Holiday triggers

[Doug]

One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible. It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later, whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness, and an instinctive desire to control.
--Anonymous

There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow, decorations, "Silent Night," "Jingle Bells," wrapped packages, a nativity scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These "triggers" can evoke in us the warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration.

There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and evoke different feelings and memories.

Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses - and we remember.

Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional setting.

We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, and anxious. We may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors - the low self worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering memories recorded deep within us.

If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories, we can pull ourselves back into the present by self care: acknowledging our feelings, detaching, working the Steps, and affirming ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today.

Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice.

[GoldenGutters]

I truly needed to read this today..............bump!

[Astro]

Thanks for sharing. I needed to read that, especially considering we're about to start the "Triple Crown" of holidays. Here somes Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. Better hold on tight!

[Tommygun]

I grew up in a very messed up household My mom and step dad were both drug addicts, when I lived with my Father I was beaten and had to walk on eggshells. One Christmas he grounded me, alowing me to open my presents but not allowed to play with them. I remember one Christmas in my life that was really good, out of 39 years of my life. Through the aboved mentioned actions, I have let that go and I am going to have the best Christmas yet. I have been buying Christmas decorations for weeks now. I have a 9' santa on a motorcycle for my front yard. I am going to be a newlywed and have 2 step sons. By next Christmas my daughter will be born and as long as I stay clean they will only get better. I have had triggers, but someone told me the triggers aren't out there. They are in my own mind. Today I recognize that ands do not act on them