my release now. Well anyway, not long after my release I recieved a phone call from this guy. It came as a complete surprise because I had not heard from this guy in many years. We started to hang out together and before long my drug of choice was in my face. My drug of choice was Cocaine. I lost focus and I used. I began to use nearly every weekend with this guy. When I would come down and become able to think clearly again, I would always feel terribly guilty. I would be saying to myself, "what did I do?" I realized that that is not the life that I want for myself. However, that is the life that he wants for himself. So, I had to put a huge distance between myself and this person. When I decided to give up all mood altering substances, I knew that I had to clean house, so to speak. I had to stay away from people places and things. Now, I no longer keep company with this person because it is not a healthy relationship for me. I don't feel like I have to be rude. But, I just don't answer this guy's calls anymore. This guy literally called me ten times this past Friday night. I did not answer one phone call. Maybe that way he will get the message. Now, I am seeking out new and more healthy relationships...

01-26-2005, 09:07 AM	#2 (permalink)
elizabeth1979 Acting not reacting Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: My happy place Posts: 1,790	Good for you!! Good for you, thats awesome that you have come to realize some influences will never be good. Way to go! Sarah

01-26-2005, 09:19 AM	#3 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,785	Yep, in my opinion that is what we have to do. I had to separate myself from my best friend since we were 14 years old and I got clean at 31. She is still out there using and it breaks my heart. Sobriety comes first, my life comes first. You did good. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

01-26-2005, 10:23 AM	#7 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,452 Blog Entries: 1	. As I mentioned in previous posts I was in prison for quite some time as a direct result of my addiction. It has been almost 7 months since my release now. Well anyway, ...[/QUOTE] hmm does this seem like a way to go back to prison to you? __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

01-26-2005, 11:39 AM	#9 (permalink)
sherbear5104 Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: east coast Posts: 2,441	It is true. We need to change people, places and things. We need to find new playmates, playthings, and playgrounds. Good choice, Deen. Sherry __________________ There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

01-26-2005, 09:46 AM	#5 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7	Deenrose,you did the right thing.Who knows maybe you will see him at a meeting someday.

01-26-2005, 10:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
retribution Tobi Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Mastic, New York Posts: 100	I think maybe one of the hardest things about becoming sober is letting go of the people, places, and things that have been a huge part of our lives for so long. You did the right thing, and if not answering his calls is how you decided to deal with it, than all the power to you!! I wish you good luck and success in your recovery!! God Bless, Tobi

01-26-2005, 01:36 PM	#10 (permalink)
nutz doing the inside job Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: planet happy Posts: 542	It's also true that the best relationship I can ever seek is between me, myself and I. Becuase where ever I go , whatever I do...hot damn there I am. And somewhere along the line, I 'll figer out I need help in a very special way. No ...I don't change people, places and things. I change myself when I get better or not as sick. It is only natural that a sicker person is a trun off to me or the other way around. In my part of the world, drugs and alcohol is everywhere. Work, school, jail, recoveryhome, etc. I knew almost everybody when in high school the stoners, the jocks, the preppies, the nerds, the homeboyz, the bros, the gangster, the teachers's pet, dealers. There's a common thread that very body deny or play the game. the teacher's pet wouldn't have a damn thing to do with me during school hours. I didn't mind when she sat on my lap naking me all over when she's **** up out her mind at a kegger. The jocks or preps would ask me where I can find dope of course. It wasn't a surprizing to me to find doctors, lawyers, counselor, gangster, hookers, miinister ,ect in the recovery meetings. Annominity....games we still play. __________________ practice, practice, practice What had been the source of devastation became the seed of a new me.

01-26-2005, 04:19 PM	#11 (permalink)
Don W Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Charleston S.C. Posts: 1,463	Hi, I think you made the right choice. Please remember to give yourself credit for that choice. Just remember, some are sicker than others. Say a pray for this person and put him in God's hands. Some have to move on, so someday you might show him the way. Also, understand that this happens everywhere. Even in the halls and the VA Hospital, I need to stay away from some for my own good. Don W __________________ Captain America - On the side of good

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode