Last Call

After 8 months of sobriety I took the holidays off, and I am back with a renewed commitment to make it work this time. Initially I blamed old thinking and coping skills to deal with the chaos and stress in my life. But I think there is a bigger issue to deal with.

Throughout my drinking career I unconsciously arranged my life around my drinking. Work schedules, migrating to less demanding jobs, activities with the family, everything. Nothing was going to interfere with drinking. So big surprise I suppose, I quit drinking and find I can do my job with ½ my brain, I have no outside life to speak of, I have few activities that I do regularly with family, I don't have any friends outside of work. My life is unmanageable with or without alcohol in its current form, but it seemed to make sense drinking.

In my case my life didn't auto-magically rearrange itself after I removed alcohol. If I want to be the ambitious, productive, fit, active, social, etc. person I used to be before alcohol, I have to develop totally different habits, and a totally different outlook on life.. The longer I stayed sober the more obvious this became.

I have tried step work, and therapy, various self help programs. My immediate reaction to any attempt to change it is anxiety, resistance. I have made some progress with attempts to get back in shape.

It seems like step work, therapy, etc. is focused on reasons for our depression, anxiety, why we drank. Poor upbringing, people that wronged us, traumatic events, etc. But I don't have anything like that to remove from the equation. There is some remorse about wasting part of my life in such a manner, but I can move beyond that. I drank for many years and it gradually blossomed into a habit that took control, literally. I can remove alcohol, I did it for 8 months. Now I need to figure out how to develop a life style that works without it, and not by replacing one obsession with another.

I guess I am just looking for some feedback on how to redevelop some of the attributes that alcohol stole.

LC

readyforhelp

LC,

I am still "reprogramming." I have to stay in the moments and that helps me not to project which reduces my anxiety/depression and use. Some things that have helped immensely are reading recovery books and experience books like "Drinking. A Love Story," "Healing the Addictive Mind," and "Beyond the Influence." I also meditate (highly recommended) and do yoga. Eating right is extremely important as well.

While reading your post, KEEP IT SIMPLE came to my mind. I am guilty of overcomplicating things and can see where that has gotten me into trouble. Too, I think the work that we do can be a major contributor. I love my job now, but the job I had before this one was sucking the soul out of me. My alcohol use was spreading to other substances to fix the pain and it was all starting to disturb me.

I wish you luck in your journey.

Mark75

All I can say is that I empathize completely.

For me, I think it may be a gratitude problem. There are alot of things I like to do that are best done sober - cycling, skiing, shooting, playing guitar, fly fishing, etc... I wonder if I don't value the things I can do enough to be grateful for whatever ability I have. If I can be more grateful, I think I will do those things I can

I don't know, just a thought...

Mark

TryingSoHard

Man, I'm with Cubile... I empathize completely. I think I'm pretty much in the same place as you, except I'm only 3 1/2 months sober. I knew this while I was still drinking, but it didn't matter as much: I have lost A LOT of the hobbies and qualities that made me a fun, creative, healthy person. I have lost SO many of my old good habits, and I just can't figure out how to get them back.

I just deleted a bunch of stuff because this is not about me. I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to how you feel, and I hope we can help each other figure out the answers. I wish you much luck and peace.

Darylord

Sobriety sure isn't as easy as I thought. being over 2 years clean and my migraines coming I felt I would have NO problem with a script for painkillers...HA was I wrong.

If anything I have learned is we are never the same again after this sad to say! ;( The only good thing I learned is after 2 years I rarely if ever thought about my old habit...just have to start over again!

I got into weightlifting after getting clean and now that is suffering!!

Thats why we are all here...

Oh HI everyone!!!