zerothehero

I heard a guy recently say that it is a myth that people who start using at a young age experience arrested development. He said what gets lost in the process of addiction is resilience, adding that recovery is about recovering our resilience. Any thoughts?

Gilmer

Certainly one of the primary reasons I leaned on alcohol as a crutch was to help me avoid dealing with unpleasant situations. I had few problem-solving skills when it came to emotional matters.

When I put aside alcohol, I had to face problems as they came. Through what I learned on here, I grew to be unrattled by changing circumstances. I learned to roll with the punches instead of nursing my wounds in a bottle.

By developing adaptability I became tougher: able to bounce back fairly quickly from adversity.

So I guess you could say that when I was drinking I lacked resilience, and since I've stopped I've developed it.

LadyBlue0527

Great post zero and great response Gilmer.

When I was drinking there was only one answer to a problem. Once that was removed from the picture it forced me to find other ways to deal. Eventually, I found out that how things affected me was quite different once the choice of alcohol was removed. In fact, what actually bothered me was far less.

So, resiliency, absolutely, but also the realization that I invented much of what bothered me just to find a reason to drink.

zerothehero

I never needed a reason to drink, but I get what you're saying. I think resilience comes from facing our fears (or anger or resentments or...) rather than trying to drown them.

The guy who made the statement about resilience, by the way, is an addiction counselor. I was tempted to ask him why I still find farts so hilarious if my addiction hadn't arrested my development.

Wholesome

I don't know, I don't think addiction arrests maturity or resilience. I've been through some really tough times and found courage where I didn't know I had it while drinking/ drugging. Sure I used it for an escape, but I used during the good times too. I used because I liked the way it made me feel and damn the consequences. I started using a few years after I put my Barbie dolls away so I'd like to think that I still matured over the last 24 years haha. I think it stunts our coping skills and numbs our emotions so after quitting we have to get used to feeling things and handling unpleasant situations. Stress, patience, anger, joy, etc are things we have to learn to experience without enhancing or numbing. It can be intense. I guess everyone is different though, I just wouldn't say that I lack resilience. Maturity is up for debate though

PhoenixJ

2 different things to me. I am certainly ******** emotionally. Resilience is adapting, keep on fighting, adapting in a functional and proactive way- growing from each challenge set to me.

Redmayne

As a self directed student of the principles and practices of Stoic philosophy and myself having lead a 'rich', full life of experiential learning, knowing both great triumph and disaster in equal measure.

For myself, I can say that nothing beats self resilience and experience ever along with good mental health...

Meisme

I love this. When I was younger I could bounce back easier over things, but as alcohol and weed took over I stayed stuck in bad emotions, situations, and a bad life. I could recover from nothing as the rot of substances did not let me. They just demanded more inflexibility to recover from the smallest of things with out a drink to make it better.

Redmayne

It's perhaps worth noting then that alcoholism is a progressive disease/illness...there's a lot of truth in this,

'Alcohol gave me wins to fly,

Then it took away the sky.'

In my 'drinking days', it certainly did for me....

Ken33xx

Well stated.