I need your spirit, friends. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Dan · 10-25-2004, 02:30 PM

Been hanging tough I think. Doing the do things, as they say. But I'm blue, and I think I need to stop for a moment and ask for encouragement.
I'm sober, working my recovery as best and honestly as I can.
I don't obsess about alcohol and other drugs anymore it seems. I don't find myself fighting cravings. I'm sleeping okay and for the most part I'm content.
But I'm scared of the enormity of what I'm trying to do.
Getting through separation from my wife and children suddenly is becoming unmanageable. The day is approaching. It's too close for comfort.
I need some good thoughts from you, family.
I'm sad, I'm scared and I feel a bit lonely.
And I need you.
I don't think I'm one to ask for much usually.
So if you could send a prayer for my children and my wife, and a little thought for my cantankerous self, I hope you all know I'll be forever grateful.
(...)

Peaches04 · 10-25-2004, 02:33 PM

Hi ((((((((((((Dan)))))))))))))))! I'll send you my prayers for you and your loved ones! Your feelings sound natural and healthy and I wish you Peace in the trying time you are going through. We're here for you!

**51anna** · 10-25-2004, 02:39 PM

Dan,

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time right now and I'm so glad you posted. I didn't know you and your wife were going to go ahead with a separation and I'm sad to hear that. I know how much your family means to you. You are doing amazingly well and have from the start so you should feel very good about what you've accomplished.

I hope you can focus on how far you've come and what a great person you are. I know that not being with your children all the time will be hard because you want to be a father who is there for his kids. But, you are full of love for your children and they will know that and they will know that their Dad is a strong, dependable and smart man who is always there when they need him.

I will absolutely pray for your family, including cantankerous you, and I have faith that things will work out the way they should. Dan, use this as an opportunity to grow and to learn.

My thoughts and prayers are always with you.

Love, Anna

JaySee · 10-25-2004, 02:49 PM

Hey Dan

Much love coming over the pond for you mate. You'll all be in my prayers tonight.

Tough gig you have at the moment my friend, my love and support is always here for you. I too believe that things will get better - I know you feel a million miles from that at the moment, but hang in there.

JC

Frost · 10-25-2004, 02:54 PM

Remember this, If God brought you to it, God will bring you through it. Have hope, faith, and trust in your Higher Power.

Alice Wonder · 10-25-2004, 03:03 PM

Dan you know that when you sound the pagan horn i am here.... i will put you and your family into my daily meditations. Actually i am meeting tonite with fellow buddhists to chant together for peace so i will ask them to send a little light and love your way as well... if you don't mind. Dan it is a huge sign of how well your recovery is going... for you to know when you need something and to ask for it.
when you said you were scared of the enormity of what you were trying to do.... i totally pictured Michaelangelos "the David" i am sure you are familiar with it. He chose to carve David right before he slew Goliath instead of afterward like most sculptors. Just a man standing.... before his greatest moment...
love-alice

wingsfree · 10-25-2004, 03:41 PM

Oh my dearest Dan

I'm so so sorry for the troubled times you are enduring right now, and I thank God for your sobriety. There's a reaon why things happen, so they say, and right now I believe it's why you've found the will and strength to keep the gift of sobriety, smiling at that.

You can count on my prayers Dan, for you and your family.

You have my spirit, shutting my eyes now, willing it to you, all the support you've given me, always knowing the right thing to say to me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Please take care of yourself.

All my love my northern brother, I hope you feel some big hugs fly down hwy 17.

Dan

Love....Denise

**Ann** · 10-25-2004, 04:45 PM

((DAN))

Quote:

But I'm scared of the enormity of what I'm trying to do.

When the burden is too heavy, it's good to share it with friends. That's what fellowship is all about. I believe you told me that once, Dan, and you were right.

Just doing one day at a time helps keep the load lighter and your focus on the road you are on. Try to have faith that you will be led to a good place, even if it is not the place you would have chosen.

Your children will always be your children, and they will always love you and share their lives with you. Nothing can change that, Dan, whether you live with them or apart, your hearts will always be together.

Life is ever changing, each chapter is a new beginning, and love and faith will see us all through. Even blind faith will see us through the mist.

Sending prayers for you and your family, Dan, for strength and love in the days to come.

Hugs and Love
Ann

KelKel · 10-25-2004, 05:05 PM

Dan....
Earlier today I was thinking about sending you a pm and inquiring how things were going and how you were hanging in there?
But in the past you have not felt like discussing stuff, so I decided not to...
I am so, so grateful that you shared in your time of need. I know how hard it is to say
"hey, i am feeling really crappy right now!"
Just be the best possible Dad you can be. That way you will be being the best possible guy that you can be.... And you are certainly one of the best guys I know.....
I just have to warn you.... depending on the elections, my whole darn clan may be moving to Canada.....

A little halloween spirit coming your way...

:hdracula

degadar · 10-25-2004, 05:13 PM

Hi Dan,

My thoughts are with you too Dan. I've written this message a hundred times trying to say the thing that's in my head that I hope will help but I'm failing...

If the despair squid wanders your way again - just say the word and I'll **** it.

Deg.

2dayzmuse · 10-25-2004, 05:13 PM

(((...)))

I can relate. I feel the same. Different situation, but it feels just as enormous. It seems to huge to conquer at times, but we must and we will. We have to. Through the support of those who understand, we will get through the tough times. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep hanging tough Dan. I will if you will. Faith, hope and strength. Everything for a reason.

splendra · 10-25-2004, 05:39 PM

((((((((big Hug))))))))))

In memory of miracle · 10-25-2004, 05:55 PM

A day at a time my friend..here for you ! Prayers ^ Trish

ted · 10-25-2004, 05:59 PM

DAN,I TOO HAVE WENT DOWN THAT PATH.
I KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH.
MY PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU.
LIKE WAS SAID,YOUR CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS LOVE THIER DAD.
YOU BEING SOBER THROUGH THIS TOUGH TIME SPEAKS VOLUMES.
YOU HAVE A GIFT MY FRIEND,BLESSINGS ARE SURE TO COME YOUR WAY.
LOTS OF LOVE COMING AT YOU......YOUR FRIENDS..ted/SUE

lonlion · 10-25-2004, 06:36 PM

Dan;
For sure you have my thoughts and prayers today! I prayed for you as soon as I read your post, and will add you to my bedtime prayer list tonight as well.
We never know how strong we can be until we have major obstacles to overcome.

You have personally helped me when I needed it, and I truly appreciated that. You are a blessing to this site Dan.

No one is useless in this world
Who lightens the burdens of it for another.

~ Charles Dickens

**DesertEyes** · 10-25-2004, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DangerousDan

... But I'm blue, and I think I need to stop for a moment and ask for encouragement.

You're in my prayers. I understand all about feeling down

Quote:

Originally Posted by DangerousDan

... But I'm scared of the enormity of what I'm trying to do...

I too will have to walk away from my family sometime soon, and yes it does feel enourmous if I try to do it alone. What works for me is to let the HP handle the enormous part, I'm just going to work on one small piece at a time. Me thinks I'm going to schedule myself a _lot_ of AA service work the whole week that I move out. I might even get one of my "babies" to be my chauffer for the day, tell him it'll keep him sober <lol>

Praying for ya Mr. Dangerous, I know your HP will be there for ya.

Mike :-)

cj. · 10-25-2004, 07:30 PM

Prayers already gone out to you and your family, Dan.

cj

Chy · 10-25-2004, 07:34 PM

((Dan)) no doubt you will persevere!

Hadenuff · 10-25-2004, 07:50 PM

You got it Dan,
sending positive thoughts your way.
H

1Marty · 10-25-2004, 08:10 PM

Dan,

Hang in there man. Just yet another construction project on the road of life. Take good care of yourself, your gonna make it. My prayers and support go out to you and your family.

Gooch · 10-25-2004, 08:59 PM

Le' dangerous 1 ......

notthat feeling blue or overwhelmed are my favorite feelings on the menu, but they are a part of the "complete range of human emotions" and as such part of the basic "food" groups. Same wisdom they gave me early on applies as well today. When I said "what am I supposed to do with these feelings?" the wise ones told me "Feel them."

Sooner owned and felt, sooner cycled through and replaced by the next venue on the menu.

Love ya brother!

KelKel · 10-25-2004, 09:17 PM

Beautiful
Gooch

**Ann** · 10-25-2004, 09:48 PM

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
Albert Schweitzer

Brookie · 10-25-2004, 11:03 PM

Dan - Sorry I didn't see this earlier. Prayer's headed your your way. Can't count how many times you've been there for me when I've been struggling.

I've written and rewritten this post about half a dozen times. Nothing I've come up with quite does it, so I hope you'll read it with your heart.

**best** · 10-25-2004, 11:33 PM

Been there and know the feeling well. My heart goes out to you.
Thing is with me... I didn't have SR at the time. My list of people I could call and talk with was getting smaller and smaller. The last call and... "can you call back tomorrow? I am on the way out the door."
Only left me with one option. Only one who was around to talk with.
If you reach the end of your rope... know that God is there.
Found out just what they mean when they speak of... That peace that transends All understanding. When you find that peace, I am sure you will better understand the driving force behind many of my posts.

Yes my prayers will be there for you with a conviction of knowing your pain first hand.

10-25-2004, 02:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,753	I need your spirit, friends. Been hanging tough I think. Doing the do things, as they say. But I'm blue, and I think I need to stop for a moment and ask for encouragement. I'm sober, working my recovery as best and honestly as I can. I don't obsess about alcohol and other drugs anymore it seems. I don't find myself fighting cravings. I'm sleeping okay and for the most part I'm content. But I'm scared of the enormity of what I'm trying to do. Getting through separation from my wife and children suddenly is becoming unmanageable. The day is approaching. It's too close for comfort. I need some good thoughts from you, family. I'm sad, I'm scared and I feel a bit lonely. And I need you. I don't think I'm one to ask for much usually. So if you could send a prayer for my children and my wife, and a little thought for my cantankerous self, I hope you all know I'll be forever grateful. (...)

10-25-2004, 02:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,165	Dan, I'm so sorry you're having a tough time right now and I'm so glad you posted. I didn't know you and your wife were going to go ahead with a separation and I'm sad to hear that. I know how much your family means to you. You are doing amazingly well and have from the start so you should feel very good about what you've accomplished. I hope you can focus on how far you've come and what a great person you are. I know that not being with your children all the time will be hard because you want to be a father who is there for his kids. But, you are full of love for your children and they will know that and they will know that their Dad is a strong, dependable and smart man who is always there when they need him. I will absolutely pray for your family, including cantankerous you, and I have faith that things will work out the way they should. Dan, use this as an opportunity to grow and to learn. My thoughts and prayers are always with you. Love, Anna __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

10-25-2004, 02:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
JaySee Choosing Life Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: London Posts: 888	Hey Dan Much love coming over the pond for you mate. You'll all be in my prayers tonight. Tough gig you have at the moment my friend, my love and support is always here for you. I too believe that things will get better - I know you feel a million miles from that at the moment, but hang in there. JC __________________ I told these guys I could now drink socially →

10-25-2004, 02:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
Frost Learning To Let It Be Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New York Posts: 156	Remember this, If God brought you to it, God will bring you through it. Have hope, faith, and trust in your Higher Power. __________________ :na2

10-25-2004, 03:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
wingsfree Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Life Is Short Posts: 2,026	Oh my dearest Dan I'm so so sorry for the troubled times you are enduring right now, and I thank God for your sobriety. There's a reaon why things happen, so they say, and right now I believe it's why you've found the will and strength to keep the gift of sobriety, smiling at that. You can count on my prayers Dan, for you and your family. You have my spirit, shutting my eyes now, willing it to you, all the support you've given me, always knowing the right thing to say to me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please take care of yourself. All my love my northern brother, I hope you feel some big hugs fly down hwy 17. Dan Love....Denise __________________ *God provides the winds, but man must raise the sails........Saint Augustine*

10-25-2004, 02:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
Peaches04 Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Carrollton TX Posts: 440	Hi ((((((((((((Dan)))))))))))))))! I'll send you my prayers for you and your loved ones! Your feelings sound natural and healthy and I wish you Peace in the trying time you are going through. We're here for you!

10-25-2004, 03:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
Alice Wonder Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Los Angeles, Ca. Posts: 353	Dan you know that when you sound the pagan horn i am here.... i will put you and your family into my daily meditations. Actually i am meeting tonite with fellow buddhists to chant together for peace so i will ask them to send a little light and love your way as well... if you don't mind. Dan it is a huge sign of how well your recovery is going... for you to know when you need something and to ask for it. when you said you were scared of the enormity of what you were trying to do.... i totally pictured Michaelangelos "the David" i am sure you are familiar with it. He chose to carve David right before he slew Goliath instead of afterward like most sculptors. Just a man standing.... before his greatest moment... love-alice

10-25-2004, 05:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,313	Dan.... Earlier today I was thinking about sending you a pm and inquiring how things were going and how you were hanging in there? But in the past you have not felt like discussing stuff, so I decided not to... I am so, so grateful that you shared in your time of need. I know how hard it is to say "hey, i am feeling really crappy right now!" Just be the best possible Dad you can be. That way you will be being the best possible guy that you can be.... And you are certainly one of the best guys I know..... I just have to warn you.... depending on the elections, my whole darn clan may be moving to Canada..... A little halloween spirit coming your way... :hdracula

10-25-2004, 05:13 PM	#10 (permalink)
degadar Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: UK Posts: 296	Hi Dan, My thoughts are with you too Dan. I've written this message a hundred times trying to say the thing that's in my head that I hope will help but I'm failing... If the despair squid wanders your way again - just say the word and I'll **** it. Deg.

10-25-2004, 05:13 PM	#11 (permalink)
2dayzmuse Paused Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Washington Posts: 5,083	(((...))) I can relate. I feel the same. Different situation, but it feels just as enormous. It seems to huge to conquer at times, but we must and we will. We have to. Through the support of those who understand, we will get through the tough times. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep hanging tough Dan. I will if you will. Faith, hope and strength. Everything for a reason.

10-25-2004, 05:39 PM	#12 (permalink)
splendra the girl can't help it Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: splendraville Posts: 4,817 Blog Entries: 3	((((((((big Hug)))))))))) __________________ nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

10-25-2004, 05:55 PM	#13 (permalink)
In memory of miracle In Memory Of Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Connecticut. Posts: 3,740	A day at a time my friend..here for you ! Prayers ^ Trish __________________ In Memory Of Teach only love...

10-25-2004, 05:59 PM	#14 (permalink)
ted OH SH!T Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA- Posts: 1,658	DAN,I TOO HAVE WENT DOWN THAT PATH. I KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH. MY PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU. LIKE WAS SAID,YOUR CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS LOVE THIER DAD. YOU BEING SOBER THROUGH THIS TOUGH TIME SPEAKS VOLUMES. YOU HAVE A GIFT MY FRIEND,BLESSINGS ARE SURE TO COME YOUR WAY. LOTS OF LOVE COMING AT YOU......YOUR FRIENDS..ted/SUE __________________ ... ... ...

10-25-2004, 06:36 PM	#15 (permalink)
lonlion Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 422	Dan; For sure you have my thoughts and prayers today! I prayed for you as soon as I read your post, and will add you to my bedtime prayer list tonight as well. We never know how strong we can be until we have major obstacles to overcome. You have personally helped me when I needed it, and I truly appreciated that. You are a blessing to this site Dan. No one is useless in this world Who lightens the burdens of it for another. ~ Charles Dickens __________________ WHEN WE SPEND TOO MUCH TIME LOOKING IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR, IT TAKES OUR FOCUS OFF THE ROAD AHEAD, AND WE CAN CRASH

10-25-2004, 07:30 PM	#17 (permalink)
cj. Mending Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Atlantic Canada Posts: 300	Prayers already gone out to you and your family, Dan. cj

10-25-2004, 07:34 PM	#18 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,886	((Dan)) no doubt you will persevere!

10-25-2004, 07:50 PM	#19 (permalink)
Hadenuff Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: USA Posts: 123	You got it Dan, sending positive thoughts your way. H

10-25-2004, 08:10 PM	#20 (permalink)
1Marty Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: God's Grace Posts: 689	Dan, Hang in there man. Just yet another construction project on the road of life. Take good care of yourself, your gonna make it. My prayers and support go out to you and your family.

10-25-2004, 08:59 PM	#21 (permalink)
Gooch Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: out there... Posts: 2,668	Le' dangerous 1 ...... notthat feeling blue or overwhelmed are my favorite feelings on the menu, but they are a part of the "complete range of human emotions" and as such part of the basic "food" groups. Same wisdom they gave me early on applies as well today. When I said "what am I supposed to do with these feelings?" the wise ones told me "Feel them." Sooner owned and felt, sooner cycled through and replaced by the next venue on the menu. Love ya brother!

10-25-2004, 09:17 PM	#22 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,313	Beautiful Gooch

10-25-2004, 09:48 PM	#23 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,163	At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. Albert Schweitzer __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

10-25-2004, 11:03 PM	#24 (permalink)
Brookie Old and in the Way Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: High and Dry Posts: 789	Dan - Sorry I didn't see this earlier. Prayer's headed your your way. Can't count how many times you've been there for me when I've been struggling. I've written and rewritten this post about half a dozen times. Nothing I've come up with quite does it, so I hope you'll read it with your heart.

10-25-2004, 11:33 PM	#25 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,190	Been there and know the feeling well. My heart goes out to you. Thing is with me... I didn't have SR at the time. My list of people I could call and talk with was getting smaller and smaller. The last call and... "can you call back tomorrow? I am on the way out the door." Only left me with one option. Only one who was around to talk with. If you reach the end of your rope... know that God is there. Found out just what they mean when they speak of... That peace that transends All understanding. When you find that peace, I am sure you will better understand the driving force behind many of my posts. Yes my prayers will be there for you with a conviction of knowing your pain first hand. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?