the only sober person for miles

[bruno123]

probably not the only one..I am snowed in(have been for days)at a resort(where I work and live)...and I swear I am the only sober person here..not drinking, I feel alienated from everyone..or mebbe I'm just isolating..been on anti-depressants for some time but have run out and it seems to be affecting me..not on the firmest ground here..there is one meeting(once a week, about an hour down the mountain) that I had checked out a few times a few..hmmn..several...months ago...ended up without much time to make it and when a certain individual grilled me after the meeting on where I attended church and informed me I was working my program"wrong"..I stopped attending..definitely need some sort of support here..when I start thinking I can get away with one or two( I know better) so then I start thinking I can get away with one good drunk..then i start thinking that I don't need this job..or this place to live...I'm scaring me...ah...well...Love to All-B

[eddie z.]

Originally Posted by bruno123

when a certain individual grilled me after the meeting on where I attended church and informed me I was working my program"wrong"..I stopped attending.

You probably need to avoid that certain individual and not meetings altogether, you know? Although I understand why you can't make one NOW.

Anyhow, WELCOME to SR, ((((bruno))))! And just let us know what you need, OK?
Love and hugs,
Eddie

[bruno123]

It is pretty wild just re-realizing that there are people who understand...some of the younger crew take it as something of an affront that I don't join in the libations..with some of the more serious inebriates(my age) you might think I had some sort of social leprosy..whatever I have that prevents me from drinking..well, they certainly wouldn't want to catch that! I'm glad Andy told me about this place...Love to All-B

oh..and isn't it amazing how far adrift one can get-spiritually in my case- without someone to help you realize your bearings?

[eddie z.]

Originally Posted by bruno123

It is pretty wild just re-realizing that there are people who understand.

Wild, yes, but in a GOOD way!
-ez

[Evanna]

Snowed in without you meds, sounds truly horrid and frustrating. Glad you are finding your bearings.

Welcome to the forum.
Best Wishes
Evanna.

[bruno123]

Yea!-They have the road opened..still snowing....I have to find a new doctor.2 hour drive to town...exercise helps and dedication to maintaining my spiritual footing...3 day weekend coming up..I should be able to get a delivery and am supposed to have 100+ people coming..(I'm the Chef)....hope they don't get snowed in like the last couple of groups....so, I got plans to make to keep my mind occupied and for exercise mebbe I'll go dig out my van..at least I know I can leave if I want to..that is good for the ol' mental health right there...most of the time, it is just a decision to be content..serene..that I need to make....Love to All-B

[eddie z.]

all work and no play makes bruno a dull boy
all work and no play makes bruno a dull boy
all work and no play makes bruno a dull boy
all work and no play makes bruno a dull boy
all work and no play makes bruno a dull boy
all work and no play makes bruno a dull boy

Sorry, I couldn't resist!
-ez

[Don W]

Hi Bruno, Doesn't sound like a great situation but, by posting you can make it through.
Sometimes we are tested more when the stakes are higher. Work is fine but, maybe you could do some reading or something. You might want to try and think of some pleasent outlet. Something you enjoy. Write someone a letter. Don W

[bruno123]

Thanks Guys..I could come up with all kinds of excuses for not doing things...but when I go to relate them to someone sober...I see them for what they are....today I dug out my van..buried in a bank..drove a few yards and when I touched the brakes...about 4 ft of ice still on top shifted forward and cracked my windshield...I feel...not good about it, but I can keep some perspective..if I ever do get down for a day..I can spend it getting the windshield fixed..and I can afford it..too many times that would not have been the case...my Sous..we spend alot of time in the kitchen together..got me a $100 gift certificate for Borders for Christmas and my last trip to town I bought books-reading does help..really what I think would be good for me would be to strap on some cross country skis and go see some of this outrageous beauty...after I get my window fixed...or maybe I'll just invite myself along tomorrow with someone...this is too spectacular a place not to be taking advantage of the opportunities..for months now, I have been too busy to really enjoy much outdoor stuff..now that I can make time here and there...I'll do it...B

[eddie z.]

Originally Posted by bruno123

this is too spectacular a place not to be taking advantage of the opportunities.

Just be aware of the avalanche warnings, OK? I am so jealous of you! I want to learn to ski DO take advantage, bruno, and tell us all about it tomorrow. And, BTW, you're welcome!
Love and hugs,
Eddie

P.S. KCNP? ??National Park? Where are you anyway?

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Sorry Bout Your Experience Well, U Know U Can Give Me A Ring If U Can't Get A Meeting In. Good Thing U See These People And Don't Want To Be Like Them.

I Don't Know If, Andy Told You Bout This Site Or, U Found It By Accident But, It Sure Is Good To Know You're Ok

From U're Old Friend In Ill.

Chris

[noregretna]

I don't Know how you deal with things but sometimes I've got stuck on the things that are going wrong or can go wrong. What I have learned is that I can take any given situation and make it a good experiece or a bad experience, just depends on what I want to focus on. I being the addict that I am can make murphys law look like a sitcom. learning to focus on the jouney and enjoying it like its your last day on earth is what I choose to do most of the time, recovery is a journey well worth doing it one day at a time to the best of your ability.

enjoy the journey
Noregretna

[Brookie]

Originally Posted by Noregretna

learning to focus on the jouney and enjoying it like its your last day on earth is what I choose to do most of the time, recovery is a journey well worth doing it one day at a time to the best of your ability.

I love that. Thanks.

[bruno123]

Hey Chris...I keep meaning to call.....how are my kids..? lol
I am in Sequoia National Forest between Kings Canyon National Park and Sequoia National Park in the High Sierras...I checked out some snow skis this morning..trip..we couldn't get the road open for days, but we have miles of cross country ski trails immaculately groomed...it is especially beautiful when you get to a point where you can look down into the valley and realize that,at 7500ft, you-I-am above the weather now...think it is still raining in Fresno...beautiful here today...then of course back to work and other peoples mistakes causing me more work and grief..but it was OK...acceptance seems easier when I am taking care of myself..exercise is the best combatant for depression I have found..love-B

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Hey Buddy, I Sent Another E-mail To Colin To Join This Site. Like To Get Some More Of Us Rounded Up In Here. There's A Lot Of Nice People In Here.

Chris Gets Better Every Day

Ps

I Make It Out There You Cook The Steak This Time K

[eddie z.]

Bruno,
I was thinking King's Canyon, but I didn't type it because I didn't want to look ignorant in case I was wrong. And I didn't think Kansas City was in California.
. Thanks for sharing about the skiing! I am even more jealous now. teehee.
Love and hugs,
Eddie

[bruno123]

Steak..? Prime Rib for you buddy!!!! Seriously..remember how sobercop was talking about a gathering at Estes? I could get us spectacular rates here and make certain we eat good!!!! Or even you and Colin and your family...something to think about...
Love-B

[Don W]

Hi Bruno, You sound great. I've been trying to picture you discription of the area your in. It really sound beautiful. Hey, I'm even starting to envy you. I haven't done it for years but, cross country is great. Talk about getting up close and personal with nature. What my wife and I lke to do is rent travel videos of places. I'm going to see if they have one for your area. Even, if we don't have plans to go, it's fun to dream. Sober, sometimes I can even put myself mentally in the video. I suggest this to anyone who wants to get away, at least in your mind. The pictures stay with you for days. Don W

[eddie z.]

Originally Posted by Don W

I've been trying to picture you discription of the area your in. It really sound beautiful.

Check this out, Don!
Love and hugs,
Eddie

[bruno123]

Kings Canyon is really beautiful. You'd be suprised at how many ecosystems there are here and how quickly it changes one to the next...mail only gets as far as King Canyon Post office at Grant Grove..thus, my addy..I am..20? miles more or less East of there in the Sequoia National Forest..almost to Giant Forest on a map...alot more snow...more dense forest..bigger trees..they say that the Sherman Tree..3 miles East..is the largest living thing on Earth...that road will be closed for awhile..we can still only get in and out running escorts but that may change tomorrow...I couldn't make the meeting Fri, cuz the last escort leaves at 5, comes back at 6..the meeting is at 7..I could get a room and come back on the escort 11 am the next day...but the only rooms right around there are at the local tavern...I don't even have to look for reasons not to make meetings..Love-B

[eddie z.]

(((bruno))),
What's for breakfast? teehee. Guess I'll just have cereal. Ever do any online meetings? I have a friend on here who does the meetings with audio so it's pretty much as if she were on the phone. Sounds pretty cool. My connection isn't fast enough for that. Well, maybe you can get out next week, huh? Wishing you the best!
Love and hugs,
Eddie

[bruno123]

Hi Eddie-no, no online meetings..I can't use the puter in my office, as the snow has gotten so high it blocks the wireless signal...I use the owners puter in her cabin-she lives elsewhere..satellite fade is pretty common, but that isn't really the reason I don't do meetings...I can't deny that AA saved my life..very literally...it really is a miracle that I am sober at all..but I guess I choose to be somewhat disillusioned with the whole fraternity...ya know..I have this thing...problem that..I have tried to talk to some about but feel I am not taken too seriously..until I leave, but I never stay in touch..no matter where I am or who I know..I just ..bale after a few months... I guess it is a need to run or some such..but I have done it my entire life...I'm 42..the longest I have ever stayed in one town is about 3 yrs..having lived in every part of that town and having several jobs over that period...I get this "chronic malcontent" thing working where I just don't want to be here anymore and even if I have people that I am kinda close to..I get disgusted with "superficial" relationships..leave and don't stay in touch..I love it here, but I spend more time on the computer researching my next gig than I do focused on recovery...some days, it is all I can do to stay in the here and now..and convince myself it is allright..here and now...my life used to be total chaos..it was never boring...hard to explain...Love-B

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Well buddy,


shame there isn't a lot of jobs here. You sure can give a good story of how this program works. I'm only sorry, that we've or, I should say I have lost contact with Donna.

You bring a lot of joy with your stories. I sure do hope to come out sometime and have you fix me a steak.

your friend

chris

[eddie z.]

Originally Posted by bruno123

hard to explain.

Yeah, I didn't know what to say to your last post. I JUST turned 38 and have lived in the same town almost all that time and have never lived outside NC, so it's hard for me to understand the kind of chronic malcontent of which you spoke. I like to travel, but I always come home, you know? I hope someday you find some peace, bruno!

Hey, Chris!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

[3legacy]

How you doing today Bruno?