Need someone to talk to

[hether25]

My name is Hether. I am 25 years old. I live in California. I am addicted to crystal meth. I was clean since April 21, 2004. However, yesterday temptation overpowered me. I feel so upset. I don't have anyone to talk to about my addiction or my cravings or anything like that because no one around me undertands. If there is anyone willing, I have open ears.

[Peaches04]

Hi hether - hang in there honey! someone will be along who can give you better advise than me... but, people will listen. You can say anything you like on here, we are all open and ahve been there!

[Phinneas]

From my recent relapse I realized that what I need most is to BE with peope who understand. People who have been there, who know my pain. Please get to a meeting, call someone, reach out. Please don't isolate. You are not alone.

jojo

[Vela D.]

Call Information and get the phone no. to the central office for AA or NA so that you can go to a meeting. You will find help there and others with the same kinds of issues. Get lots of phone no.'s, so you can call people.

Pray, Don't worry you 'll get it . Just keep trying. Don't give up!

Praying for you! Go to a meeting. Vela

[DesertEyes]

Originally Posted by hether25

... I don't have anyone to talk to about my addiction or my cravings or anything like that because no one around me undertands...

Now you have a whole bunch of people who understands. Here on this forum and in the program of NA. I used to live across the road from you in VictorVille, so we're kinda neighbors :-)

Here's a list of meetings right where you live.

http://www.cirna.org/gma/index.htm

You can still make the Hospitality meeting in Victorville at 8PM, they don't mind if you get there late. There's also meetings all day tomorrow in Apple Valley pick one and go.

Mike :-)

[Guilty Spark]

'Keep Coming Back!'

In my experience, there is no better advice I could give than that. There's another saying that comes to mind, 'bring your body and your mind will follow.' That is true, in my experience as well.

I've relapsed more times than I can count on both of my hands (and toes) and I never understood why I couldn't stay clean and what I was missing until I managed to stick around for awhile and then I realized that I was missing. There have always been meetings and people getting clean - I just wasn't there for it. There will always be meetings and people getting clean - whether you (or I) are there for it is up to us.

For me, recovery is a process. I believe recovery is a process like I believe Einsteins theory of relativity. I believe it as truth. I believe that if I keep coming back, I will stay clean. Why? Because there is something to the 12 steps and their meetings that I can't explain. There is something there that changes me for the better. There is a process that takes place when I keep coming back and don't use and it's that process which has continued to save my life on a regular basis. Alot of people will say alot of things such as; get some phone numbers, call those numbers, get a sponsor, work the steps, service work, etc etc. It's all great advice but all you have to really worry about is just 'keep coming back' because when you keep coming back, this process will take a hold of you and the rest will come...in time (patience is the key). If you keep coming back, this process will bring you on a unimaginable journey that will change your life, as it has changed mine and millions of others. This is a process that is taking place, right now as we speak, within hundreds or thousands of people in your own area and all over the world.

However, when we don't keep coming back, that process doesn't take place and we slide back into our habits and the things that we know (they're usually destructive habits...).

It could easily be explained by picturing ourselves walking up an escalator that's going down. As long as we keep coming back and allowing that process of recovery to continue its truly natural course, we can walk up that escalator one step at a time. When we stop going to meetings is when we stop moving forward...but that escalator keeps going down whether we're walking up it or not.

Hether, the fact that you're here - the fact that we're all here is solid proof that the process of recovery is working...because we keep coming back.

[Phinneas]

Hear hear, guilty spark. Well said. I have to tell myself over and over again, just show up and be open, show up and be open, show up and be open, as infinitum. It works if you work it.

jojo

[luckyfosho]

Heather,
Don't beat yourself up your relaspe can be a learning experience. Think about what you were feeling when the temptation took over and then think about different things that you could have done like calling someone (sponser)
you should have a phone list handy at all times. I have one in my car at work and at home. You are only human and we make mistakes but you get back up again and learn from your mistakes. get in the habit of calling some once sober everyday. We are all just alike and we know how hard it can be.. Be grateful that you had the courage to be so honest and open about it. are you going to any meetings? If not find one two or three. You have the courage of the lion to admit you have a problem and to take a stand and do something about it be proud of yourself. I will be looking to hear from you. Keep ya head up you will be alright.
<luckyfosho@yahoo.com>

[tramp]

Yo Heather.
I am from Landers, and the best thing I ever did for myself was to get out of the High Desert. Stayin clean in the speed capitol of the world was impossible for me.

[ilikepurple]

Hi Heather! I am in CA too, 30 years old and have the same addiction. I last used yesterday at 5pm and I am really coming down right now. I don't know who to turn to my support system sux.

[Passion]

HEATHER, DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF! REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU ARE LOVED! BE STILL AND KNOW THAT GOD IS NEAR AND READY TO HELP ESSPECIALLY WHEN WE FALL. HE PROMISES US HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOT EVER! ONE DAY AT A TIME! NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT THE PAST AND TOMORROW IS NOT HERE YET. YOU CAN ONLY FOCUS AND STAY IN THE HEAR AND NOW.
PRAYING FOR YOU,
PASSION :heart: