Alcohol tried to murder my soul.
Alcohol tried to murder my soul.
'Alcohol tried to murder my soul' is included in a recently purchased book, ' My Mind Is Out To Get Me ' , Humour and Wisdom in Recovery - 500 Sayings & Slogans, compiled by Dr.Ron B.
A someone, in recovery who now, as part of it sees himself as a self directed student of the principles and practices of both Stoic and Buddhist philosophy together with those in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' including of course the suggested 12 Step programme of recovery.
On reading it, it immediately resonated with me in terms of, as part of the community of mankind, Epictetus said,'We're all little souls dragging a cadaver around.'
And whilst the soul is inviolate ' see the 'Bhagavad Gita' which has it about 7/10ths of an atom, no idea where they got the measurements from?
And remembering that we deal with alcohol, 'cunning, baffling and powerful' as referred to in the BB, the truth and veracity of that observation near jumped off the page at me as, in truth in my 'drinking days' it not only all but killed me but tried to destroy the essence of my being i.e. my soul!
Fortunately, I now am after enjoying a prolonged, a day at a time, right, period of sobriety I am beginning to feel once again, in the words of William Ernest Henley's poem, 'Invictus' that am 'Master of My Fate and Captain of My Soul.'
A someone, in recovery who now, as part of it sees himself as a self directed student of the principles and practices of both Stoic and Buddhist philosophy together with those in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' including of course the suggested 12 Step programme of recovery.
On reading it, it immediately resonated with me in terms of, as part of the community of mankind, Epictetus said,'We're all little souls dragging a cadaver around.'
And whilst the soul is inviolate ' see the 'Bhagavad Gita' which has it about 7/10ths of an atom, no idea where they got the measurements from?
And remembering that we deal with alcohol, 'cunning, baffling and powerful' as referred to in the BB, the truth and veracity of that observation near jumped off the page at me as, in truth in my 'drinking days' it not only all but killed me but tried to destroy the essence of my being i.e. my soul!
Fortunately, I now am after enjoying a prolonged, a day at a time, right, period of sobriety I am beginning to feel once again, in the words of William Ernest Henley's poem, 'Invictus' that am 'Master of My Fate and Captain of My Soul.'
I don't know if I can go along with alcohol, the substance, having any particular powers or intentions towards me. I suppose in our book we give it some personality .." subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm.. Alcohol was my master... cunning, baffling, powerful... " but really are we not talking about alcoholism? The drinking was but a symptom of an underlying disorder. Even that seems I bit wide of the mark.
I suppose it is possible that alcoholism is a sickness of the soul. The symptom of that would be my inability to live sober in the world, unable to connect with other souls. Rather than being the symptom, alcohol was my solution. I don't really like the term self medicating because the way I used alcohol was far from any concept of medication, but in a way alcohol was my medicine, the only way I could feel half decent in a cold world. It was my treatment for the underlying soul sickness, and it turned on me. It had side effects, craving, loss of control and choice, which in the end made the soul sickness worse. Its initial beneficial effects were an illusion.
Alcohol didn't try to do anything. My continued use of an external substance to try and cure an internal condition almost lead to my destruction.
I suppose it is possible that alcoholism is a sickness of the soul. The symptom of that would be my inability to live sober in the world, unable to connect with other souls. Rather than being the symptom, alcohol was my solution. I don't really like the term self medicating because the way I used alcohol was far from any concept of medication, but in a way alcohol was my medicine, the only way I could feel half decent in a cold world. It was my treatment for the underlying soul sickness, and it turned on me. It had side effects, craving, loss of control and choice, which in the end made the soul sickness worse. Its initial beneficial effects were an illusion.
Alcohol didn't try to do anything. My continued use of an external substance to try and cure an internal condition almost lead to my destruction.
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