Some Friday light relief

[Dunitall]

Hi all

I'm a recovering alcoholic and through this site together with AA, have been beginning to enjoy life over the last couple of months.

My long suffering g/f goes to Alanon and between us, we're really getting there. One of the things to come out of our meetings is the fact that we both demonstrated codependnecy tendencies. We're working on that too.

However it has made me look at people and things in a new light. Foe example, I am concerned that our four year old cat is showing some bad signs of codiness. She always hangs around one of us and curls up to sleep either on or right next to us. She can't feed herself and whenever we leave the house, she follows us down the drive.

When she goes out hunting, she always drops a mouse or a rabbit at our feet and seems to be constantly seeking approval.

I'm worried. She can't read so there's no point in leaving a copy of Codependency no more on her cushion. Not that she ever sleeps there anyway.

Any humorous suggestions or similar experiences would be greatly welcomed.

Rich

[duo]

Hi Rich
This cat of yours is an arch-manipulator man! Can't you see that?? She only wants you to believe that she needs you - the naked truth of the matter is that a cat NEVER needs a human being; it only sometimes chooses to have one around for its own convenience.

She is also, obviously, displaying overt signs of jealousy (oh yeah - they are capable of this emotion and many more ...) as she senses that you & your partner are drawing closer together now that you're in recovery. The spoils of hunting as gifts are a dead giveaway - she is not giving this to BOTH of you, she's giving it to ONE of you and thus trying to drive a wedge between you - this is a cat's way of saying: "Gimme more attention!!!" - a demand which is tantamount to accusing you of downright negligence. And remember, she doesn't need the attention, she just wants it.

And as far as seeking approval goes - it's the other way around: you're obviously doing something right and she's showing HER approval of YOU...

Well, my advice, in the light of being an experienced cat-adoptee (she is not YOUR cat - you are HER human being - did I mention that?) is that you should just humour her - DON'T try reverse psychology, whatever you do (it will turn on you like a boomerang) - and do your proper duty. Let things be, maintain the status quo, but do lavish extra attention wherever possible without expecting anything in return (you will not get it, anyway). And finally I leave you with these wise words:

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will **** on your computer."
- Bruce Graham

Hope this helps
***DUO***

[BubbaBob]

...in their mind, you are not their owner, you are their staff.

BubbaBob

[Dunitall]

Thanks Duo and Bubba

We went away for the night on Saturday and returned Sunday lunchtime.

In the absence of us being around to fend for her, she has spent the night with next door's Tom Cat. Boy there are some interesting things lying around on the floor (and marks on the wall).

Back to being a servant now.

Rich